Connect with us

a&e features

QUEERY: Regina Jun

The new GLIFAA president answers 20 gay questions

Published

on

Regina Jun, gay news, Washington Blade

Regina Jun (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Regina Jun prides herself on being the first bisexual, Asian-American GLIFAA president in the organization’s 23-year history.

Formerly Gays and Lesbians in Foreign Affairs Agencies, GLIFAA, a non-profit, voluntary membership organization, represents LGBT personnel, their families and allies in the U.S. Department of State and other federal offices and agencies with foreign affairs components.

“As we have seen at our recent Out Ambassadors event, we have come a long way, yet our work is far from done,” Jun says. “Our global LGBT staff and their families want nothing more than to serve our country and I am honored to build on the past legacy of GLIFAA to advance workplace equality in our agencies.”

Jun, also a foreign service officer at the U.S. Agency for International Development, is a 38-year-old Chino Hills, Calif., native who has lived in Korea, Paraguay, Turkey, Sweden and elsewhere. She’s also traveled to about 45 countries. She came to Washington four years ago for her job with USAID.

She is married to Chris (a man), her partner of three years (she declines to give his last name). They live in Southwest D.C. Jun enjoys hiking, cooking and travel in her free time.

 

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

Since college. My mom was definitely the hardest person to tell initially. Being out of the closet seems to be a never-ending process because bisexuality is something that is still confusing to a lot of people.

 

Who’s your LGBT hero?

Margaret Cho. She paved the way in mainstream America with a message that being Asian, woman and queer is OK.

 

What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present? 

Monthly GLIFAA happy hour. It’s a great way to catch up with my friends, meet new people, check out a new venue or visit old favorites.

 

Describe your dream wedding.

My very own back in November — small but really fun and personal celebration with family and friends at a lodge with a big fireplace in the mountains.

 

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?

Democracy, human rights and governance. Too often, we allow systems to fail and people to become marginalized.

 

What historical outcome would you change?

Nothing. We learn better from our mistakes and I think we just need to do a better job at learning faster and not repeating similar mistakes.

 

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

David Hasselhoff performing on top of the Berlin Wall. Did I just date myself?

 

On what do you insist?

Integrity

 

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

A letter signed by 125 members of Congress supporting equality for LGBT Foreign Service families, and of course, the Blade article about it!

 

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

“Moving: Misadventures of a Global Citizen”

 

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

I am thankful for all the life experiences that my sexuality allowed me and I wouldn’t trade it for anything else.

 

What do you believe in beyond the physical world? 

Soul. We each have something that connects us and makes us want a better world for all living beings.

 

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

First, thank you for having done so much of the hard work. Progress will be easier when there are more of us and the only way to get more people to care about the issue is by being inclusive.

 

What would you walk across hot coals for?

Dinner with Gandhi or Harvey Milk.

 

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

Stereotypes are all absurd, but bisexuals being seen as not trustworthy, promiscuous and dirty is personally hurtful to me.

 

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?

“But I’m a Cheerleader.” It cheers me up.

 

What’s the most overrated social custom?

“Ladies first.” People should just be courteous to each other.

 

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

Nobel Peace Prize. Why not dream big?

 

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

Each person has a potential to make a difference in other people’s lives.

 

Why Washington?

The people! I have random moments of amazing connections. When I got a call confirming that I got my USAID job, I broke out in a little happy dance in front of Macy’s. When I explained to the security guard what had just happened, she was so happy for me, she did a happy dance with me. It was great!

Advertisement
FUND LGBTQ JOURNALISM
SIGN UP FOR E-BLAST

a&e features

D.C.’s most eligible LGBTQ singles

Meet your match in our annual survey just in time for Valentine’s Day

Published

on

Each year, the Blade seeks our readers’ help in identifying the most eligible local LGBTQ singles. Just in time for Valentine’s Day, we present this year’s list.

Matthew Koerber

(Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Age: 33

Occupation: Realtor

How do you identify?: Gay

What are you looking for in a mate? Someone accomplished, compassionate, and with a compatible sense of humor and set of values.

Biggest turn off: Green text messages

Biggest turn on: Someone who knows their way around the kitchen

Hobbies: Entertaining friends, singing in the car, and playing my guitar.

What is your biggest goal for 2023?: Finally take my mom on that trip to Paris.

Pets, kids, or neither?: I plead the fifth

Could you date someone whose political views differ from your own?: Within reason

Celebrity crush: Chris Hemsworth

Name one obscure fact about yourself: Will moonwalk after a few drinks.


Kelsey Watson

(Photo by Briana Smith)

Age: 28

Occupation: Nonprofit professional

How do you identify?: As a Black queer cis-woman

What are you looking for in a mate? I enjoy being around people who are funny and curious. I connect best with folks who have a shared sense of humour and can hold a conversation with just about anyone. I also prefer those who have some level of experience with nonmonogamy.

Biggest turn off: Fatphobia and hot breath

Biggest turn on: Kindness, banter, eye contact, and being fine

Hobbies: I spend my non-work time doing beer education, making elaborate meals for myself, gardening, and spending time with friends.

What is your biggest goal for 2023?: To start running my own beer education experiences, and to fold my laundry as soon as it comes out of the dryer.

Pets, kids, or neither?: Neither

Could you date someone whose political views differ from your own?: Absolutely the fuck not.

Celebrity crush: Raven Saunders, the very fine track and field Olympian. Somebody set me up.

Name one obscure fact about yourself: I like to hunt. I’m new to the sport and would love to find folks in the area to go out with.


Barbi Lopez

(Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Age: 30

Occupation: Bar manager/bartender

How do you identify?: She/her

What are you looking for in a mate? Someone who is emotionally intelligent, adventurous, ambitious, spiritual, and wants to grow together (in every aspect).

Biggest turn off: Immaturity

Biggest turn on: A submissive dom

Hobbies: Pilates, traveling, reading, writing poetry, and anything in nature!

What is your biggest goal for 2023?: Travel back home to Argentina to see my family

Pets, kids, or neither?: A cat my son names Bruno

Could you date someone whose political views differ from your own?: Depends

Celebrity crush: Kehlani


Philip Pannell

(Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Age: 72

Occupation: Non-profit executive director

How do you identify?: Gay

What are you looking for in a mate? An active advocate for social, political and economic progress.

Biggest turn off: Lack of engagement with community issues

Biggest turn on: Commitment to community progress

Hobbies: Community volunteerism and playing bridge

What is your biggest goal for 2023?: Helping to end violence and statehood for DC

Pets, kids, or neither?: Neither

Could you date someone whose political views differ from your own?: Highly improbable but not impossible

Celebrity crush: I cannot have a crush on someone I have not personally met

Name one obscure fact about yourself: I watch Fox News


Michael Wolfe

(Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Age: 43

Occupation: Recruiter

How do you identify?: Gay

What are you looking for in a mate? Someone who is independent, spontaneous, low drama and an open and honest communicator with a sense of humor.

Biggest turn off: Selfishness, pretentious, disrespectful of others, takes things they shouldn’t too seriously

Biggest turn on: Collaborative, inclusive, cares about others as much as they care about themselves, solid communication skills, not required but bonus points if you appreciate Coke Zero over Diet Coke and love Chipotle as well!

Hobbies: I love to travel and have a long list of places in the world I want to go, and would want someone willing to come on that adventure with me, even if that means hopping on a plane spontaneously tomorrow at the last minute. Enjoy exploring DC (theater, concerts, special events etc.), weekend brunching with friends, and playing social LGBTQIA+ kickball.

What is your biggest goal for 2023?: Continue to live life to the fullest both personally and professionally while surrounding myself with good, positive people.

Pets, kids, or neither?: I love dogs (had a dog for 13 years who passed a few years ago), open to considering another one (or two!) someday.

Could you date someone whose political views differ from your own?: Yes, up to a point

Celebrity crush: Jay Hernandez, Chris Evans, Patrick Mahomes

Name one obscure fact about yourself: I’ve lived in 18 different apartments/homes in my ~21 years living in the DC metro area – as you can tell, I’m definitely not afraid of moving.


Mel May

(Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Age: 42

Occupation: Recruiting leader

How do you identify?: Queer

What are you looking for in a mate? Someone who is creative, has a dark sense of humor, is grounded, leads with an authentic heart, and appreciates the little moments in life.

Biggest turn off: Lack of empathy, curiosity, adventurous spirit

Biggest turn on: Someone who lives their life out loud and takes risks with their dreams. Is confident and passionate in a relationship. Can hang with witty and weird jokes. Oh, and if they can cook!

Hobbies: I’m a writer at heart. Obsessed with resell, thrift, and consignment objects. Have always loved trying new, creative projects to include crocheting, DIY miniature kits, painting, publishing my own memoir. Always up for exploring and can walk around a city or trail for hours absorbing the experience.

What is your biggest goal for 2023?: Honestly, to be super present with the people I care about and love. It’s been a rough few years and it’s made me truly appreciate how precious our time is together.

Pets, kids, or neither?: No kids. No pets right now — but you’ll hear me talk about my pup who was so sassy & funny (miss my lil guy). Right now, I live vicariously through my friends’ pets.

Could you date someone whose political views differ from your own?: No, that’s just too loaded these days. Could be friends and have respectful conversations, but I don’t have the space for debate in my deeper relationships.

Celebrity crush: Winona Ryder was my first, and still is my biggest crush.

Name one obscure fact about yourself: I was a finalist for the “Tila Tequila” show. Don’t judge me — just knew I was auditioning for a queer reality dating show. *smacks forehead*


Elizabeth Falcon

(Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Age: 40

Occupation: Non-profit executive director

How do you identify?: Queer

What are you looking for in a mate? I like to laugh, process the world from the big to the tiny, and collaborate. I want someone who wants to join me in that.

Biggest turn off: Being rude to service workers

Biggest turn on: Direct communication, expression of desires, confidence, playfulness. Know your value and tell me about mine.

Hobbies: Biking around town, illegally swimming in the Potomac, listening to too many podcasts, the Libby app, planting perennials, starting a garden then forgetting to water it, baking when I have the patience to clean the kitchen after, coordinating my friends to plan meals together

What is your biggest goal for 2023?: Living with patience (see next question)

Pets, kids, or neither?: I have a one-and-a-half year-old kiddo I’m raising on my own. I also live with a cat, but the cat is my roommate’s.

Could you date someone whose political views differ from your own?: There’s a wide spectrum of what this means, but I wouldn’t date someone who I fundamentally didn’t share agreement about the problems with white supremacy, capitalism, and the impacts of gentrification in DC. TL;DR probably no.

Celebrity crush: Janelle Monae, Mae Martin, E.R Fightmaster, Sara Ramirez

Name one obscure fact about yourself: I grew up on a dairy farm


Chloe Thompson

(Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Age: 25

Occupation: Community Manager at TPSS Co-op

How do you identify?: Bisexual/queer woman

What are you looking for in a mate? Someone who is intensely smart, non-secular, building/involved in community, confident, and humble, very sexy, good dancer, curious about the world, a futurist, tall, a defined sense of personal style, and very funny.

Biggest turn off: Using Siri or Alexa (ever), drinking alcohol (I’m Muslim), being cynical or pessimistic, not talkative, being stingy, lacking imagination and refusing to dance!

Biggest turn on: A person who is totally in love with the world, for the good and the bad. Also, beautiful hands.

Hobbies: Reading critical theory and science fiction, yoga, watching and learning about film, writing, reading tarot, praying, learning rock climbing, going to museums, cooking excellent food 

What is your biggest goal for 2023?: Create intentional Black and Brown community. Be amazed by the goodness of life, daily.

Pets, kids, or neither?: I have neither, but I want 3 daughters and 2 dogs. Ready to get started creating my semi-big family whenever

Could you date someone whose political views differ from your own?: Yeah! As long as you have an inherent distrust of the state, we’re good to go.

Celebrity crush: Kehlani. Real ones know.

Name one obscure fact about yourself: I’m secretly very bashful.


Maria Miller

(Photo by @itsjacqill)

Age: 31

Occupation: Bartender, produce slinger, sandwich artisan

How do you identify?: Dyke

What are you looking for in a mate? A genuinely nice and kind person. That answer seems simple, but you’d be surprised. 

Biggest turn off: Bad tippers, rude customers, people who eat dry sandwiches.

Biggest turn on: Kind eyes, a nice smile, thoughtfulness, direct communication.

Hobbies: Thrifting, going to shows, making art, organizing in the community, getting tattoos

What is your biggest goal for 2023?: I have some big plans and that’s all I can really say!

Pets, kids, or neither?: A dog named Gravy

Could you date someone whose political views differ from your own?: That doesn’t seem smart

Celebrity crush: Alive: Charli XCX and Yseult Onguenet, Not Alive: Selena and Aaliyah

Name one obscure fact about yourself: I have two baby teeth!


Al Castillo

(Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Age: 22

Occupation: Research specialist

How do you identify?: Queer trans man

What are you looking for in a mate? Someone who is emotionally mature, willing to be spontaneous and willing to venture into the world together, but also able to enjoy a quiet day inside watching our favorite cartoon with our pets cuddled next to us on the couch.

Biggest turn off: Being out of touch with the local community and disrespecting physical and emotional boundaries.

Biggest turn on: Taking initiative and being comfortable acting silly and goofy!

Hobbies: Dancing like I am lip-syncing for my life, playing Nintendo and classic arcade games, cocktail making, and spending time with my loved ones.

What is your biggest goal for 2023?: I am beginning my fitness journey by going to the gym more often and becoming more active. I also started learning Spanish this year, so I am hoping to improve my Spanish speaking and listening skills throughout the year.

Pets, kids, or neither?: I have a dog named Dana Scully and my roommate Siena has a kitten named Fox Mulder, just like the characters from the X-Files.

Could you date someone whose political views differ from your own?: No

Celebrity crush: Patrick Dempsey and Rina Sawayama

Name one obscure fact about yourself: I am double-jointed and I can do a jump split (give me some time to stretch though, it’s been a while)


Aurora Lloyd

(Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Age: 30

Occupation: Entertainer/Entrepreneur/Activist

How do you identify?: Transsexual woman

What are you looking for in a mate? Someone who wants commitment and understands what it means to build a foundation and grow. Has emotional intelligence and is in therapy. Wants the most out of life. And it doesn’t hurt if you are a cutie too!

Biggest turn off: Willful ignorance, blatant disrespect, and judgmental people

Biggest turn on: Intelligence emotional and mental! I love nerds being one myself. Knows how to love and treat Black women.

Hobbies: Video games, anime, reading books, making music, watching movies/shows, traveling, hanging with friends and family, napping, going out to eat, and museums

What is your biggest goal for 2023?: To release my new music and perform, travel, and increase my income.

Pets, kids, or neither?: I have one cat, no biological kids but open to having some but I do have five “queer” kids, lol.

Could you date someone whose political views differ from your own?: I would be open to it, but it just depends on what particular views because politics are not just one vacuum from normal having history with working on the Hill, there are layers.

Celebrity crush: Michael B. Jordan and Tyler James Williams

Name one obscure fact about yourself: I really have a thing for archery


Andrew Bunting

(Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Age: 34

Occupation: Higher education administration/bartending

How do you identify?: Gay

What are you looking for in a mate? Someone who is authentic, witty, driven, empathetic, intelligent, and adventurous. I’m looking for someone who understands the importance of self-care, and also knows how to both work and play hard.

Biggest turn off: My biggest turn off is unwanted pressure. The quickest way to make me no longer interested is to try to constantly pressure me to do something. The moment that I feel that type of pressure I start to feel smothered and I lose all interest.

Biggest turn on: Confidence, decisiveness, and a drive to enjoy life. A great smile and being a good kisser doesn’t hurt either!

Hobbies: My interests are really varied, and range from enjoying a day visiting local wineries to catching a movie with friends. Bartending (formerly at Cobalt and now at JR.’s) also takes up a lot of my weekend time, and is, for me, less of a job and more of a hobby.

What is your biggest goal for 2023?: My biggest goal for 2023 is to strive for balance and be intentional about how I use my time. I want to make sure that I am focusing on the right things for the right reasons. For me, that means making sure that I’m connecting with my family and friends (and potential love interests), focusing on my career, and making sure I still have enough time for self-care.

Pets, kids, or neither?: I don’t have a pet now, but I’m open both dogs and cats (I grew up with cats and have lived with dogs). Kids are not in my future.

Could you date someone whose political views differ from your own?: An interesting question, and I really think it is more about one’s fundamental values than political affiliation. Would I date someone who disagrees with me about specific policies? Sure! But would I date someone who denies things like climate science, vaccines, or the fundamental rights of others? Definitely not.

Celebrity crush: Zac Efron (back off, he’s mine!)

Name one obscure fact about yourself: I’ve never, in my life, eaten Taco Bell (and I don’t plan to)


Javen Marquise Kostrzewa

(Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Age: 30

Occupation: JD/MBA student at Georgetown

How do you identify?: Bisexual

What are you looking for in a mate? Someone who is emotionally intelligent, career driven and wants to have a family and get married. If you can make me laugh that is the key to my heart.

Biggest turn off: Being rude to service staff; surface-level interactions, and fear of commitment.

Biggest turn on: Ambition, sense of humor and dedication to pursuit of life balance (mental, physical, and emotional health)

Hobbies: I love to work out and am that weird person who enjoys cardio. Outside of work and the gym I like playing video games, watching anime, and binging TV series (financial crime docs are my favorite).

What is your biggest goal for 2023?: Finish law school strong, but make more time for social activities.

Pets, kids, or neither?: Both! I absolutely love dogs (allergic to cats) especially big dogs (Great Dane is my dream dog). I love kids — my nieces and nephews are bright lights in my life. I want to eventually adopt (I grew up in foster care and was adopted.)

Could you date someone whose political views differ from your own?: It depends on where they differ. If we differ on civil rights and equality, that’s non-negotiable.

Celebrity crush: Michael B. Jordan

Name one obscure fact about yourself: I sang a tribute for Bill Withers as part of the Songwriters Hall of Fame project. (Bill was hilarious!)

Continue Reading

a&e features

Autistic poet’s work layered with ‘multiple levels of awareness’

Leslie McIntosh on coming out and learning he is neurodiverse

Published

on

Leslie McIntosh

(Editor’s Note: One in four people in America has a disability, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention. Queer and disabled people have long been a vital part of the LGBTQ community. Take two of the many queer history icons who were disabled: Michelangelo is believed to have been autistic. Marsha P. Johnson, who played a heroic role in the Stonewall Uprising, had physical and psychiatric disabilities. Today, Deaf/Blind fantasy writer Elsa Sjunneson, actor and bilateral amputee Eric Graise and Kathy Martinez, a blind, Latinx lesbian, Assistant Secretary of Labor for Disability Employment Policy for the Obama administration, are only a few of the numerous queer and disabled people in the LGBTQ community. Yet, the stories of this vital segment of the queer community have rarely been told. In its series “Queer, Crip and Here,” the Blade will tell some of these long un-heard stories.)

Before he could even read, Leslie McIntosh knew he wanted to be a writer. “My Dad got me this little desk with a drawer in it,” McIntosh, 38, who is Black, male presenting, male attracted and autistic, said in a telephone interview.  “I was learning the alphabet when I was two.”

McIntosh, who was born in Newark, N.J. and grew up in  Atlantic City, had a precocious ability to decode words. “I would scribble in this notebook until I learned how to write and form words,” he said.

This scribbling – this desire to be a writer – wasn’t just a childhood thing for McIntosh. The writing bug stuck to him. Today, McIntosh is a poet and “fictionist” whose work has received national recognition. He has been awarded residencies and fellowships from Breadloaf, Callaloo, Millay Arts, The Watering Hole, Zoeglossia and other programs.

His poetry has appeared in “Beloit Poetry Journal,” “Foglifter,” “Obsidian,” the forthcoming anthology “In the Tempered Dark: Contemporary Poets Transcending Elegy” and other publications. He is an assistant poetry editor at Newfound.

McIntosh, who earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology from Montclair State University in 2006 and a Psy.D. from the Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine in 2019, is also a psychologist with a private practice. He lives, he wrote in an email to the Blade, “on the stolen land of the Munsee Lenape, currently known as Hudson County, NJ, USA.”

This reporter read with McIntosh (and Avra Wing) last fall at the Geraldine R. Dodge Poetry Festival. McIntosh is a vibrant performer with a mesmerizing presence. (The reading was an event held by Zoeglossia, a fellowship program for disabled poets.)

In a wide-ranging conversation, McIntosh talked with the Blade about coming out, learning he was autistic, poetry and Bayard Rustin.

Growing up was complicated for McIntosh. “People would read — understand — that I was queer and on the [autism] spectrum,” he said, “before I even knew what that meant.”

There was a lot of repression in the early part of his life. “A lot of what you think about coming out didn’t happen to me,” McIntosh said.

McIntosh wasn’t diagnosed as autistic until five years ago. But, looking back, he reflected that he was different from neurotypical people.

“I would invent these alternative realities in my brain,” McIntosh said, “I would give these people sexual adventures and things like that.”

McIntosh would compartmentalize. “I wouldn’t attribute what was happening to me,” he said. “It was a lot of world building about what having a boyfriend would look like.”

College was a new start for McIntosh. There, his universe expanded. He met people, who he said, were “separate from the toxicity of high school.”

The characters in the alternative realities in his brain couldn’t keep up with the intensity and speed of the people he was interacting with in real life. “I had to experience things in real time,” McIntosh said, “It had to be me. That’s when my coming out began.”

Being queer in the early 2000s wasn’t easy for McIntosh. He didn’t feel quite at home in Southern New Jersey. “It’s hard being gay anywhere,” he said, “especially, where I come from.”

Even a college campus in the aughts wasn’t perfectly safe for a Black male. How do I frame myself? Who do I tell? When do I tell them, McIntosh wondered.   

McIntosh went into psychology because he wanted to be of service. “Here’s a secret,” he said, “what’s helped me to be successful wasn’t the degrees I’ve earned.”

“What’s helped me clinically and humanly,” McIntosh said, “to relate as one person to another are things I learned outside [of his degrees].”

McIntosh can evaluate and diagnose his patients. “I can quote unquote treat them and bill insurance companies,” he said, “but that isn’t a lot of my practice.”McIntosh works with patients to help them conceptualize their lives and what their needs are. “I feel like a lot of therapists being directive discourages patients from relying on their own wisdom,” he said.

McIntosh was going through his training in psychology when he began to think he might be autistic. He felt a bit shameful about this because of the way the behavior of autistic people is often pathologized.

“They treat the behavior of autistic people – such as stimming – as needing treatment,” McIntosh said, “they create a behavior plan to make them stop doing it.”

Being diagnosed as autistic was freeing for McIntosh. It gave him a feeling of control. “I can advocate for myself,” he said. “I can say I have this condition. This is unfair. We need to have a conversation.”

Race has always been at the intersection of his life as a Black, queer, autistic man, McIntosh said. While he was earning his Psy.D, the one Black faculty member in the program left it. “After that it was all white hetero cisgender people,” he said.

Thankfully, his family has always been supportive of him. “I’ve been out to them forever,” McIntosh said.

McIntosh got into poetry when he was preparing to go away to his first year of college. He became entranced by “Def Poetry Jam.” “I saw myself in it,” he said, “looking at that screen, I knew I was a part of it.”

Poetry makes his neurodivergence livable for McIntosh. “It gives me a place where it isn’t something I have to navigate around or over,” he said, “It gets center stage. Without poetry, it would be a burden.”

Every creative person has a quirk about them, he added.

“Leslie McIntosh’s poems mean a great deal to me because of the original and even visceral way they navigate the personal and the historical,” Sheila Black, a poet and Zoeglossia co-founder, emailed the Blade. “Making abundant use of historical fact and context but always shaping this toward a personal lyrical vision.”

“The world of Leslie’s poems is layered with multiple levels of awareness – the double and even triple consciousness of race, sexuality, disability,” Black added. “His poetry is always animated by an acute sense of human vulnerability and the longing for a better, brighter more just world.”

When he was just out of college, McIntosh learned about Bayard Rustin, the queer, Black civil rights icon. “His existence blew my mind and my heart,” he said. “Here is this unsung civil rights hero – a mentor of Martin Luther King, Jr. Virtually unknown because he was Black and openly gay in the 1950s.”McIntosh wanted to know how this could be. Being a poet, he imagined a story. 

McIntosh wrote poems in the form of letters — “epistles” — from Bayard Rustin. For these poems, he created Imal, an imaginary character. “I didn’t want to be part of the story,” he said. “It was easier to imagine the story without me in it.”

Later, McIntosh thought leaving himself out of the story was due in part to his neurodivergence. “I was using Imal to create a version of myself that deserved to be loved,” he said, “and who cared back.”

“I had rooms of people fight for my coat, letters from Martin Luther King with my name on them,” McIntosh writes in the voice of Bayard Rustin in his poem “Epistle: The Verisimilitude of Ruin,” “But that didn’t matter — I wanted a forgotten alley or a dim phone booth … Make believe you haven’t drowned at the drag of a man’s thinly carpeted thigh, the gravity of the smell.”

McIntosh isn’t interested in reading the poems he might have written if he’d been neurotypical. He’s proud to be neurodiverse. “I like the poet that I am,” he said, “I don’t think any other iteration of myself could have written these poems.”

Continue Reading

a&e features

The ultimate guide to queer holiday gift giving

Something for everyone, from charcuterie to an e-moped

Published

on

Drawing a blank on what to gift the queer loved ones on your holiday shopping list? Consider these thoughtful presents picked exclusively for your LGBTQ friends and family.


Mr. & Mr. Claus Mugs

Two glazed-ceramic Santas are better than one when you cop Sunny & Ted’s hand-painted Mr. and/or Mrs. cocoa mugs available in three blush-faced skin tones and two genders to accurately rep your festive-queer holiday cheer. SunnyAndTed.com, $27.50 each


Whiskey a Go Go 

Lift holiday spirits (in handsome drinkware, like Baccarat’s Harmonie Double Old-Fashioned Tumblers) by offering party guests a sampling of your home bar’s top-shelf reserves, like Blade & Bow’s Kentucky Straight Bourbon, Glendalough Pot Still Irish Whiskey, and Westward American Single Malt Stout Cask – a holy trinity all its own. ReserveBar.com, $48, $57, $91


Happy Hanukkah Tea Gift Set + Subarzsweets

VAHDAM India’s Hannukah-special assortment of luscious herbal, chai and black teas – paired with Subarzsweets’ handmade, small-batch biscotti-cookie hybrids (the lemon-thyme flavor is what the chef’s kiss emoji was meant for) – is the treat-yourself pick-me-up you’ll crave after eight crazy nights. Vahdam.com, $24; Subarzsweets.com, $45


America the Beautiful Annual Pass

One of your nice-listers resolving to travel more in the new year? Set them up for success with the National Parks & Federal Recreational Lands’ America the Beautiful annual pass, providing access for the holder (plus guests) to more than 2,000 federal sites in the United States, including parks, monuments, battlefields, protected wildlife refuges, stunning seashores, and more. Recreation.gov, $80


Yves Durif Grooming Set

Yves Durif didn’t reinvent the Italian-made, natural rubber resin petite brush and comb that bears his synonymous-with-style name, but he did make these luxury tools sexy AF so you can feel like a million bucks. YvesDurif.com, $105


Boarderie Charcuterie

A far cry from the shelf-stable meat-and-cheese gifts mom loaded up on at your local mall’s pop-up shop, Oprah-approved Boarderie charcuterie boards are chef-made daily and feature hand-selected artisan cheeses, meats, dried fruits, nuts and chocolates on keepsake Acacia platters. Hickory Farms could neverBoarderie.com$129-$239


Wagged Tails Custom ‘A-paw-rel’

Memorialize your loved ones’ recently passed pets with Wagged Tails’ custom-printed apparel and accessories, including T-shirts, tumblers, totes and mugs, emblazoned with their favorite heaven-sent smush-faces. Keep the Kleenex close. WaggedTails.com, $18-$67


Dough Bowl Candles

Drop a needle on Aunt Dolly’s holiday vinyl before lighting the wicks on Stroud’s Simply Southern dough bowl candles and you’ve got yourself an instant country Christmas. StroudSimplySouthernCo.com, $24-$79


Cantilever Toolbox

Utilitarianism is a hallmark of Japanese design, and Toyo’s handcrafted cantilever steel storage and tool boxes are no exception with two handy adjustable upper trays and eight removable dividers housed in a handsome, spacious shell deserving of double-takes. Placewares.com, $129


Habibi Santal Journey

Can’t go wrong with a fresh scent tucked under the tree or inside a stocking, and it doesn’t get any fresher (or spicier) than Habibi’s Santal Journey with notes of dry cedar wood, oud and sandalwood overtop wisps of crisp pear and precious orris. ForHabibi.com, $119


NQi GTS E-Moped

In sport mode, the NQi GTS e-moped’s top speed is a hair-straightening 50 mph thanks to a 60V26Ah Bosch motor, 4th-gen lithium battery tech, and a few body-shop elves who’ve watched “2 Fast 2 Furious” 2 many times. Niu.com, $TBD


Rotate Watchmaking Kit

Challenge your better-half gadget geek over holiday break with customizable Rotate watchmaking kits – available in easy, medium, and hard configurations – that come complete with parts, tools, and a user-friendly guide to keep the cursing at a Christian minimum. RotateWatches.com, $195-$225


Coravin x Keith Haring Wine Opener

Art and wine go to together like Saint Nick and snickerdoodles, which is why the Coravin x Keith Haring Timeless Six+ Artist Edition bottle opener – featuring the late artist’s iconic dancing figures in black and white – will look just as good on your dinner party tablescape as it will on display. Coravin.com, $350


Limited Edition Don Q Rum X Coquito NYC Drink Kit

Add a little Latin flavor to your living room Christmas film fest with a screening of Alfredo De Villa’s “Nothing Like the Holidays” and a traditional coquito with a Don Q kick in hand. The limited-edition collaboration kit between the rum maker and Latina-owned Coquito NYC comes with everything you need to mix it up, including coconut milk, spices, and a bottle of Reserva 7. DonQ.com, $75


Nuzzie Weighted Blanket

Dasher and Dancer will have to pull double duty delivering hefty, chunky Nuzzies, one-of-a-kind breathable, thermo regulating and sustainable weighted blankets (in holiday hues like rich rose and emerald green) for all your snowy-season snuggles. ShopNuzzie.com, $169-$329


(Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBTQ lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. Connect on Instagram @mikeyroxtravels.)

Continue Reading
Advertisement
Advertisement

Sign Up for Weekly E-Blast

Follow Us @washblade

Advertisement

Popular