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QUEERY: Sean Holihan

The RAINN policy manager answers 20 queer questions

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Sean Holihan, gay news, Washington Blade
Sean Holihan (Photo courtesy Holihan)

Editor’s note: Doing something interesting or creative during lockdown? The Blade is always looking for compelling Queery subjects. To be eligible, the subject must be a D.C.-area resident, openly LGBTQ and someone who’s never previously done it. Trans folks, queer women and people of color are especially desired. Send Queery suggestions to Features Editor Joey DiGuglielmo at [email protected] and you or a friend could be in an upcoming issue!

For more than 25 years, RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) has provided critical support to survivors and their loved ones through the National Sexual Assault Hotline (800-656-HOPE or rainn.org).

As the primary provider of services in the U.S., RAINN takes a survivor-centered, trauma-informed approach to developing programs and services that support survivors of sexual violence and their loved ones and works to end sexual violence in all its forms.

After working with Camille Cooper, RAINN’s vice president of policy, for more than a decade, Sean Holihan “jumped at the chance” to join the staff as policy manager just over a year ago.

Although RAINN does not track the sexual orientation of its callers, HRC has said LGBTQ youth are twice as likely to have experienced sexual dating violence or physical dating violence and that “many” of its callers are queer. The coronavirus lockdown is likely exacerbating the issue, Holihan says.

“For children quarantined with their abusers, stay-at-home orders have exacerbated abuse they are experiencing,” the 39-year-old Norfolk, Va., native says. “History has shown that sexual and domestic violence actually increase during times of crisis or natural disasters, but because many victims are stuck at home, unable to get away from an abuser or even report that the abuse is happening, sexual assault exams are down during this time. Once stay-at-home orders are lifted across the country, we expect to see a large increase of reports, as well as calls to the National Sexual Assault Hotline and are working to ensure we can be there to support survivors at this crucial time.”

RAINN was started by Scott Berkowitz in 1994. Singer/songwriter Tori Amos was RAINN’s first spokesperson and continues to be involved.

Holihan worked previously as a communications and policy consultant with his husband, Danny Barefoot, at their small firm. Holihan came to Washington 11 years ago to work with the Democratic Party.

He’s been isolating at home during the pandemic and says, “I’ve accepted that I can’t change what’s happening.”

Highly active in D.C. gay social circles, Holihan says he’s known “a handful” of friends and acquaintances who’ve had COVID-19 but “thankfully they’ve all recovered by now.”

He lives in Shaw and enjoys baseball, video games, his cats, Pokemon Go and “binge watching old seasons of ‘Drag Race’” in his down time.

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I came out when I was 17 as bisexual to my mom. All she said was, “Yeah sure, bi now, gay later.” Never loved that sentiment, but she wasn’t wrong.

Who’s your LGBTQ hero?

Bayard Rustin. He was an out gay man who spent more than two years in prison as a conscientious objector to the draft, participated in the first Freedom Rides, helped desegregate the Armed Forces and worked alongside MLK Jr. for equality. This man is a legend.

What LGBTQ stereotype most annoys you?

I think I hate the idea that all gays are exclusive and mean to each other. Anyone and everyone CAN be mean to each other. However, if anything, I’ve found D.C. to be a great place for new people to make a family of their own.

What’s your proudest professional achievement?

Over the years I’ve worked to help pass legislation that helped out-of-work fishermen create new careers as ship builders (long story), help people get protective orders against their abuser and ensure that victims of sexual assault had access to medical help.

What terrifies you?

Being alone in this world. I saw my Uncle Bobby suffer and die from AIDS when I was a kid. He passed without anyone to care for him except for my mom. It terrified me and made me think that’s what living my life as an openly gay man held in store. I’m happy to say my life has turned out differently, but it’s something that I still fear.

What’s something trashy or vapid you love?

Miller Lite and the arcade game Buck Hunter.

What’s your greatest domestic skill?

I am a pretty decent bartender.

What’s your favorite LGBTQ movie or show?

Movie: “But I’m a Cheerleader” still holds up despite coming out in 1999. TV show: “Six Feet Under.”

What’s your social media pet peeve?

People commenting on other people’s posts or tweets just to be a jerk. Why engage? Just keep scrolling.

What would the end of the LGBTQ movement look like to you?

A completely trans-inclusive country.

What’s the most overrated social custom?

Right now, I guess I’d have to say shaking hands when you greet someone.

What was your religion, if any, as a child and what is it today?

I was baptized as a Methodist to get back at my Catholic grandparents. My grandparents made my mom marry my dad right before I was born to avoid the shame of having a baby out of wedlock. My parents divorced five years later and I haven’t been religious in a long, long time.

What’s D.C.’s best hidden gem?

So’s Your Mom in Adams Morgan makes amazing sandwiches. Just give them your cash and get out because they don’t take cards and you can’t eat inside.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

Gathering with my first group of gay friends in Virginia Beach, Va., to watch “Queer as Folk” before heading out to this bar called Ambush is probably something that will always stick with me.

What celebrity death hit you hardest?

I moved around a lot as a kid and instead of playing outside, I would watch a ton of “Saturday Night Live” reruns. I absolutely loved Phil Hartman. Hearing about his death hit me hard.

If you could redo one moment from your past, what would it be?

I dropped out of college to drive cross country and live in Berkeley for a short time with my brother and sister. It wasn’t even that fun.

What are your obsessions?

This is going to sound so hokey but it’s the people around me. I have an amazing group of people around me and I’m incredibly lucky to have them in my life. Not being able to see all of them at this time is a big reminder of that.

Finish this sentence — It’s about damn time:

… baseball comes back.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

To aim higher. It took me until I was 25 to realize I wanted to do more with my life than just scrape by.

Why Washington?

The most passionate group of people I’ve ever met.

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Summer in D.C. brings sports, Restaurant Week, festivals, and more

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Washington Spirit CEO Kim Stone hosts Pride Night OUT on Sunday, Aug. 23. (Photo courtesy of Washington Spirit)

Summer in D.C. just hits different. Congress is out, school is out, the sun is out, thighs are out. With the skies clearing from Canadian smoke, here are a few ways to stay entertained.

Dining

Summer restaurant week: The Restaurant Association of Metropolitan Washington (RAMW) is once again hosting Summer Restaurant Week, Aug. 18-24. This weeklong dining experience showcases the dynamic dining scene of the DMV, including 2026 RAMMY Award-winning favorites (the annual D.C. food awards show that took place June 29). Participating restaurants will offer three-course brunch and lunch selections for $25 or $35 per person, and three-course dinners for $40, $55 and $65 per person.

New Restaurants: A handful of new spots have opened, so the summer is a great time to check them out:

  • Oribu: A new Mediterranean-Japanese restaurant in the Grand Hyatt hotel, which just underwent a remodeling effort. The sleek restaurant brings upscale charm, with dishes like Wagyu beef tartare with potato pavé and caviar.
  • The Oak Room: A snazzy old-school American grill has just opened in Georgetown, alongside its sister upstairs supper club (Bernadette’s) restaurant, in the old El Centro space.
  • Uchi: This showy Japanese sushi-forward chain has landed in Dupont with a chef’s tasting menu of favorites like fatty tuna.
  • Kathmandu: Recalling the capital of Nepal, this warm, buzzy subterranean restaurant right in the heart of U Street brings spice, flair, and rare ingredients to its dishes (see: buffalo burgers) and drinks.

Sports

  • Washington Spirit Pride Night OUT: On Sunday, Aug. 23, head to Audi Field for a massive, high-energy game following the exciting month of World Cup. The designated Pride Night OUT game promises boisterous crowds plus pre- and post-game community engagements. 
  • Washington Tennis Open – Now called the Mubadala DC Open, this annual tournament is only combined mens’ and womens’ 500-level tennis tournament in the world. The open is one of D.C.’s longest-standing sports traditions, and will take place at the Rock Creek Park Tennis Center July 25-Aug. 2. Naomi Osaka, Venus Williams, Ben Shelton, Frances Tiafoe, and others are expected to play.

Festivals

  • Afro Plus Fest: This huge, three-day Afro-Caribbean Hip-Hop Festival brings together headliners Davido, Alkaline, and Wizkid, plus Tems and Ayra Starr. The event moves from RFK to the Northwest Stadium Complex for three days, Sept. 4-6.
  • Capital Fringe Festival: Running from July 11-21, this massive celebration features dozens of live theater, comedy, dance, and boundary-pushing nighttime performances across multiple DC neighborhoods. 
  • The National Book Festival returns, with headliners like Cynthia Erivo, and Martin Scorsese. The one-day festival, Saturday, Aug. 22, brings together bookworms and word nerds under the theme “America 250: It’s Your Story.” There are talks, workshops, musical sessions and more.
  • All Things Go: A three-day festival Sept. 25-27 at Merriweather Post Pavilion featuring Mitski, Hayley Williams, Brandi Carlile, MUNA, Zara Larsson, Ethel Cain, and many, many more artists. There are single-day and three-day tickets. Featuring and highlighting female artists, the festival has turned into a must-see for many LGBTQ audience members.
  • Fuchsia Fest: The inaugural Fuchsia Fest is a new multi-day celebration created to celebrate LGBTQ community and expression, bringing together a mix of community gatherings, entertainment, and nightlife. The event takes place Sept. 18-20 and is hosted by Capital Pride.

Art and Music

  • United We Dance: A high-energy rave with house, techno, bass, and festival music, on Aug. 1 at the 9:30 Club. 
  • The Fray. On Aug. 14, this American rock band famous for How To Save A Life is at Merriweather Post Pavilion.
  • Kesha: Kesha’s high-energy The Freedom Tour comes to the D.C. area on Aug. 14 at Jiffy Lube Live.
  • ALOK: On Sept. 3 at Lincoln Theater, ALOK (they/them) performs. The poet, comedian, and actor is putting on a new comedy show.
  • 2charm, the emerging Australian electronic club-pop duo popular with the queer community, which blends hyperpop and dance music, comes to the Atlantis.
  • Sapphic Dance Party: a vibrant, inclusive nightlife and social event designed specifically for queer women, lesbians, bisexuals, trans individuals, and nonbinary folks, at Atlantis on Aug. 21.
  • Jazz in the Garden: The most quintessential of D.C. activities returns Friday evenings through Aug. 14. This season’s theme, “American Sounds,” is a nod to the nation’s 250th anniversary. Tunes themes range from Appalachian and Americana to Creole jazz, Hill Country blues, contemporary jazz, and more. Tickets are available through a lottery system a week before each event.
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Tickets on sale for chef Patrick O’Connell’s book launch event

Sept. 18 kickoff to feature José Andrés, Tom Sietsema

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Acclaimed chef Patrick O’Connell is preparing to publish his new memoir, “Main, Middle & Gay” in September and he’s launching the book with an event on Sept. 18 at 6 p.m. at Lisner Auditorium featuring Chef José Andrés and former Washington Post food critic Tom Sietsema.

Tickets for the event go on sale Tuesday, July 21 at Ticketmaster; prices start at $55.

 O’Connell, who’s gay, is the pioneering Michelin-starred chef and longtime proprietor of the Inn at Little Washington. He spoke with the Blade about the September event and the launch of his first memoir.

 “I’ve known [Andrés and Sietsema] for more than 25 years and I have great respect for them,” O’Connell said. “I felt that it would allow us to add a different dimension rather than just have an interviewer. The chemistry will be fun and lively and unpredictable and exciting. I think we’re all different personalities and we’ll compliment each other.”

O’Connell has published cookbooks but this is his first memoir. The event will feature a short film that will highlight his work and the Inn.

“What I hope to do with the event is bring the book to life visually,” he said. “So we’re producing a short film that will be part of it. Most of the audience will not have read the book so it’ll give them a visual flavor of the book. It parallels the evolution of American cuisine over 50 years. It’s a rare perspective to be in the trenches for that long.”

The book’s title refers to the location of the garage on the corner of Main, Middle, and Gay streets in Washington, Va., where he launched his restaurant that became an international culinary destination. 

The Blade will publish the rest of its wide-ranging interview with O’Connell in September in conjunction with the book’s release.

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The queer Asian comics building collective joy in D.C.

Spotlighting chaotic ways family, romance, identity take shape in their lives

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Alex Kim performs at the Pride Comedy Special in Washington, D.C., on June 18, 2026. (Photo by Christina Lee/VOICES)

Kevin Chen’s family tombstone has room for four: him, his parents and his boyfriend. The arrangement might prove to be a little awkward. 

“My boyfriend is 100% white, and my parents are 100% disappointed,” Chen confessed.

Jokes about family traditions and the untraditional ways they’re practiced earned a burst of laughs at the bar where Chen was opening for the Pride Comedy Special. The D.C. stand-up event, produced by Comedy Bonfyre last month, spotlighted queer Asian comics who shared the chaotic ways family, romance and identity take shape in their lives. 

From candid oral sex takes to top surgery hypotheticals like “Where do the boobs go?”, the night highlighted the loud camaraderie of the queer Asian experience — one that sounds like a cacophony of snorts, cackles and belly laughs. While the comics say they are not quite a community, there’s more than enough shared material to bring them together. 

“It was such a magical experience. I loved performing in a queer API lineup. It feels so validating,” Chen said after the show. “I’m wondering, ‘Is this how white men feel all the time?’”

Each performance evoked queer Asian joy through a medium that could use more of its presence.

According to Chen, who is based in D.C., it’s hard to say whether there is a true queer Asian comedy presence in his city. There are only a scattered “handful” of Asian comics, and people of color are underrepresented in queer comic circles, he said. 

When Tarunika Anand, a nonbinary lesbian comic, first entered the mainstream D.C. comedy scene, they mostly encountered straight white men, describing the experience as “a culture shock.”

“I feel like sometimes a lot of queer spaces are really white, and then a lot of Asian spaces are really straight,” Anand said. “I don’t feel like I fit into either.”

But feeling marginalized didn’t stop these comics from honing their craft and creating spaces for others like them. Alex Kim, who headlined the special and is based in Brooklyn, runs the queer Asian comedy group Boba Gays, which began on WhatsApp and has since made its way to Lincoln Center. 

Every Wednesday, Anand co-produces a free comedy show called Funny Side Up. The queer-led group focuses on inclusivity and showcasing new talent.

“It’s really beautiful to speak about your experience and your existence in a way that’s uplifting,” Anand said. 

Family is a major throughline of their comedic repertoires. 

Chen, for instance, shared that he identifies with jokes about having Asian immigrant parents and the expectations they pass down. 

“You see me, you know this part about me, you know this experience intimately, and I can see the truth that you’re trying to wrap a joke around,” he said. “That hits even harder because that’s my truth too. I think that’s what makes good comedy.”

Anand had the audience at the special howling when they explained that their parents’ be-more-like-them comparisons didn’t end when they came out. Instead, the expectations took on a new form. 

“Now, my parents want me to be the best gay,” Anand said. “They’re like, ‘Do you know Ellen DeGeneres?’” 

Kim said he’s been trying to unlearn things from his Christian Korean mom. Yet he described a moment when he was getting ready for the club and realized he looked just like his mother getting ready for church. 

“I’ve been finding it hard to escape her,” Kim said. 

Mutual recognition also radiates through the different ways queer love can take shape. From singlehood to death-do-us-part commitments, the comics cover just about every corner.

Anand is holding out hope for settling down with “a nice, pretty, Indian girl.” They recently went through a breakup and said they felt they dodged a bullet. 

“As a person of color, I just don’t think I should be with a Swiftie,” they said. 

Chen, touching on what it’s like to be in a queer interracial relationship, said that meeting his white boyfriend’s baby nephew for the first time felt like he was forced to participate in a diversity, equity and inclusion training. 

“The dad was like, ‘Please welcome Kevin. Be curious about his culture, his history, his foods,’” Chen joked. 

Laughter is not the only reward for the comics.

To Anand, comedy is a space where they can say whatever they want. “It gives me a voice,” they said. 

Nik Narain, a North Carolina-based trans and nonbinary South Asian comic who performed at the special, said meeting older trans comedians and taking the stage helped him feel reassured in his identity during his transition. 

“Stand-up was a really cool way to process that onstage,” he said. “[It] became a way for me to repackage my thoughts.”

Queer Asians are still figuring out their place in the greater D.C. comedy scene. The group is small in numbers and many are still working toward a full-time comedy career. But Narain feels he’s already made it.

Narain is reluctant to pin it all on one moment. He feels that success is already peeking through in milestones — opening for celebrities, traveling to performances and self-producing shows.

“As long as I can keep doing this, I’m super happy,” he said.

This story was produced as part of the AAJA VOICES fellowship program, a student journalism project of the Asian American Journalists Association (AAJA).

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