a&e features
Meet D.C.’s Most Eligible LGBT Singles
20 locals on love, life and their biggest turn-ons
This is the fifth annual Washington Blade Most Eligible LGBT Singles issue. It began with reader nominations. From that list of about 200, our staff chose the 20 most eligible with an eye for locals with interesting stories, those doing compelling work and yes, those who are easy on the eyes. Meet them in person Saturday, Feb. 9 at Avalon Saturdays (1420 K St., N.W.) at 10 p.m. Singles will be introduced at 11:15 p.m. Cover is $15 (21 and up). The Blade staff thanks its sponsors Avalon Saturdays D.C., Bite the Fruit and Absolut. Click here for more details.
VOTE HERE ON WHICH SINGLE SHOULD WIN A FREE DATE NIGHT COURTESY OF HANK’S OYSTER BAR!
Shane Mayson
Age: 52
Occupation: Business development, JL Restaurant Group
Identify as: He/him/his
What are you looking for in a mate? I’m looking for someone who can hold his own in social situations. Someone who has a great sense of humor and an optimistic outlook on life. Being romantic is super important to me. I’d like him to have a passion for what he does for a living. Someone who has compassion and gives back to the community. I want someone that has an active lifestyle and loves to travel.
Biggest turn-off: Someone who doesn’t keep his word. And bad tippers.
Biggest turn-on: Someone who is thoughtful and romantic.
Hobbies: Love to travel. Sing with the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington.
Describe your ideal first date: My ideal date would be to meet at a restaurant where we can talk and get to know each other.
Pets, kids or neither? Pets
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? No
Celebrity crush: George Clooney
One obscure fact about yourself: I was a drama major in college.
Jo McDaniel
Age: 37
Occupation: Bartender and manager of A League Of Her Own
Identify as: Queer; she/her
What are you looking for in a mate? At this point in my life, a great deal of flexibility and understanding is what I’m looking for. I have a ridiculous schedule and a lot going on, so if quality time is your love language, I’m likely not to be able to fill your needs. As a human goes, I’m looking for someone who is quick to laugh and slow to anger, someone who wants to seek joy everywhere, similar to me. I need someone who’s a cheerleader and can hang with how much I’m lucky enough to be doing.
Biggest turn-off: Malicious intent. If your intention is to harm, in anything you do, I’m just not interested. Also, an ugly tone will undo any attraction I’m feeling. Words of affirmation is my top love language, so if you’re capable of being ugly with words, particularly toward me, I struggle to come back from that.
Biggest turn-on: Abject kindness. Sweetness in nature goes a long way, with me. A balance of a bold nature and seeking consent is pretty hot — too shy can feel like mixed messages, and I don’t really have time for that. “Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid.” (Basil King)
Hobbies: My entire life, I’ve been addicted to the written word. Any chance I get to settle into a book is one I’m going to take. Other than the one I run, my favorite bar is my backyard, hanging out with friends and my pup. All the better if I’ve got a fire going.
Describe your ideal first date: Because of the schedule I keep, I’m not generally up/available for Friday night dinners. A cup of coffee and a sunrise at Gravelly Point. A good museum in the middle of the week. Hell, be my gym buddy and let’s get lunch, after. I’m super easy, this way. Maybe I don’t know how to date.
Pets, kids or neither? Well, I’ve got both. Ava’s my blonde teenaged mini-me and Bentley’s my brindle pittie rescue.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? No, that’s a hard stop for me. There are enough people surrounding my life who are out to harm my community. I can’t add that to my romantic life.
Celebrity crush: I’ve wanted to take Chili from TLC out on a date since probably high school. It’s more cerebral than anything, but I really want to hang out with Michelle Obama and let her talk to me.
One obscure fact about yourself: I’m obscure on so many levels! I was head cheerleader — that surprises most people. My mom drew my first tattoo as a reward for getting straight As in high school. There are more McDaniel girls; I’m the oldest of four sisters. I started going by Jo professionally because Jordan was too hard to hear over the din of Apex when I first started bartending.
Alex Morash
Age: 34
Occupation: Writer
Identify as: Gay
What are you looking for in a mate? A partner in crime. A fun loving trouble maker. I like to press buttons and force people to think and am drawn to guys looking to do the same.
Biggest turn-off: Blandness
Biggest turn-on: A guy who has something to say.
Hobbies: Does hanging out at gay bars with friends count as a hobby? Well if not, I also enjoy video games, photography and running.
Describe your ideal first date: An ideal first date would start with a cocktail or coffee before a visit to an art gallery or museum or maybe even a live show. Followed by a relaxing dinner where we talk into the night.
Pets, kids or neither? My baby cousins seem to like me, so I guess I could raise a child or two. But, it’s not a must for me.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? I enjoy a good debate, so in theory, yes. But if a guy’s views parrot some of the bigotry I see in our nation’s political discourse, then he wouldn’t be the guy for me.
Celebrity crush: Neil Patrick Harris
One obscure fact about yourself: A lot of guys see me as this unapproachable, loud personality, but I’m actually a lot more low key one on one with close friends.
Kelly Moses
Age: 29
Occupation: Sales at a software startup
Identify as: Gay
What are you looking for in a mate? A partner in every sense of the word. Someone who is always open to new things. Family oriented. Understanding and confident is a must. Work has me on the road pretty frequently and it takes a special type of person to deal with my schedule sometimes.
Biggest turn-off: Insecurity, phone/social media addiction
Biggest turn-on: Confidence, intelligence, genuine, and self-aware with a great smile. A huge plus if they can handle my large, extroverted extended family.
Hobbies: Working out, traveling, skiing, college football (Go Clemson!), golf, long weekends in the Outer Banks.
Describe your ideal first date: Keep it simple. Grab drinks at a bar where we can actually hear each other talk.
Pets, kids or neither? I have a dog now and we are a package deal. Definitely want kids with the right person.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? I think so. I consider myself pretty moderate.
Celebrity crush: Natalie Portman, Anna Kendrick
One obscure fact about yourself: I love all things related to aviation. Chances are I can tell you what type of plane is in the sky. One day when I have the time I’ll get my private pilot license. Oh and I am a Type 1 Diabetic.
Meagan Simonaire
Age: 28
Occupation: Cosmetic tattoo artist at DOLLISTIC
Identify as: Queer
What are you looking for in a mate? Someone who awakens my soul and makes my heart smile.
Biggest turn-off: Jealousy, insecurity and possessiveness.
Biggest turn-on: Confidence. Someone who is living their best life independently.
Hobbies: Is wine a hobby? Also, travel, dance, cooking, art and pretending I’m a comedian.
Describe your ideal first date: Surprise me! (But tell me what to wear.)
Pets, kids or neither? I don’t currently have either, but I’ve always dreamed about being a mommy.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Absolutely not. My experience as an elected official allowed me to see first hand how impactful political views are.
Celebrity crush: Ruby Rose
One obscure fact about yourself: I was the youngest Maryland State Delegate from 2014-2018 and successfully aided the ending of conversion therapy by publicly sharing my personal story.
Laura Napoliello
Age: 28
Occupation: Accidentally killing air-plants.
Identify as: Millennial dumpster fire
What are you looking for in a mate? I’m honestly just out here trying to exist.
Biggest turn-off: Jogs in place at red lights while on a run
Biggest turn-on: Doesn’t believe that drinking more water solves all of your problems
Hobbies: Marie Kondo-ing other people’s tchotchkes.
Describe your ideal first date: We rent a U-Haul. You help me move.
Pets, kids or neither? Committing to working out once a week is all I got right now.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? In this political climate?
Celebrity crush: Fiji water girl (she’s 31 don’t worry).
One obscure fact about yourself: I think I’ve shared enough.
Austin Auger
Age: 28
Occupation: Mortgage loan consultant
Identify as: Gay
What are you looking for in a mate? Someone who’s equally happy spending the night on the sofa with the Dominos Pizza Tracker as they are bouncing between Trade and Number 9. They have to be able to make me laugh and know how to make French toast.
Biggest turn-off: Arrogance, smoking
Biggest turn-on: Confidence, goal oriented and a large vocabulary. Also, a beard doesn’t hurt.
Hobbies: SweatBox, 801 Sunday Brunch and buying my nieces the loudest toys I can find.
Describe your ideal first date: I don’t have one ideal first, but rather I think a great first date where the both of us are doing something that we share an interest in.
Pets, kids or neither? Need dogs.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Everyone is raised from a different background and there are opportunities to learn from those who differ from yours. As long as we can have a conversation and respect each other’s thoughts I’m open to it.
Celebrity crush: Sam Hunt
One obscure fact about yourself: I can turn my feet backwards.
Khorey Baker
Age: 34
Occupation: Higher education administrator
Identify as: Black/gay/male
What are you looking for in a mate? Common sense is not as common as it used to be, so some of that would be great. Someone who is naturally joyful and cares deeply for his friends and family. A love of ’90s R&B music is also a huge bonus.
Biggest turn-off Smoking and racism (not in that order)
Biggest turn-on: Authenticity, sense of humor and spirituality
Hobbies: Traveling, concerts, kickball, exploring new places in D.C.
Describe your ideal first date: Something low key and casual with music, free flowing conversation and a meal.
Pets, kids or neither? Maybe
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? In the words of the incomparable Randy Jackson, “It’s a no for me dawg!”
Celebrity crush: Senator Kamala Harris and Nyle DiMarco
One obscure fact about yourself: Take me on a date and find out!
Jocko Fajardo
Age: 41
Occupation: Lifestyle and entertaining consultant
Identify as: Male; he, him, his
What are you looking for in a mate? Curiosity, adventure and a sense of self
Biggest turn-off: Bad hygiene
Biggest turn-on: Thoughtfulness
Hobbies: Cooking, singing, calligraphy, paper-crafting, painting
Describe your ideal first date: A picnic indoor or outdoor
Pets, kids or neither? Either, provided mutual support
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Yes
Celebrity crush: Josh Duhamel
One obscure fact about yourself: I am a certified massage therapist
Sarah Biglan
Age: 38
Occupation: Private chef/owner District Elite
Identify as: Lesbian (she/her)
What are you looking for in a mate? A person who is honest, independent, confident and emotionally available. We make each other better and laugh a lot at jokes that only we get.
Biggest turn-off: Games, attention seeking and flakiness.
Biggest turn-on: Warm eyes, big smile and lipstick. Enjoys sandwiches as much as I do. Vulnerability.
Hobbies: Food research, the gym and taking bubble baths.
Describe your ideal first date: We go somewhere and have a really hard time ending the conversation. The result being a second date.
Pets, kids or neither? Cats: definitely; dogs: they’re cool; kids: maybe
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? They need to align for the most part, but I respect differing views as long as they are reasonable.
Celebrity crush: Tied: Halsey and DJ Kittens
One obscure fact about yourself: I learned how to juggle from a circus clown. I’m not too bad either.
James Barnett
Age: 29
Occupation: [solidcore] coach & VP acquisitions at CB Development
Identify as: Gay
What are you looking for in a mate? A life partner who is an avid traveler, gym junkie, confident, supportive, hilarious, hard worker, go getter, communicative, dancing queen, dabbles in drag, can cook and can equally enjoy a wild night out staying up till the sun rises or staying in and watching a movie.
Biggest turn-off: Bad smells (b.o. and cigarettes), ambiguity and, stage-five clingers.
Biggest turn-on: Ambition, a cute face, competitiveness and when guys take my class at [solidcore] and can keep up with me (or better yet beat me) in a workout.
Hobbies: Going to the beach, throwing dinner parties and cooking, traveling, rosé — have I mentioned fitness and working out yet?
Describe your ideal first date: Everyone knows you can only agree to casual drinks or coffee for first dates because you may potentially be meeting a psychopath and need to get out. If it’s going well, drinks turn into dinner, which then turns into more drinks to lead to a fun night, which is ideal. My ideal second date is dinner plus an activity (a show, concert, sporting event, workout). Something we can experience together and talk about how we felt about it and get to know each other better.
Pets, kids or neither? Both — kids and pets but no cats. I’m allergic to cats and also they’re cats.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? No. I left a date once because this guy was bashing HRC and Venmo’d him money for the bill and only regret giving him any money.
Celebrity crush: Adam Rippon, Darren Criss, Michael B. Jordan, Zac Efron, and of course Ariana Grande.
One obscure fact about yourself: I was a diver in college.
Jared Godes
Age: 24
Occupation: Box office manager
Identify as: Gay
What are you looking for in a mate? Looking for someone who can reciprocate energy; professionally, personally, physically. Someone to be my biggest fan! And vice versa — pushing me to jump at opportunity, imagine and execute.
Biggest turn-off: Dirty dishes.
Biggest turn-on: Someone who can order for me at restaurants.
Hobbies: Anything that involves Chief (dog). Runs, outdoors, long drives, farmers markets.
Describe your ideal first date: Something active or creative (e.g. pottery making, paint night, rock climbing). Finished off with food (your recommendations) and walking Chief.
Pets, kids or neither? Pet: Chief. Genus: Canis. Species: Dachshund.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Sure!
Celebrity crush: Anderson Cooper and Ryan Gosling.
One obscure fact about yourself: I grew up competing in rodeo, roping only.
Tarik S. Pierce
Age: 40
Occupation: Training and development director
Identify as: Gay
What are you looking for in a mate? Someone who can make me laugh, is a friend and confidant, is smart and doesn’t take himself too seriously. Oh and he has to be his own person and happy in his own right. A complete person.
Biggest turn-off: Insecurity
Biggest turn-on: Knowing who and what you are.
Hobbies: Traveling, Stonewall (& Rogue) Sports, running, working out, my friends (believe me they are an activity in and of themselves), theater and brunch.
Describe your ideal first date: An activity. Something other than dinner or drinks. Whether we’re bowling, playing darts, walking through the memorials. Something other than sitting across from each other inorganically coming up with things to talk about. An activity makes for a loose environment and, if you want to get closer, there’s not a table between you.
Pets, kids or neither? Ha, this one is on him. I’m not opposed to either, but I am not doing it alone.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? I have and would, as long as he was able to have an intelligent conversation about his views. Maybe I can learn a different point of view and, in the process, learn more about him.
Celebrity crush: Celine Dion
One obscure fact about yourself: I think most people who know me would be surprised to know that I love my alone time.
Monika M. Pickett
Age: 51
Occupation: Author
Identify as: “The Lesbian”
What are you looking for in a mate? I am looking for a partner who is courageous enough to adore me publicly and privately, someone who is kind and as beautiful on the inside as the outside. I’m attracted to feminine women.
Biggest turn-off: Pretentiousness, lack of compassion, dishonesty
Biggest turn-on: Confidence, self-awareness, laughter, kindness
Hobbies: Working out, Finding quaint consignment shops, watching foreign/indie films, care-free day trips to new places.
Describe your ideal first date: Lunch or dinner at a waterfront restaurant, laughing as we vibe on our mutual attraction.
Pets, kids or neither? Not much of a pet person. I love kids. I have an adult son, an amazing daughter-in-law and two beautiful grandchildren.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Definitely, as long as their views aren’t aligned with classism, oppression and inequality.
Celebrity crush: Ava DuVernay; Cate Blanchett
One obscure fact about yourself: From a very young age, I challenged assumptions on what a lesbian “looks” like. I look like a girl on the outside but I am one chromosome from being my mother’s second son on the inside.
Molly Byrom
Age: 27
Occupation: Social worker
Identify as: Queer
What are you looking for in a mate? Someone who has a close relationship with Jesus. Someone who is a fiercely loyal friend. Someone who will keep me on my toes while also making me feel one hundred percent safe.
Biggest turn-off: Inauthenticity and flakiness.
Biggest turn-on: When someone is secure in who they are.
Hobbies: Cooking, photography, serving in the church, reading and yard work. I stay busy, I have many more.
Describe your ideal first date: I enjoy any combination of food or drinks and exploring. I would love a picnic at the Tidal Basin, where I bring homemade food. We can people watch together and walk around.
Pets, kids or neither? Yes to dogs and kids.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Yes, if the differences are within reason and the person is understanding and respectful of my views.
Celebrity crush: None, I’m not actually that interested in celebrities.
One obscure fact about yourself: This is it. I created a public dating profile.
Emma Chadband
Age: 29
Occupation: Graphic designer for the United Nations Foundation
Identify as: Lesbian
What are you looking for in a mate? Hopefully a Hufflepuff. Someone who wants to talk through the intricacies of Ariana Grande vs Carly Rae Jepsen. Someone interested in radical friendships and community building. Someone who’s just as passionate about exploring this world as I am.
Biggest turn-off: Being too quick to judge. A lack of empathy. Too big an ego. I like to laugh at myself so I hope you will, too.
Biggest turn-on: Kindness. Sounds lame, but I love people who love people.
Hobbies: I’m kind of a hobby queen. I’m currently learning how to play the piano. I also love pole dancing and DIY projects of any kind. If you have a denim jacket, I can embroider a custom patch for you. I also just backpacked through Europe for three months with my best friend, and planning a trip I might never even take might be my favorite way to whittle away a slow afternoon.
Describe your ideal first date: Wine, cheese, lots of laughter.
Pets, kids or neither? I have one cat, Potato, who is my only roommate but he really runs the house. Yes to puppies and yes to kids!
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Yes. We can argue over whether or not D.C.’s straw ban is really relevant or making a difference. But if our views differ on things beyond straw policy — like Trump, travel bans, the general awfulness of this administration, it probably won’t work out.
Celebrity crush: Miley Cyrus, but I’m sufficiently embarrassed about it.
One obscure fact about yourself: I run the Bud Light Lime instagram, @budlightlimeofficial
Thomas Hudson
Age: 24
Occupation: LGBTQ policy associate
Identify as: Queer
What are you looking for in a mate? Someone who’s goal oriented with a nice sense of humor. Someone who enjoys arts, exploring nature, bottomless brunch and social justice. Someone willing to work through our imperfections together.
Biggest turn-off: Lack of communication and dishonesty
Biggest turn-on: Intelligence, humor and goals
Hobbies: Exploring museums, nature walks, bottomless brunches, social justice lectures, dancing and singing.
Describe your ideal first date: Perfect first date would be dinner or brunch, a museum tour and walking the monuments at night while having a long meaningful conversation.
Pets, kids or neither? I love cats and dogs. I would love to have children. I definitely plan to foster and adopt in due time.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Yes and no. I value a difference of opinion and can respect someone with opposing views. However, when those views work to uphold the various forms of systemic oppression, I have to draw the line. I will not compromise my values, beliefs or identity for someone else’s comfort.
Celebrity crush: Kofi Siriboe
One obscure fact about yourself: I have a really flexible back.
Laurel Powell
Age: 30
Occupation: Digital campaigns manager
Identify as: Queer transgender woman
What are you looking for in a mate? Someone whose life is full with drive and ambition and passion and isn’t afraid of communicating their thoughts and wants and desires in a healthy way. In short, let’s be a power couple.
Biggest turn-off: Indecisiveness, probably followed by treating wait staff poorly or being a bad tipper.
Biggest turn-on: Confidence, intelligence and humor. Bonus points if you can cook a good breakfast (I’ll make dinner).
Hobbies: I’m a voracious reader and an avid PC gamer.
Describe your ideal first date: Dinner and drinks! Keep it simple and allow plenty of time to talk and get to know each other.
Pets, kids or neither? Same answer to both — I don’t have any currently, but am open to the possibility with the right person in the right situation.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? To a point. I don’t expect someone to feel the exact same way as me, but I won’t compromise on certain issues. Trump voters (and non-voters) need not apply.
Celebrity crush: Hayley Kiyoko
One obscure fact about yourself: I adore trains and my favorite vacation that I’ve ever taken was a solo cross-country train trip from D.C. to Seattle.
Michael Suh
Age: 31
Occupation: Project manager
Identify as: Gay
What are you looking for in a mate? Someone who is open, honest, caring and thoughtful. Comfortable in his own skin and isn’t afraid to be himself with his friends, family and others. Has a good, smart sense of humor. I’m looking for a partner in life, so definitely someone who is also looking for commitment. Nerdy helps, too!
Biggest turn-off: Bigotry
Biggest turn-on: Romance, wit and a good cuddler with some scruff.
Hobbies: Musical performance, museums, video games, board games, trying new foods, movies, cosplay
Describe your ideal first date: Sharing stories over dinner at a new place neither of us have tried before (so we can both complain about it if we hate it), followed by a walk to get dessert and talking and laughing. We’d kiss and part ways, but continue via text at home until one of us (probably me) falls asleep.
Pets, kids or neither? Neither, though pets (dog) if I had to pick
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Absolutely not
Celebrity crush: Dan Levy
One obscure fact about yourself: I did Army JROTC in high school. My hair was much shorter then!
Mundy Spears
Age: Legal
Occupation: Composer, vocalist, teacher and performance artist
Identify as: Non-binary, queer. they/them
What are you looking for in a mate? An honest, kind, fun-loving partner in crime. Open-minded excitement for life. A patient person who loves art, music and nature. Passionate and considerate with a strong sense of purpose. A switch.
Biggest turn-off: Game playing/dishonesty. Be real.
Biggest turn-on: Kindness
Hobbies: Dancing in the garden, making things grow. Butterflies. Hiking with my dog and cuddling with my cat. Treasure hunting (I have a vintage clothing line). Word nerd.
Describe your ideal first date: Yummy food and a show of any kind. Drinks after to talk through the thoughts the show inspired. Or we just go dance it out.
Pets, kids or neither? Babies with and without fur.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? No
Celebrity crush: Rosario Dawson
One obscure fact about yourself: When I was 13, I lived in an eco-village in Findhorn, Scotland.
a&e features
The mastery of love
The world knows Eric Anderson as Billy Porter’s partner, but in Rehoboth Beach, he has a story entirely his own
The world knows Eric Anderson as Billy Porter’s partner. In Rehoboth Beach, Del., he has a life — and a story — entirely his own.
My first time with Eric Anderson was hot — very hot. Before he arrived, I sat waiting, overthinking everything. When he finally appeared in a loose-fitting T-shirt and purple shorts, I understood why he attracts attention. Eric is the kind of man who changes the energy of a room simply by entering it.
After a quick hello, we got right to it. Techno pulsed through the room as Eric told me how to move, where to place my hands, when to breathe. My heart pounded. My muscles ached. I bent, twisted, and stretched while sweat ran down my back and burned my eyes. I didn’t bother wiping it away.
To be clear, Eric and I were not alone. Five other people were with us — and the yoga studio at SoulFire Collective in Rehoboth Beach was heated to 87 degrees.
“If you are always racing toward the next moment, what happens to the one you’re in?” Eric asked, opening his power yoga class and inviting us to leave whatever had followed us through the door and surrender to the present. Surrender did not come easily. At 58, I’ve done enough yoga to know the difference between discomfort and imminent death. Halfway through Eric’s relentless flow, the distinction began to blur.
A playlist of techno and remixed pop — including “Live Like You Were Dying” — carried us from one demanding pose to the next. Eric moved among the mats with the energy of a nightclub DJ and the calm of someone who trusted our bodies to go further than our minds believed possible. Nearly an hour later, when the music softened and I collapsed onto my back in savasana, he laid a cool cloth across my forehead. I exhaled — relieved, and maybe a little disappointed, that my first time with Eric was over.
At the end of my mat, a handwritten note congratulated me on my first class and invited me back — a small benediction after the storm. Then Eric closed the class by repeating the question with which he’d opened. For a man whose relationship with actor and singer Billy Porter has drawn him unexpectedly into the public eye, it sounded less like a yoga mantra than a personal creed.
The next time I meet Eric, there is air conditioning and caffeine. We are at Starbucks, where I deliberately order the largest drinks available, as though volume alone might buy me more time. He chooses a matcha, and I order herbal tea. My heart is pounding again, faster than the soft rock drifting from the speakers above us. Although I’ve already spent more than an hour with Eric, I know almost nothing about the man I’m about to interview.
Neither, it seems, does anyone else.
Celebrity outlets offer a handful of biographical details: a Rehoboth Beach teacher and yoga instructor with a master’s degree from Columbia University. Gay publications have been less restrained. One introduced him as Billy Porter’s “total hot stud,” called him “a snacc,” and praised his ability to “rock a Speedo.” Queerty distilled Eric’s identity to five words: “Porter is dating a teacher.”
All of it tells me how the world sees him. None of it tells me who he is.
I know from our text exchanges that Eric is slammed for time. He is scheduled to travel to New York later that day and fly to WorldPride Amsterdam the following afternoon. Billy is among the headliners for the opening-night Unity Concert and is also slated to perform at the Wedding Party XXL alongside KI/KI, Bimini, and the Vengaboys. Eric still has to pack. This, I’m beginning to understand, is part of loving someone famous: there is almost always an itinerary, another city, and a specific time and place Billy needs to be. Even here, with two untouched drinks between us, the clock is ticking.
As soon as we sit down, I open my laptop, ready to get to work. My mind is focused on the list of questions I’ve prepared, and I’ve already anticipated the shape of most of his responses. Then I look up and see Eric sitting perfectly still, smiling, and taking in the moment. He hasn’t even taken a sip of his matcha yet.
I quietly close my laptop and breathe.
Within minutes, the interview softens into a conversation.
Eric earned a bachelor’s degree in history from the University of Delaware and a master’s in public school leadership from Teachers College, Columbia University. He began his career teaching mathematics before moving into school administration, eventually serving as vice president of the Charter School of Wilmington and head of school at Sussex Academy. Today, he teaches mathematics and social studies in the Cape Henlopen School District. He also coaches soccer and leads yoga classes at SoulFire Collective in Rehoboth Beach.
His return to the classroom was deliberate. Eric knows some people assumed there must be a story behind his leaving administration—that he had done something wrong or that teaching represented a demotion.
“I want to make it clear that I went back to teaching by choice,” he says.
As a child, Eric played school. Teaching has always felt natural to him, less like an occupation than an expression of who he is. Administration was different.
“It felt like work,” he says. “It wasn’t where my passion was, and it didn’t bring me joy. Going back into the classroom was simply me choosing joy.”
The more Eric talks, the clearer it becomes that teaching is not merely a job but a vocation. His mother is white and his father is Black, and growing up biracial was not always easy. “I saw the best and the worst of both,” he tells me. Those experiences helped shape his desire to become a teacher — to be the kind of person who could make a meaningful difference in a young person’s life.
Just then, Eric glances over his shoulder and locks eyes with someone across the room. He waves and flashes what is quickly becoming his signature smile. My first thought is that someone has recognized him as Billy Porter’s partner.
I’m wrong. It’s one of his former students.
Inevitably, our conversation turns to love — and to Billy. I’ve made it clear that I’m here to write about Eric, not Billy Porter. But separating the two entirely would be as artificial as defining Eric only by their relationship. Billy is now an essential part of his story.
Eric met Billy at a Christmas party hosted by mutual friends who had been trying to introduce them all night. It wasn’t easy — the party was crowded, and the two men never quite crossed paths. Eric stayed for the afterparty, where a friend nudged him and nodded toward the room: Billy was looking his way. Romance never crossed his mind.
Eventually, they started talking. Eric has never had much patience for small talk, and he wasn’t interested in cataloging which celebrities Billy knew. He skipped it entirely and went straight for the deeper questions — what Billy believed, how he saw the world, what mattered to him. They ended up at the kitchen table, trading life philosophies until 5 a.m.
What struck Eric most wasn’t the conversation’s length. It was its depth. Billy wasn’t who he expected. Neither was the conversation. By the time the sun was coming up, Eric was less surprised that they’d talked all night than by how much, it turned out, they had in common.
They had dinner the following evening, and Billy invited Eric to spend the weekend with him in New York. There, Billy took him to see Nicole Scherzinger in “Sunset Boulevard.” Right before the show started, he casually introduced Eric to a friend named Katy. Back in their seats, Eric asked how Billy knew her.
“BITCH,” Billy replied, “that is Miss K-A-T-Y P-E-R-R-Y!”
For all the glamour surrounding their courtship, Eric describes the foundation of their relationship in decidedly spiritual terms. His favorite book is don Miguel Ruiz’s The Mastery of Love, which explores how fear, expectation, and the need for approval can distort relationships. Its philosophy closely resembles Eric’s own.
On the surface, Eric and Billy inhabit different worlds. Eric is a deeply spiritual teacher rooted in a small coastal Delaware town. Billy is a celebrated actor and performer whose larger-than-life persona commands stages around the world. But when I ask Eric how the relationship works, he doesn’t hesitate.
“I know that I can be my authentic self with him, and he can be his with me,” he says. “We love each other unconditionally.”
The words could sound rehearsed. Coming from Eric, they don’t.
The red carpets, famous faces, and international travel are not what matter most.
“It’s all about the people,” he explains. “I love Billy’s family and friends, and he loves mine.”
Authenticity surfaces repeatedly in our conversation — not as an abstract ideal, but as Eric’s determination to trust what feels right for him, even when other people may not understand it. I tell him about growing up in Pittsburgh and spending much of my life trying to fit the person I was into the person the world expected me to be. Eric listens intently, then pauses before responding.
“Fuck the system.”
It is blunt, funny, and entirely consistent with the man sitting across from me. Dating Billy may have dramatically increased the number of strangers who have opinions about Eric, but it hasn’t increased the number whose opinions matter to him. He is remarkably unconcerned with what people he doesn’t know think — or say — about him. The attention is new. His response to it is not.
For Eric, authenticity isn’t about asking the world for permission to be yourself. It’s about deciding that permission was never the world’s to give.
That instinct—to look inward rather than outward for permission — predates Billy.
Eric initially turned to yoga for a practical reason: he wanted to improve his physical performance on the soccer field. It didn’t take long for him to realize that something else was happening. Yoga was strengthening his body, but it was also grounding him.
Over time, the physical practice became inseparable from the mental one. The poses, the heat, even the strength required to hold his body in place became less important than learning how to quiet the noise around him, stay present, and listen to himself. The man who had pushed me through an hour of sweat and discomfort wasn’t simply teaching people how to move their bodies. He was asking them to practice something he had learned to do himself.
That sense of being grounded has become particularly important in a relationship that often requires two people to live very different lives. Eric is quick to point out that he and Billy have separate careers, separate ambitions, and goals entirely their own. Neither expects the other to abandon an individual life simply because they have chosen to build a relationship together.
When Billy left for London to star in “Cabaret,” distance became part of their routine. They FaceTimed every day, a practice they continue whenever they are apart.
“I tell Billy everything,” Eric says.
Being authentic with Billy doesn’t require the two men to become more alike. If anything, the opposite seems true. They are comfortable following their own career paths, living separate lives when circumstances require it, and giving each other the freedom to pursue what matters individually. Then they come back together — not because either has put his own life on hold, but because they have chosen to share those lives with each other.
When we finally look at the time, nearly 90 minutes have passed. Eric still needs to pack. New York is waiting, Amsterdam after that, and somewhere there is undoubtedly an itinerary telling Billy exactly where he needs to be and when.
But for a while, neither of us was racing toward the next moment.
We were fully inside the one we were in.
a&e features
What ‘Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’ can still teach us
Producer David Collins on lasting impact of hit series
It’s hard to imagine where LGBTQ+ television would be without “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” the trailblazing reality series that premiered in 2003.
Each episode of this Emmy-winning show saw a group of gays converge on a struggling man — the titular straight guy — and offer nonstop wit while organizing his endlessly messy life. This program about a group of homosexual helpers took the world by storm, furthering the love of gay television begun by shows like “Will and Grace” but bringing it into the growing medium of reality TV. Of course, it wasn’t perfect; “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” often cast its experts less as multi-faceted queer folks and more as sources of early 2000s gay jokes. But despite these pitfalls, it’s undeniable that the original program explored the realities of being gay in a way audiences had never seen before. It was a monumental piece of LGBTQ+ representation, and its success is largely owed to the man who fought to get this show made: producer David Collins.
Collins spoke with the Blade from his Los Angeles home, where he’s spent the past few years living with his husband and his two daughters. David spoke fondly of his many years in the industry, detailing how it feels to be such a huge part of LGBTQ+ history. He explained, however, that he didn’t initially set out to alter how queer people were seen on television. “I never went out to make gay television,” said the producer. “I went out to tell great stories.”
“I’m a hillbilly from Ohio, and I thought I was going to be an editor,” David laughed, looking back on his career. “I interned at the Cincinnati Film Office, and I showed up to work my very first day, and the film commissioner was like, ‘Get to the airport right now and pick [someone] up. Don’t talk to them.’ Well, I ended up picking up Jodie Foster.” Collins raved about this car ride that changed his life, with the pair becoming friends and Foster pushing him to become a producer who puts their own media out into the world. Eventually, he did just that, and after learning about the wild new genre that was reality TV, he pitched a series to Bravo: “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.”
“I was obsessed with Esquire magazine, and they had five categories: fashion, grooming, interior design, culture, food, and wine. So I gave them each a gay, and the Fab Five were born!” Collins said, describing how viewers quickly fell in love with the concept and earned the program four seasons and an Emmy for Outstanding Reality Program. He spoke about how proud he felt creating a show that centered real gay people, not characters in a story, remembering, “To stand in the middle of Times Square and look up and see this massive billboard with the original Queer Eye guys…it wasn’t even a dream come true, because it wasn’t a dream I had even fathomed.”
With his series, people were watching actual gay men and learning the realities of a queer culture that had always been portrayed as a danger to society. Collins tearfully recounted hearing about queer people using the show as a way to connect with their family, saying, “What I’m most proud of that’s come out of Queer Eye [are] the conversations that that series has allowed to have people around their kitchen tables with little boys in Ohio like me who were scared to death that they were going to burn in hell because their pastor was telling them that they were a sinner.”
Now, for all of its trailblazing, the program wasn’t wholly positive; the show’s focus on the central ‘straight guy’ meant it rarely delved into the lives of its Fab Five. Collins regretted that lack of depth but understood that earlier audiences weren’t accustomed to such a nuanced look into queerness — that would have to wait for the reboot.
When “Queer Eye” came out in 2018, audiences were introduced to not only a new Fab Five, but a whole new format (that didn’t rely on a straight person). Now, the series would assist queer folks and allies alike, spotlighting these individuals as well as the queer experts helping them improve their lives. The show has been applauded for its amazing makeovers, but where it truly stands out is its representation, offering a look into individuals across the country and the struggles — along with the immense joys — of being queer in America today.
Fans were disappointed to hear that “Queer Eye” would be ending after its 10th season, but David stressed that they wouldn’t have to be sad for long. “What I will say to you is this: hang tight,” he teased. “There’s yet another version of ‘Queer Eye’ to come, and we’re working on that now.” In the meantime, Collins is continuing his work with new shows like the “House of Stassi,” a series centered on “Vanderpump Rules’”prolific waitress. He’s excited about these new projects, but emphasized that his heart will always belong to “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” and all that it continues to do for viewers 19 years after its finale.
“It’s not about your new outfit or your new couch or your new whatever. It’s about your humanity,” said Collins, speaking about the core lesson he hopes people take away from the Queer Eye franchise. “It’s about seeing yourself. It’s about dignity. It’s about how confidence breeds success.”
A valuable message that queer folks can benefit from even more now than they did in 2003. And, while it’s unclear just what lies ahead for this franchise, one thing is for sure: “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” helped people everywhere understand the power that exists within our queerness. It’s a truth that has impacted countless pieces of LGBTQ+ television today, and it’s one that Collins promises to keep alive through whatever hit show he creates next.
a&e features
Jason DePuy on coping with homophobia in ‘Big Brother’ house
First drag queen contestant on CBS show fought to stay positive
One week after Jason DePuy (known as Salina EsTitties on “RuPaul’s Drag Race”) was bullied and eventually evicted from CBS’s “Big Brother” house, the queer drag performer is still emotionally processing his feelings.
During his 24 days in the reality TV competition, DePuy often had a rough time, with fellow cast member Kamuela “Kamu” Kirk making homophobic comments and feeling isolated.
In a conversation with Head of Household Rick Devens, Kirk left viewers upset when he said, “Bro, miss me with the drag stuff. Miss me. I’m still an MMA guy, and I have an image to uphold.”
Former “Big Brother” contestant Frankie Grande called his words ‘homophobic’ and ‘gross.’ Another comment, where Kirk said he wanted to end DePuy’s career, also received strong backlash online.
Now that he is out of the house, DePuy has been shocked and deeply touched by the love from “Big Brother” fans and former contestants. We chatted with DePuy for this Blade exclusive.
“To know that my community was rallying for me outside the house was the most wonderful thing. Seeing how much people were just wanting to shower me with love was incredible. Even my friends, I went to say hi and give them a hug, and they’re like, ‘Uh, uh, come here.’ They had to hold me and let me know America was feeling for me in a way that I had no idea.”
He added: “To see that reality was just overwhelming, and I couldn’t ask for more.”
Known as a messy player in the house, DePuy often had to fight to stay positive and stand up for himself.
“No one was coming to my rescue. In real life, it’s easy to block people, but in the house, I didn’t have that luxury, so I had to find it within myself to learn how to speak up for myself in a way that wasn’t nasty or biting. I didn’t attack anyone personally, which is what I was the most proud of.”
DePuy acknowledged he has had a history of putting his foot in his mouth when it came to certain “Drag Race”moments, being in the public eye, and making a fool of himself. “I’ve learned my lessons; to see how I handled myself in the ‘Big Brother’ house was amazing.”
While DePuy has been sober for 14 and a half years and has a strong spiritual foundation, in the Big Brother house, he often felt like he couldn’t communicate what he was feeling.
“As a queer person, a person of color, a drag queen, I have to be very careful about how I move. I don’t have the luxury or privilege to just act a certain way or say a certain thing. I have to be very careful; I’m representing me. But who I am is a Latino, a person of recovery, a drag queen, a queer person in the community. I know that there’s a lot of pressure that comes with that. I felt it was safer for me to sit there and just breathe than try to do anything crazy.”
He continued: “I couldn’t speak to the personal attack that was happening in the house, because in my mind I was like, ‘no, this is a game, and I have to play it, put that aside.’”
Not only can viewers watch the episodes, but they can also watch the live feeds of what’s happening. Seeing the fans’ social media posts from people who had watched the episodes and the live feeds also contributed to DePuy realizing that his feelings of discomfort were valid.
“To know that I wasn’t delusional in those moments, that others could see what was happening, has been a lot to take in. Fans and friends let me know the comments made went beyond the game…I’m like, ‘Oh, so my instincts were correct.”
One of the most poignant moments on the live feeds occurred when DePuy was crying, alone in his room, and said how he missed his gay community.
“I really missed my friends. I missed my queer community. We’re so colorful. We’re so loud. We’re so vibrant. We speak off the cuff, and we’re very truthful and honest with how we speak, and it’s fun. We have fun lingo.”
DePuy had to censor his expressions in the house. “Because I can say one thing, but it can mean something different to straight people than it does with my queer brothers and sisters. So, there was a sense of code-switching that I had to do. I had to even put aside some of my queerness in a way sometimes to fit in.”
DePuy was thrilled to be the very first drag queen to ever be cast on the show.
“I’m honored to have been chosen. There’s a million drag queens out there, and to know that I was a contender to come in the house and not even be in drag was like a wow for me. I’m over here in Hollywood, running around these streets with a wig and heels just to make a dollar to survive, and I have to rely on drag to do that. And then to be offered this opportunity and be given the privilege to say, ‘hey, you don’t have to put on the wig for you to be valuable here,’ is just insane to me.”
Prior to his shows, DePuy has been hustling for 15 years, flipping burgers and doing drag at night.
“That has been my life these past since I was 17. So it’s been a long journey; the opportunity to do this out of drag is a very big blessing. I’m honored and grateful to be the representation of my community.”
If you missed Jason on “Big Brother: Unlocked,” the episode can be seen on CBS.com. He will be back on the show for the finale.
Comings & Goings
LGBTQ Military Happy Hour set for Sept. 15
Calendar: September 11-17
Multi-billion-dollar 9/11 Victim Compensation Fund to continue until 2090
Ind. prosecutor declines to press charges over false Buttigieg child welfare complaint
Blade Foundation to host fundraiser in Rehoboth on Sept. 12
New book examines fashionista Audrey Smaltz’s fabulous life
Actress takes on bisexual ‘Ma’ Rainey in new Round House production
Iceland implements gender-neutral blood donor rules
Everton Blair makes history as first openly gay congressman from Ga.
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Out & About5 days agoBlade Foundation to host fundraiser in Rehoboth on Sept. 12
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Books5 days ago
New book examines fashionista Audrey Smaltz’s fabulous life
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Theater5 days ago
Actress takes on bisexual ‘Ma’ Rainey in new Round House production
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Iceland4 days ago
Iceland implements gender-neutral blood donor rules
