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Our big gay wedding

Local couples share stories from their special day

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gay wedding, refund, gay news, Washington BladeThinking about popping the question to your significant other? Nervous about planning a wedding? We asked local couples to share their wedding day memories, which just might put you at ease.

Katy Ray and Erica Sansing

(Photo courtesy Lola Snaps Photography)

Katy Ray is PR and communications manager for LGBTQutie.com. Erica Sansing owns Sansing Studios, a photo studio.

When and where were you married? Erica and I were married at the Cathedral of the Incarnation, an Episcopal cathedral in downtown Baltimore. We opted for a religious ceremony, as our faith is so important to us, and we wanted to take our vows in front of God, family and friends. Given that most Christian-based faiths still haven’t caught up to the true measures of Jesus’ teachings, we had to opt for an Episcopal marriage ceremony, as the Episcopal church is one of few who will wed gay couples. We had our reception at the Rusty Scupper, overlooking the Baltimore harbor. It was breathtaking.

What was the most difficult element of your wedding to achieve? I think first and foremost, having two people come together to make about a thousand decisions is a great exercise in achieving communication skills and compatibility. Throughout the wedding process, we learned to compromise on any and everything. Of course it was difficult to achieve the perfect day, but we did. Finding the venue was pretty easy, and the reception is so much easier when you work in house with the caterer.

Did the overall heteronormativity of the industry (e.g. attire, invitations, cakes, etc.) pose any problem? If so, what? Absolutely. When filling out questionnaires online, for anything from flowers to wedding registries, there were many surveys where only “wife” and “groom” were listed and you couldn’t put “wife and wife” for both. I am impressed with Macy’s, however, as they had provided the options we needed. We were also very impressed with the Rusty Scupper. Michelle Rigby, their wedding event coordinator, was incredibly supportive and affirming. She made us feel like queens and treated our big day with such respect and enthusiasm. Sadly, we did not have this same experience with some local businesses.

Another issue that pops up is buying wedding decor. Most decorations come in sets of “husband and wife” or “groom and bride” so we would have had to buy doubles of some things to have “wife and wife” seat signs, etc. Luckily for us, my sister is a crafter, and she was able to make our wedding decorations and provide that level of visibility in decorations.

Any resistance or weirdness from family/friends? I don’t know many marriages where family resistance doesn’t exist. But in terms of the wedding, my wife’s family was very supportive and welcoming, and my sister and her family were extremely supportive. Unfortunately, my parents were not in attendance and are not a present part of my life. My best friend Circon walked me down the aisle and stood by my side, which was infinitely more meaningful than the patriarchal tradition of a father “giving” his daughter away. The whole notion behind that is rooted in heteronormativity, patriarchy and woman’s inferiority. That’s not to say women shouldn’t be walked down the aisle by their fathers, but for me it made more sense for the person who was there for me most in my life to walk me down, and I have no ill-resolved feelings about that person not being my father.

What advice would you give other D.C.-area same-sex couples planning to wed? 

1. Communicate: It’s really important to listen to each other and make sure you communicate your needs. Have negotiables and non-negotiables, and know what those are going into the conversation. Our wedding was our perfect compromise, and I couldn’t be happier.

2. Budget: You really want to make sure you have a general figure for what you’re going to spend. My wife and I decided to purchase a house before our wedding, because we felt that having a home for our lifetime was substantially more important than spending too much money on one day of celebration.

3. Try to have fun and cherish the good times: Wedding planning should be fun! Don’t let anyone rob you of that excitement; not family, ignorant wedding industry workers or anyone.

4. Find a place that offers you inside catering and a menu at price per person. It saves you so much headache on the day of.

5. Your wedding is for YOU, not anyone else.

Chris and Chase Maggiano

(Photo by John Jack Gallagher)

Chris is president of Cormier & Co., a consulting firm; Chase is executive director of the Washington Chorus.

When and where were you married? Sept. 4, 2016 at Chase’s family home in Middleburg, Va.

What was the most difficult element of your wedding to achieve?  We wanted to make sure we enjoyed the day and also that it was unique to us. This took a lot of effort but paid off in the end. It was truly the best day of our lives.

Did the overall heteronormativity of the industry pose any problem? If so, what? The industry is shockingly heteronormative and gendered. We only used vendors that acknowledged that they have same-sex couple clients and encouraged those who didn’t get our business to change their approach.

Any resistance or weirdness from family/friends? Chris’s mom found a surrogate before we even cut the cake (a cousin’s girlfriend), so there’s that. We’ll probably adopt in a few years but it was still funny.

What advice would you give other D.C.-area same-sex couples planning to wed? There’s a lot of external stress and pressure that comes at you when planning your wedding. Decide what one or two things are most important to you and then let them guide what the day will be for you.

Susan Messina and Maryann Krayer

(Photo courtesy of the couple)

Susan Messina is director of development and communications for Iona Senior Services. Maryann Krayer is a school psychologist in Charles County, Md. They’ve been together since 1991.

When and where were you married? We were legally married in January 2013 at our congregation, River Road Unitarian Universalist Congregation in Bethesda, Md. We had already had a commitment ceremony there in 2007, when it was not legal, but that was when we had our big ceremony. The 2013 ceremony was a big hit, an all-church event where five couples participated, four of whom repeated their vows from their legal weddings in other jurisdictions. We were the only couple to actually get married at that time. River Road hosted a big potluck and it was followed by all-generation dancing. People still talk about it as the best party River Road ever threw.

What was the most difficult element of your wedding to achieve? I will only speak about our commitment ceremony since that is the most “true wedding-like” of our two events. The most difficult element for us honestly was just the massive project management of the event. We had about 80 guests and many of them were from out of town, so we had to provide them with a lot of hand holding.

Did the overall heteronormativity of the industry pose any problem? If so, what? We had no problems with the caterer or stationer. We did our own flowers. I borrowed a friend’s dress and my partner wore a suit she already owned. The only misstep was at our Dupont Circle hotel where we stayed the night. We had a problem with our room and when I called to ask for a new one I mentioned it was my honeymoon. They accommodated us and then sent champagne to the new room. The funny thing was they sent it to Mr. and Mrs. Krayer because my wife had made the reservations in her name and even though it was Dupont Circle, they made the assumption we were a man and woman.

Any resistance or weirdness from family/friends? We had no weirdness. My parents even asked if they could invite their best couple friend.

What advice would you give other D.C.-area same-sex couples planning to wed?  Make a budget and stick to it. Think about who you want to be there the most.

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Memorial for groundbreaking bisexual activist set for May 2

Loraine Hutchins remembered as a ‘force of nature’

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Loraine Hutchins died last year. (File photo courtesy of Hutchins)

The Montgomery County Pride Center will host a celebration honoring the life and legacy of Loraine Hutchins, Ph.D., on May 2. People are invited to attend the onsite memorial or a livestream event. The on-site event will begin at 10 a.m. with a meet-and-greet mixer before moving into a memorial service around the theme “Loraine a Force of Nature!” at 11 a.m., a panel talk at 12 p.m., break out sessions for artists, academics, and activists to build on her legacy at 1 p.m. and a closing reception at 2 p.m. 

Attendees are encouraged to register for the on-site memorial gathering or the livestreamed memorial. The goal of this event is also to collect stories and memories of Loraine. Attendees and others can share their stories at padlet.com. 

An obituary for Hutchins was published in the Bladelast Nov. 24, where people can learn more about her activism in the bisexual community. A private service for friends and family was held in December but this memorial service is open to all. 

Alongside her groundbreaking work organizing for U.S. bisexual rights and liberation including co-editing “Bi Any Other Name: BIsexual People Speak Out” (1991), she also integrated faith into her sexual education and advocacy work. Her 2001 doctoral dissertation, “Erotic Rites: A Cultural Analysis of Contemporary U.S. Sacred Sexuality Traditions and Trends,” offered a pointed queer and feminist analysis to sex-neutral and sex-positive spiritual traditions in the United States. Her thesis was also groundbreaking in exploring the intersections between sex workers and those in caregiving professionals, including spiritual ones.

In an oral history interview conducted by Michelle Mueller back in August 2023, Hutchins described herself as a “priestess without a congregation.” While she has occasionally had a sense of community and feels part of a group of loving people, she admitted that “I don’t feel like we have the shape or the purpose that we need.”

“I’ve often experienced being the Cassandra in the room, the Cassandra in the community. Somebody who’s kind of way out there ahead, thinking through the strategic action points that my community hasn’t gotten to yet, and getting a lot of resistance and hostile responses from people who are frightened by dissent and conflict and not ready for the changes we have to make to survive,” she said.

“For somebody who’s bisexual in an out political way and who’s been a spokesperson for the polyamory movement in an out political way, it’s very exposing. And it’s very important to me to be able to try to explain and help other people understand the connection between spirituality and sexuality,” she explained citing how even as a graduate student she was “exploring how to feel erotic and spiritual, and not feel them in conflict with each other in my own spiritual contemplative life and my own sensual body awareness of being alive in the world.”

“Every religion has a sense of sacred sexuality. It’s just they put a lot of boundaries and regulations on it, and if we have a spiritual practice that is totally affirming of women’s priesthood and of gay people, queer people’s ability to minister to everyone and to be ministered to be everyone, what does that do to the gender of God, or our understanding of how we practice our spirituality and our sexuality in community and privately?”

“There’s no easy answer,” she concludes, and she continued to grapple with these questions throughout her life, co-editing another seminal text, “Sexuality, Religion and the Sacred: Bisexual, Pansexual, and Polysexual Perspectives,” published in 2012. Her work blending spiritual and queer liberation remains groundbreaking to this day. 

Rev. Eric Eldritch, a local community organizer and ordained Pagan minister with Circle Sanctuary who has worked for decades with the DC Center’s Center Faith to organize the Pride Interfaith Service, is eager to highlight this element of her legacy at the memorial service next month.  

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Queery: Meet artist, performer John Levengood

Modern creative talks nightlife, coming out, and his personal queer heroes

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John Levengood (Blade photo by Michael Key)

John Levengood (he/him) describes himself as a modern creative with a wide‑ranging toolkit. He blends music, technology, civic duty, and a sharp sense of wit into a cohesive artistic identity. Known primarily as a recording artist and performer, he’s also a self‑taught music producer and software engineer who embodies a generation of creators who build their own lanes rather than wait for one to appear.

Levengood, 32, who is single and identifies as gay and queer, is best known as a recording artist who has performed at Pride festivals across the country, including the main stages of World Pride DC, Central Arkansas Pride, and Charlotte Pride.

“Locally in the DMV, I’m known for turning heads at nightlife venues with my eye-catching sense of style. When I go out, I don’t try to blend in. I hope I inspire people to be themselves and have the courage to stand out,” he says.

He’s also known for hosting karaoke at Freddie’s Beach Bar in Arlington, Va., on Thursday nights. “I like to create a space where people feel comfortable expressing themselves, building community, and showcasing their talents.”

He also creates social media content from my performances and do interviews at LGBTQ+ bars and theatres in the DMV. Follow the Arlington resident @johnlevengood.

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I have been fully out of the closet since 2019. My parents were the hardest people to tell because my family has always been my rock and at the time I couldn’t imagine a world without them. Their reactions were extremely positive and supportive so I had nothing to fear all along.
I remember sitting on the couch with my mom, dad, and sister in our hotel room in New Orleans during our winter vacation and being so nervous to tell them. After I finally mustered up the nerve and made the proclamation, I realized my dad had already fallen asleep on the couch. My mom promised to tell him when he woke up.

Whos your LGBTQ hero?

My LGBTQ heroes are Harvey Milk for paving the way for gays in politics and Elton John for being a pioneer for the fabulous and authentic. My local heroes in the DMV are Howard Hicks, manager of Green Lantern, and Tony Rivenbark, manager of Freddie’s Beach Bar. Both of them are essential to creating spaces where I’ve felt welcome and safe since moving to the DMV.

Whats Washingtons best nightspot, past or present?

Trade tops the list for me because of the dance floor and outdoor space. It’s so nice to get a break from the music every once and a while to be able to have a conversation.

We live in challenging times. How do you cope?

I’m still figuring this out. What is working right now is writing music and spending time with family and friends. I’ve also been spending less time on social media going to the gym at least three times a week.

What streaming show are you binging?

After “Traitors” Season 4 ended, I was in a bit of a show hole, but “Stumble” has me in a laughing loop right now. The writing is so witty.

What do you wish youd known at 18?

At 18, I wish I would have known how liberating it is to come out of the closet. It would have been nice to know some winning lottery numbers as well.

What are your friends messaging about in your most recent group chat?

We are planning our next trip to New York City. If you can believe it, I visited NYC for the first time in 2025 for Pride and I’ve been back every quarter since. Growing up in the country, I was subconsciously primed to be scared of the city. But my mind has been blown. I can’t wait to go back.

Why Washington?

It’s the closest metropolitan area to my family, but not too close. I love the museums, the diversity, the history, and the proximity to the beach and mountains. It’s also nice to live in a city with public transportation.

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Project GLOW celebrates LGBTQ acts

D.C.’s electronic music festival set for May 30-31

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A scene from last year’s Project GLOW. (Photo courtesy organizers)

Aging RFK Stadium has come down, but the RFK grounds are still getting lit up. Welcome back to the stage Project GLOW, D.C.’s homegrown electronic festival, on May 30-31. Back for its fifth year on these musically inclined acres, Project GLOW returns with an even more diverse lineup, and one that continues to celebrate LGBTQ antecedents, attendees, and acts.

Project GLOW 2026 headliners include house and techno star Mau P, progressive house legend Eric Prydz, hard-techno favorite Sara Landry, and bass acts Excision b2b Sullivan King, among the lineup of trance, bass, house, techno, dubstep, and others for the fifth anniversary year.

President & CEO Pete Kalamoutsos — born and raised in D.C. — founded Club GLOW in 1999. In 2020, GLOW entered into a partnership with global entertainment company Insomniac Events to produce live events like Project GLOW, which kicked off in 2022.

As in past years, Project GLOW not only makes space, but is intentionally inclusive of the LGBTQ community, one of its most dedicated fan bases. The festival’s LGBTQ-focused Secret Garden stage blooms again — a more intimate dance area that stands on the strength of DJs and musicians who draw from the LGBTQ community. D.C.’s LGBTQ nightlife mastermind Ed Bailey is the creative mind behind Secret Garden again. He joined Project GLOW in 2023.

“Kalamoustos says that “he’s proud of his partnership with Ed Bailey, along with Capital Pride and [nightlife producer] Jake Resnikow. It’s amazing to collaborate with Bailey at the Secret Garden stage, especially after the curated lineup we worked on at Pride last year.”

The Secret Garden will be a bit different from other stages: Eternal (“At the Eternal stage, time stands still. Lose yourself in the dance of past, present, and future, surrendering to the eternal rhythm of the universe”) and Pulse (“Feel the rhythm of the beat pulse through your veins as the heartbeat of the crowd synchronizes into one. Here, every moment vibrates with life as it guides you through a new dimension of euphoria”). The Secret Garden stage is in the round, surrounded by 16 shipping containers. The containers play canvas to muralists from around the world, who are coming in to paint them in a vibrant garden-style vibe. “We gave this stage some extra love with this layout,” K says, “ we finally cracked the code.”

K says that this will be the biggest lineup yet for the Secret Garden, featuring Nicole Moudaber b2b Chasewest, Riordan b2b Bullet Tooth, Ranger Trucco, Cassian, Eli & Fur, Cosmic Gate and Hayla. The stage is also the largest yet, featuring an expanded dance floor and 360-degree viewing.

Across all stages, K says that his goal for the fifth anniversary is “More art and fan interactive experience, more like a festival, strive to be like a Tomorrowland, as budget grows to add more experience.” Last year’s Project GLOW alone drew 40,000 attendees over two days.

K, however, was not satisfied with one festival this spring. GLOW recently announced a “pop-up” one-day event. Teaming up with Black Book Records, GLOW is set to throw a first-of-its-kind dance-music takeover of Pennsylvania Avenue, N.W., headlined by electronic music star Chris Lake. Set for April 18, this euphoric block party will feature bass and vibes blocks from the White House. Organizers expect as many as 10,000 fans to attend. Beyond music, there will be food, activations, and plenty of other activities taking place around 6th St and Pennsylvania Ave NW – a location familiar to many in the LGBTQ community, as this sits squarely inside the blocks of the Capital Pride party that takes place in DC every June.

Over the past two decades, Club GLOW has produced thousands of events, from club nights to large-scale festivals including Project GLOW, Moonrise Festival, and more. Club GLOW also operates Echostage.

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