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Rites of passage

Lesbian coming-of-age story moving, effective

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rites, books, Teaching the Cat to Sit, Michelle Theall, gay news, Washington Blade
rites, books, Teaching the Cat to Sit, Michelle Theall, gay news, Washington Blade

(Image courtesy Gallery Books)

ā€˜Teaching the Cat to Sit: A Memoirā€™

By Michelle Theall

Gallery Books

$24.99

288 pages

Sometimes, you feel so adrift in your rites of passage.

Unmoored, unanchored, you feel as though you ride each wave alone, emotions and events washing over you until you canā€™t weather the storm any longer and you need an anchor. Thatā€™s when you reach for family or God.

But what if both were denied to you?Ā InĀ ā€œTeaching the Cat to Sit,ā€ Michelle TheallĀ shares her story of standing up instead of standing still.

Al Theall and his wife were sure their second child, born in 1966, would be a boy but ā€” surprise! ā€” they got another daughter. Later, they were even more astounded that their second girl was so different from the first one: unlike her older, popular, outgoing sister, Michelle grew to be athletic, bullheaded and introverted; in fact, aside from the cat, her only friend was a neighbor girl whose parents had scandalously been divorced.

Divorce, of course, was against the teachings of the Catholic Church, the religion that Theallā€™s mother strictly followed. She was reluctant to even let her daughter play at the Crandallā€™s house, but reasoned that Theall neededĀ oneĀ friend.

That bond ended abruptly when the girlā€™s father molested Theall.

In high school, Theall had an Evangelical Christian friend, but the girlā€™s mother thought Theall was a lesbian, and put an end to the relationship. That hurt, because Theall herself didnā€™t yet realize her sexuality.

After a sweet and almost-accidental love affair with another woman while at college, Theall examined her sexual preferences and felt deeply ashamed. Catholicism taught that being gay was a sin against God. Her parents would not accept her as a lesbian. She tried to be heterosexual, but that wasnā€™t who she was. So upon graduation from Texas Tech, she moved to Colorado where she chose long-term celibacy and started re-building a relationship with her parents.

Then, after a surprising (and awkward) introduction, Theall fell in love. When she and Jill started their family, she fell in love again with a baby whoā€™d had a rough start in life. Theyā€™d hoped to raise their child in Theallā€™s Catholic faith.

But the church wasnā€™t having it.

Despite its inherent sadness, ā€œTeachingā€ is hard to put down because author Michelle Theall is a first-rate storyteller and knows how to keep a reader wanting more. Half of it is about her battle with the Catholic Church for recognition of her partner and their son and, eventually, their search for an acceptable (and accepting) religion. The other half is the memoir of her tumultuous relationship with her parents and her journey to understanding, both of them and herself.

The book works because of its deliberateness and its ultimately empowering message of truth to self. For that, and for the great biography it is, ā€œTeaching the Cat to Sitā€ is a must-read, especially for those who can relate.

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Out & About

Camp Rehoboth Theatre Company kicks off new season

Poetry jam to be followed by ‘5 Lesbians Eating a Quiche’

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(Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

CAMP Rehoboth Theatre Company will kick off its 2025 season with its first-ever poetry jam followed by a full-stage production of ā€œ5 Lesbians Eating a Quicheā€ on Friday, Feb. 21 at 5 p.m. at CAMP Rehoboth’s Elkins-Archibald Atrium.

CAMP Rehoboth Poetry Jam Poets / Performers include: Debbie Bricker, Kari Ebert, Shelley Blue Grabel, Lavance John, Vanita Leatherwood, Syd Linders, Ellie Maher, Jane Miller, Gwen Osborne, Coco Silveira, Guillermo Silverira, Laura Unruh, Paul Unruh, and Sherri Wright.

ā€œ5 Lesbians Eating A Quiche,ā€ which will run from March 7-9 debuted at CAMP Rehoboth in fall of 2022, and features returning cast members Karen Laitman, Kelly Sheridan, Gwen Osborne, Darcy Vollero, and Shelley Kingsbury, and is directed by Teri Seaton. The absurdist comedy follows the Susan B. Anthony Society for the Sisters of Gertrude Stein having their annual quiche breakfast in 1956. Winner of the 2012 NYC International Fringe Festival as Best Overall Production, ā€œ5 Lesbians Eating A Quicheā€ is a tasty recipe of hysterical laughs, sexual innuendos, unsuccessful repressions, and delicious discoveries. For more information, visit CAMP Rehobothā€™s website

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Calendar

Calendar: February 7-13

LGBTQ events in the days to come

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Friday, February 7

ā€œCenter Aging Friday Tea Timeā€ will be at 2 p.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more details, email [email protected].Ā 

Go Gay DC will host ā€œFirst Friday LGBTQ+ Community Social in the Cityā€ at 7 p.m. at P.F. Changs. This event is ideal for making new friends, professional networking, idea-sharing, and community building. This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Saturday, February 8

Go Gay DC will host ā€œLGBTQ+ Community Brunchā€ at 11 a.m. at Freddieā€™s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

ā€œFashion Freewayā€ will be at 11 a.m. at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. Guests will have the opportunity to check out the clothing closet. Clothes, shoes, accessories, and other items will be available. For more details, email [email protected].Ā 

Sunday, February 9

Go Gay DC will host ā€œLGBTQ+ Community Dinnerā€ at 6:30 p.m. at Federico Ristorante Italiano. Guests are encouraged to come enjoy an evening of Italian-style dining and conversation with other LGBTQ folk. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Go Gay DC will host ā€œLGBTQ+ Coffee and Conversationā€ at 12 p.m. at As You Are. This event is ideal for making meaningful new connections and informal community building. Or just to unwind and enjoy the group happy hour. Fabulous people from all over the world are expected. Nametags will be provided. This event is free to attend and more details are available on Eventbrite.Ā 

Monday, February 10

ā€œCenter Aging Monday Coffee & Conversationā€ will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more details, email [email protected].Ā 

Genderqueer DC will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a support group for people who identify outside of the gender binary. Whether youā€™re bigender, agender, genderfluid, or just know that youā€™re not 100% cis. For more details, visit genderqueerdc.org or Facebook.Ā 

Tuesday, February 11

Coming Out Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This group is a safe space to share experiences about coming out and discuss topics as it relates to doing so. By sharing struggles and victories the group allows those newly coming out and who have been out for a while to learn from others. For more details, email [email protected].Ā 

Trans Support Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This group is intended to provide emotionally and physically safe space for trans* people and those who may be questioning their gender identity/expression to join together in community and learn from one another.Ā  For more details, email [email protected].Ā 

Wednesday, February 12

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking ā€” allowing participants to move away from being merely ā€œapplicantsā€ toward being ā€œcandidates.ā€ For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.

Thursday, February 13

The DC Centerā€™s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245.Ā 

Virtual Yoga with Charles M. will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a free weekly class focusing on yoga, breath work, and meditation. For more details, visit the DC Center for the LGBT Communityā€™s website.

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Nightlife

D.C.ā€™s queer bars gear up for Valentineā€™s Day

Options for bears, singles, women, and more

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Join District Eagle this Valentineā€™s Day for Leather Lovers Gear Night. (Photo courtesy of the District Eagle)

Seeing red: itā€™s not just for ire toward the presidentā€™s Executive Orders. Next week is also Valentineā€™s Day. Your faithful gay bars and establishments are gearing up (in some cases, literally) for the holiday. Here is a list of just a few options for the LGBTQ+ set.

Crush

On Feb. 14, Crush debuts a new event, just in time for the holiday. Meet Grizzly, a monthly Bear Happy Hour. Running 5-10 p.m., Grizzly features not only discounted drinks ($4 draft, $8 pitcher, and a $9 Bear Crush), but food: there will be free hot dogs during the evening. Without skipping a beat, later that night is a Valentineā€™s Day Stop Light Party 10 p.m. with DJs. They’ll have green, yellow, or red stickers so your crush can see if you’re available. Thereā€™s no cover for either.

Bunker

This Valentineā€™s Day, Bunker is turning tradition on its head with F*CK CUPID, a high-energy celebration for those over the holiday hype. Whether you’re flying solo or just want to skip the clichĆ©s, enjoy an unforgettable night with a special performance by a to-be-announced local drag queen and a dynamic set by Miscalculated. With free entry for singles and just a $5 cover for couples, it’s the perfect chance to dance the night away without the romance-themed distractions.

District Eagle

Join District Eagle this Valentineā€™s Day for Leather Lovers Gear Night, an inclusive event for all members of the leather community. DJ Jason James will provide the beats throughout the night, and guests wearing gear can enjoy 10% off drinks until midnight. Whether you’re single, taken, or in a situationship, everyone is welcome to celebrate in a welcoming, gear-friendly environment.

Number Nine

Nine is also launching a new event, titled Single Mingle, a singles mixer, the event will rotate theme for differing tastes. This first event takes place on Feb. 13, 7-9 p.m., upstairs, for those interested in dating queer men. Tickets are $15 and include a complimentary first drink plus ice breakers. On Thursday, Feb. 27, along with DC Gay Girls+, Nine will host a Single Mingle event for those interested in dating in the Sapphic community.

Additionally, Uproar will host a ā€œCupid Undiesā€ event on Feb. 13 with cocktail specials; Licht is offering a ā€œDate Nightā€ special that includes two cocktails, two glasses of Champagne, and a cheese board for $35; and gay-owned Wunder Gartenā€™s event on Feb. 14 is apres-ski themed with drinks like Love Potion and Cupidā€™s Arrow.

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