Financial
Why pre-nups are not only for the rich and famous
Debunking myths of estate planning

In order to end your relationship, it will take a divorce with all its risks and rules.
This is the sixth in a series of seven articles to help you understand what you do know, don’t know and should know about estate planning.
You don’t have to be a Kardashian to need a prenuptial agreement. Here’s why. Many of us enter into marriages after years of successful earning and asset accumulation. Maybe you built a business. You may expect to inherit money. Maybe you’re really attached to the beach house you owned before you two met. Even though you may have been together for years, disparities in wealth, professional status, citizenship and age can all create issues. A pre-nup is a means for both of you to acknowledge what you bring into the marriage – and how what was once yours alone will be treated if you divorce or if one of you dies.
In the old days, unless you owned a home together, it was fairly easy to dissolve a relationship that didn’t work out. One of you could just move out. Marriage changes everything. Now in order to end your relationship, it will take a divorce with all its risks and rules. (This is also a potential issue for couples who have registered as D.C. Domestic Partners.)
Judges in divorce courts have great power to do what they think is “equitable” in terminating a marriage. They can divide up a couple’s assets in ways that they believe is fair. A court can also force the wealthier spouse to pay alimony to the less well-off spouse. I realize that the concept of paying alimony is foreign to most gay and lesbian people unless they have been married previously. But it is a real issue as some our marriages come to an inevitable end.
Getting married also changes the estate planning equation. If you are not married, there are absolutely no requirements about how much you might leave to your partner. Once you are married, there are significant restrictions that prevent you from disinheriting your spouse. In general, your spouse will be entitled to at least one-third of your assets when you die, whether or not that’s your actual plan.
Prenuptial agreements (and postnuptial agreements) are designed to provide predictability when couples split up or when one spouse dies. These agreements are designed to make your own rules to handle the three primary issues that I’ve just described: equitable distribution of assets, the award of alimony and marital share claims by a surviving spouse. Here is how they can work for you:
1. You, as a couple, get to decide how your assets would be divided if you ever separated. Many agreements start with the basic concept that whatever you brought into the relationship you should get to keep and the assets you both acquired jointly should be divided on a predetermined basis.
2. You – not the court – define the amount of alimony to be paid in the event of any separation, or whether alimony will be limited or not paid at all.
3. If you have reasons to leave money to someone other than your spouse when you die, your spouse will agree to that treatment in advance and not try to get more later.
In the Washington area, many people who don’t think of themselves as rich have acquired substantial assets through years of federal government service, such as large TSP accounts. They rely on the existence of those accounts for their eventual retirement. Losing half of that balance in a divorce might be devastating. The old saying that “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” is the guiding principle of premarital planning. It’s not unromantic. It’s just sensible.
(This column is not intended to provide legal advice, but only general guidance that may or may not be applicable to your specific situation.)
Larry Jacobs has helped hundreds of same-sex couples and LGBT singles in the Washington area protect their assets and loved ones through partnership planning. He is a partner at McMillan Metro, P.C. and has practiced law for 41 years. Learn more about Larry and his practice at PartnerPlanning.com.
Real Estate
With gas prices soaring again, a staycation is a good plan
Home can be your personal retreat and your own private resort
When airfare costs more than your monthly utility bill and a weekend road trip requires a second mortgage just to fill the gas tank, many homeowners are discovering an unexpected luxury: the staycation.
A staycation isn’t settling for less—it’s reaping the benefits of one of the biggest investments you can make: your home. Much more than a place to sleep, it’s your personal retreat, your gathering place and, with a little preparation, your very own private resort.
Whether you own a single-family home, a townhouse, or a condo, creating a memorable staycation starts with appreciating what made you fall in love with your property in the first place.
Start with a home refresh. Think about checking into a beautiful vacation rental. It’s spotless, organized, and inviting. You can recreate that same feeling by spending a day preparing your home before your staycation officially begins.
Clear away clutter, deep clean the bathrooms and kitchen, wash the windows, and put fresh linens on every bed – even if you’re not expecting guests. Fluff the pillows, light a favorite candle, and place fresh flowers on the table. These small touches instantly make your home feel more luxurious.
If your budget allows, hiring a professional cleaning service can be one of the best staycation perquisites you make. After all, vacation should begin the moment you wake up and not after you’ve spent the day scrubbing floors.
Treat your staycation like a real trip. Set away messages on your phone and out of office notices on your email. Skip unnecessary chores for a few days. Giving yourself permission to relax may be the most valuable part of the entire experience.
One of the greatest advantages homeowners have over travelers is private outdoor living space. Whether it’s a spacious backyard, a screened porch, a rooftop terrace, or a cozy condo balcony, these areas can become the centerpiece of your staycation.
Stringing lights and adding comfortable seating, colorful planters, and outdoor rugs can completely transform the atmosphere without spending thousands of dollars. Add a portable fire pit, a tabletop fountain, or a hammock, and suddenly your backyard starts competing with many resorts.
Host an evening cookout, organize a game night, invite neighbors over for dessert, or gather around the fire pit for conversation after sunset. These simple moments often become the memories we treasure most.
Inside, transform your family room into a home theater complete with popcorn and comfortable blankets. Turn your breakfast room into a morning coffee café. Designate a quiet reading corner where phones are prohibited. Create a spa-like bathroom with plush towels, candles, bath salts, and relaxing music.
One of the highlights of traveling is experiencing new food. Instead of dining out every night, create themed dinners inspired by your favorite destinations. Prepare homemade Italian pasta one evening, Caribbean grilled seafood another, or a backyard Texas barbecue over the weekend. For a touch of whimsy, dress the part.
Pair each meal with music and libations from the region and enjoy dinner outdoors whenever possible. Suddenly, your dining room becomes part of the vacation experience instead of just another place to eat.
Families with children can turn a staycation into an adventure by seeing their home through a child’s eyes. Set up a backyard camping experience with a tent, flashlights, and s’mores around the fire pit. Transform the living room into an indoor campground complete with sleeping bags and a movie under a blanket “fort.” Organize a backyard Olympics with relay races, water balloon tosses, scavenger hunts, or miniature golf using household items.
Encourage children to plan a family picnic in the backyard or on the patio, choose a theme for a movie marathon, or help prepare meals inspired by countries they’d like to visit someday. The goal is to create experiences your children will remember long after summer is over.
Enjoy the amenities you already pay for. Condominium communities and many planned neighborhoods offer amenities that residents often overlook.
Swimming pools, fitness centers, tennis and pickleball courts, walking trails, clubhouses, grilling stations, and community gardens are designed to enhance your lifestyle. During your staycation, make a point of exploring everything your community offers. You may discover you’ve been living beside your own private resort all along.
Real estate professionals often talk about resale value, appreciation, and return on investment. While those things certainly matter, there’s another return that’s harder to measure: the enjoyment you get from living in your home every day.
You don’t need a boarding pass to recharge. You don’t need a hotel reservation to make memories. Sometimes the perfect getaway is the one you already own.
Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her at [email protected] or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.
Real Estate
When buying a home, it’s decisions, decisions, decisions
Keeping notes on the process makes for an informed purchase
When looking to buy a home, there are lots of details to consider. Many of my clients would come to me and say, “Joe I want to buy a place, but I haven’t decided which neighborhood to buy in.” And the struggle was real. A few clients had everything decided from the color of the hallway walls to the cabinet handles and sometimes which three square blocks they wanted to look at.
But other clients were occasionally looking at properties in areas as distinct as Union Market/NOMA, Brookland, Logan Circle, and then we would even go across the river to look at a property in Shirlington or the Van Dorn areas of Virginia, which all have their own unique flavor and characteristics.
Sometimes clients would tell me, “I only want to look in Mount Pleasant or Adams Morgan.” Or, “don’t even show me any properties west of this street or south of that street.” My job wasn’t to convince people where to live. It was to just take the parameters they set for me and find as good of a property in that zone as I could, coordinate the showings and, if necessary, offer the strategy.
One can see that buyers often had more decisions to make than a seller. From a seller’s perspective, the house was where it was, and we just had to make the best of it. But working with a buyer could mean looking at five different neighborhoods, and then being a “thought partner” to help them figure out which were the top two or three areas they had seen, and then further distilling those down into what was available and weighing those options against each other.
One house could have the dream bathroom but also be located six blocks further from a Metro stop, walkable shopping and dining, and “just too far away from my friends.” Another house could have all the neighborhood options a client was looking for, but was just not in turnkey condition, and would require an additional $30,000 of upgrades once purchased to make it into the dream home they envisioned.
One activity I often asked buyers to do was to keep an active list in their heads of the properties they liked, and to keep a running rank of the top three. I often encouraged them to bring a notebook along on the journey where they could take notes and write down questions they thought of as they looked. It was an important decision, and sometimes the largest purchase of their lives. Why not take it a little seriously, and take notes? This could often help the buyer later when they felt it was time to decide.
The point here is, keeping a notebook handy can sometimes help a person with what feels like an overwhelming process. It provides a space to explore how one feels, jot down important details to remember, and then use that to make an informed decision.
Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with RLAH. Reach him at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].
Real Estate
Under-the-radar Delaware beach towns smart buyers are targeting
There are other options if Rehoboth prices are scaring you off
Look, we love Rehoboth. We will always love Rehoboth. Queer folks have been flocking there since the 1940s, and with scores of LGBTQ-owned businesses and a Pride calendar packed tighter than the boardwalk in July, “Rehomo” earned its crown fair and square.
But let’s be honest with each other: trying to buy property there right now feels a lot like trying to get a reservation at the one good restaurant in town on a Saturday in August. Everyone wants in, inventory is tighter than your swim trunks after Labor Day brunch, and the prices have officially entered “are you kidding me” territory.
So here’s a thought: What if you didn’t fight the crowd? What if, instead, you let Rehoboth keep doing its glorious, chaotic, glitter-bomb thing and you quietly built your beach life 15 minutes away for considerably less drama and considerably more square footage? Here are four towns ready for their close-up.
Lewes: The Charming Overachiever
Lewes is what happens when a beach town actually has its life together. Historic charm, walkability, proximity to Cape Henlopen State Park, less crowding, and a strong year-round community. Unlike towns that turn into ghost towns after Labor Day, Lewes maintains a real community all year long, which is more than we can say for some situationships.
And right now, the market is practically begging you to make a move. It’s one of the most desirable and stable markets in the county — built for buyers thinking long-term, not flippers, and Sussex County overall has flipped into genuine buyer’s market territory for the first time in years. Translation: you finally get to be the one with leverage.
Bethany Beach: My Personal Pick
Full disclosure: I own in Bethany. So consider this section a little biased — and also the most honest thing I’ll tell you in this whole article.
When I drive down from D.C., I’m not looking for more of D.C. I love this city, but I also love leaving it — and yes, some of the people in it too (you know who you are, and so do I). Bethany gives me that full exhale. It’s quiet in the way that actually means something: fewer crowds, slower mornings, a soundtrack that’s mostly waves instead of nightlife. It leans hard into its “quiet resort” reputation, with low property taxes and a limited geographic footprint, and it is not the least bit sorry about it.
But quiet doesn’t mean isolated. I’ve got a genuinely excellent food scene nearby, real shopping, and a string of charming neighboring beach towns — and when I do want a taste of Rehoboth’s energy, it’s a short, easy drive away. I get to choose my dose of chaos instead of living inside it.
And here’s the part that matters most for this article: the price. If you’ve looked at Rehoboth listings and quietly closed the tab in despair, I need you to hear this — you can absolutely afford a beach house. It just doesn’t have to be in Rehoboth. Bethany’s average home value sits around $848,592, which is still real money, no question — but it buys you more house, more land, and more peace than the same budget gets you closer to the boardwalk. Bethany is welcoming too, just without Rehoboth’s decades of built-in queer institutional history — and for plenty of us, that trade-off is more than worth it.
Fenwick Island: Small Town, Big Flex
Fenwick rarely gets mentioned and, frankly, it should be insulted. It’s tiny, it’s quiet, and it has beach access without the carnival energy. The market data tends to lump it in with Bethany, where single-family oceanfront homes clear $1 million while entry-level condos start in the $600s — proof that “under-the-radar” doesn’t mean “bargain bin,” it means “fewer people fighting you for it.”
South Bethany: For the Boat Gays
Some of us want sand between our toes. Others want a private dock and a boat named something deeply unserious. South Bethany’s canal communities are built for the latter — water access on both sides, fewer crowds, and a lifestyle that says, “I have a captain’s hat and I am not afraid to wear it.”
The Math Works in Your Favor Now
Here’s the part that should really get your attention: Sussex County’s median sold price has dropped to $440,000, down 3.3% year-over-year, and buyers are routinely closing around 88 cents on the dollar compared to asking price. That’s a far cry from the unhinged bidding wars of 2021 and 2022, when overpaying was basically a competitive sport. Inventory across the county sits at nearly 2,500 active listings — the most of any county in Delaware, meaning you actually get to be picky for once. Revolutionary, we know.
And no, choosing one of these towns doesn’t mean leaving your people behind. Sussex Pride serves the entire county, not just Rehoboth proper, and CAMP Rehoboth’s resources extend well beyond town limits too. You’re not exiling yourself to the suburbs of queerness — you’re just getting a bigger kitchen, a quieter porch, and a much shorter line for the bathroom.
Add in the fact that Delaware has no estate tax and some of the lowest property taxes around, savings that genuinely add up over a retirement horizon, and the case writes itself. Rehoboth will always be the beating, sequined heart of queer beach culture in Delaware. But if you’ve been telling yourself a beach house isn’t in the cards — I’m here to tell you it absolutely is. It just might be 15 minutes south, with your own quiet porch, your own salt air, and considerably more room to breathe.
Have a real estate question or Rehoboth market tip? Reach out to [email protected] for LGBTQ-friendly real estate resources in the Rehoboth area.
Justin Noble is a Realtor licensed in D.C., Maryland, and Delaware with Monument Sotheby’s International Realty. Reach him at [email protected] or 302-897-7499.
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