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Queer writer reflects on assault, drug use, more in ‘Mean Boys’

An interview with Geoffrey Mak

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(Book cover image via Amazon)

Queer Chinese American writer Geoffrey Mak takes the personal essay to new, and sometimes unsettling, heights, in his book “Mean Boys: A Personal History” (Bloomsbury, 2024). Described as a “memoir-in-essays,” Mak, the gay son of an evangelical minister, takes readers on his volatile and visceral personal journey, which includes the techno clubs of Berlin, various illicit substances, his sexual assault, and ultimately an examination of mass-murderer Elliot Rodger. Mak generously made time for an interview in advance of his November appearance at the Miami Book Fair.

BLADE: In the author’s note for your book “Mean Boys: A Personal History,” you said, “I wrote most of these essays for the Internet,” and that awareness of your readership extended to “what they wanted to hear, and what they were wearing.” Is that still your target audience or were you looking to expand it with the book?

GEOFFREY MAK: If I could go back in time and inspire my 26-year-old self to keep writing, I would say, “Babe, in 10 years, you’ll get everything you’ve ever dreamed of, just online-only.” I still see the natural habitat of the personal essay; yet the internet has a tendency for fragmentation and bubbles. When I decided to write a book at a mainstream press, I thought a lot about how a book—unlike a painting—is a mass-produced object, which makes it a more democratic medium, almost humble. I thought a lot about the opportunity to reach readers in Idaho or Oregon or Arkansas, and, in fact, I now get emails or Instagram DMs from readers in all those states. I wanted to explore universal themes that anyone can relate to, such as the wages of status in a high school cafeteria, or the process of forgiving one’s own father.

BLADE: You also mentioned James Baldwin and Joan Didion, as well as Ed White, Hilton Als, and Alan Hollinghurst, among others. How important are these writers to you in your work?

MAK: I love that you called him Ed, because he is Ed. Each of those writers gave me something that is a part of me. Baldwin: conviction. Didion: cadence. White: self-mythology. Als: voice. Hollinghurst: sex.

BLADE: Another writer, Wesley Yang, is featured prominently in the “Identity Despite Itself” essay. Do you know if he’s aware of being the essay’s subject? If so, has he told you how he feels about it?

MAK: Marco Roth, a friend, was one of the founding editors of n+1, and commissioned and edited Wesley Yang’s remarkable essay, “The Face of Seung-Hui Cho” when it came out in 2008. After Marco read my book, he sent it to him. In Marco’s view, I had at last given Yang his due: taking him as seriously as he deserved, which is something any writer should be flattered by. And I did take him seriously, calling him into account for his internalized Asian racism and transphobia. As to what Yang actually thinks, I have no idea. Can you believe it: Not a single person I wrote about in the book has reached out to me about it?

BLADE: In “My Father, The Minister,” you address religion, not only as the son of a religious leader but also as a gay man. Religion continues to make headlines, whether it’s the role it’s playing in the 2024 election, the ongoing sexual abuse scandals in the various churches, or the war in Gaza. What role, if any, does religion play in your life at present?

MAK: I pay close attention to the religious life of this country. Two-thirds consider themselves religious. A lot of what I read disturbs me, nothing is surprising to me. I was heartened when, earlier this year, the United Methodist Church rescinded a ban on gay clergy. It was a rare victory because sexual difference remains the greatest divisive factor in American churches today. The articulation of the queer, Christian subject might be my highest priority as a writer today. (Out of all my essays, I consider “California Gothic” my greatest work.) I don’t participate in organized religion, but I still study the Bible and read queer theology, particularly the work of Marcella Althaus-Reid and Linn Tonstad, major influences of mine. I count theologians as some of my closest friends. I was actually just emailing with the writer Garth Greenwell about how 4th-century apophatic theology has parallels with queer theory today. I’m currently writing a novel about a trans-femme protagonist who finds her way to God. I’m quite serious. Sometimes, I dream that if this whole writer career doesn’t pan out, I might go to Divinity School.

BLADE: You also write honestly about your drug usage in “Mean Boys.” There’s a line in the “California Gothic” essay that reads: “After psychosis, and after addiction, I knew that whether I would recover came down to a single test: Could I find grace in the ordinary?” Where are you now on that journey?

MAK: I happen to be sober now, but I have cycled through periods of limited drug use and sobriety since I finished that essay. I belong to a harm reduction community that keeps me accountable to my self-stated goals. For several years, I have had a buddy system, which differs from a sponsor relationship because it’s non-hierarchical, with a friend I’m extremely close with—we regularly check in with cravings, take stock of our weekly stressors, talk about books. If we ever call the other, we know to drop whatever we’re doing and pick up, because it’s an emergency. One night, he called me when he relapsed on meth, and I ran straight to his apartment, we flushed out the syringes, and cried in each other’s arms until the sleeping pills kicked in. Since then, he’s been sober for almost two years. Recently, I’ve been talking to him about “junk time,” which are the late-night brain rot hours when I can’t read and crave drugs the most. I need to start finding grace in the ordinariness of junk time. Thanks for the reminder.

BLADE: What was involved in your decision to write about the aftermath of your sexual assault in the essay “In Arcadia Ego?”

MAK: OK, so the first section of that essay originated as a Facebook post. People reached out with caring words, although the writing partly explored my reaching a limit with caring words. The material was so raw that I put it down for at least a few years. After I had some distance from my own assault, I picked up the essay again and suddenly realized I was bored of my own pain. It wasn’t going to teach me anything, because suffering isn’t a university. I wanted to party, so I wrote about that. Nothing about this was virtuous or wholesome or dignified. I got fucked up and screamed with my gays on the dance floor like sorority girls at a bachelorette party. In a previous era, you had a party to commemorate an occasion. My friends and I partied for no reason; the party justified itself. Life is like this, too. You never need a reason.

BLADE: Was the lengthy, titular essay that closes out the book, the first essay written for the book, and therefore the inspiration?

MAK: It was the last essay I finished. In fact, we delayed the release date of the book because I couldn’t finish it. It’s my most original writing and original thinking. It’s also not for everyone.

BLADE: In the “Mean Boys” essay, you write about the ultimate mean boy – mass-murderer Elliot Rodger. Did that essay begin as being about Rodger or did that come later?

MAK: This was one of the first essays I wrote where I didn’t outline it or know where it was ending up in advance. I started with an image—the Lacoste polo with the popped collar—and just kept writing. It’s meandering, because that’s how I wrote it, working through the innate turbulence of each paragraph until a door appeared into the next paragraph. I eventually found my way to Rodger. There was a time I thought I could write the essay without reading the manifesto, until I realized, c’mon, I was being chicken, I had to read the manifesto. Once I finished it, I knew I had to rewrite the entire essay.

BLADE: Have you started writing or thinking about your next book project?

MAK: I’m working on a novel about degenerate ravers in Berlin. While the UK and Germany have novels about raving, America curiously doesn’t have one. So, I decided to write one.

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Memorial for groundbreaking bisexual activist set for May 2

Loraine Hutchins remembered as a ‘force of nature’

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Loraine Hutchins died last year. (File photo courtesy of Hutchins)

The Montgomery County Pride Center will host a celebration honoring the life and legacy of Loraine Hutchins, Ph.D., on May 2. People are invited to attend the onsite memorial or a livestream event. The on-site event will begin at 10 a.m. with a meet-and-greet mixer before moving into a memorial service around the theme “Loraine a Force of Nature!” at 11 a.m., a panel talk at 12 p.m., break out sessions for artists, academics, and activists to build on her legacy at 1 p.m. and a closing reception at 2 p.m. 

Attendees are encouraged to register for the on-site memorial gathering or the livestreamed memorial. The goal of this event is also to collect stories and memories of Loraine. Attendees and others can share their stories at padlet.com. 

An obituary for Hutchins was published in the Bladelast Nov. 24, where people can learn more about her activism in the bisexual community. A private service for friends and family was held in December but this memorial service is open to all. 

Alongside her groundbreaking work organizing for U.S. bisexual rights and liberation including co-editing “Bi Any Other Name: BIsexual People Speak Out” (1991), she also integrated faith into her sexual education and advocacy work. Her 2001 doctoral dissertation, “Erotic Rites: A Cultural Analysis of Contemporary U.S. Sacred Sexuality Traditions and Trends,” offered a pointed queer and feminist analysis to sex-neutral and sex-positive spiritual traditions in the United States. Her thesis was also groundbreaking in exploring the intersections between sex workers and those in caregiving professionals, including spiritual ones.

In an oral history interview conducted by Michelle Mueller back in August 2023, Hutchins described herself as a “priestess without a congregation.” While she has occasionally had a sense of community and feels part of a group of loving people, she admitted that “I don’t feel like we have the shape or the purpose that we need.”

“I’ve often experienced being the Cassandra in the room, the Cassandra in the community. Somebody who’s kind of way out there ahead, thinking through the strategic action points that my community hasn’t gotten to yet, and getting a lot of resistance and hostile responses from people who are frightened by dissent and conflict and not ready for the changes we have to make to survive,” she said.

“For somebody who’s bisexual in an out political way and who’s been a spokesperson for the polyamory movement in an out political way, it’s very exposing. And it’s very important to me to be able to try to explain and help other people understand the connection between spirituality and sexuality,” she explained citing how even as a graduate student she was “exploring how to feel erotic and spiritual, and not feel them in conflict with each other in my own spiritual contemplative life and my own sensual body awareness of being alive in the world.”

“Every religion has a sense of sacred sexuality. It’s just they put a lot of boundaries and regulations on it, and if we have a spiritual practice that is totally affirming of women’s priesthood and of gay people, queer people’s ability to minister to everyone and to be ministered to be everyone, what does that do to the gender of God, or our understanding of how we practice our spirituality and our sexuality in community and privately?”

“There’s no easy answer,” she concludes, and she continued to grapple with these questions throughout her life, co-editing another seminal text, “Sexuality, Religion and the Sacred: Bisexual, Pansexual, and Polysexual Perspectives,” published in 2012. Her work blending spiritual and queer liberation remains groundbreaking to this day. 

Rev. Eric Eldritch, a local community organizer and ordained Pagan minister with Circle Sanctuary who has worked for decades with the DC Center’s Center Faith to organize the Pride Interfaith Service, is eager to highlight this element of her legacy at the memorial service next month.  

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Queery: Meet artist, performer John Levengood

Modern creative talks nightlife, coming out, and his personal queer heroes

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John Levengood (Blade photo by Michael Key)

John Levengood (he/him) describes himself as a modern creative with a wide‑ranging toolkit. He blends music, technology, civic duty, and a sharp sense of wit into a cohesive artistic identity. Known primarily as a recording artist and performer, he’s also a self‑taught music producer and software engineer who embodies a generation of creators who build their own lanes rather than wait for one to appear.

Levengood, 32, who is single and identifies as gay and queer, is best known as a recording artist who has performed at Pride festivals across the country, including the main stages of World Pride DC, Central Arkansas Pride, and Charlotte Pride.

“Locally in the DMV, I’m known for turning heads at nightlife venues with my eye-catching sense of style. When I go out, I don’t try to blend in. I hope I inspire people to be themselves and have the courage to stand out,” he says.

He’s also known for hosting karaoke at Freddie’s Beach Bar in Arlington, Va., on Thursday nights. “I like to create a space where people feel comfortable expressing themselves, building community, and showcasing their talents.”

He also creates social media content from my performances and do interviews at LGBTQ+ bars and theatres in the DMV. Follow the Arlington resident @johnlevengood.

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I have been fully out of the closet since 2019. My parents were the hardest people to tell because my family has always been my rock and at the time I couldn’t imagine a world without them. Their reactions were extremely positive and supportive so I had nothing to fear all along.
I remember sitting on the couch with my mom, dad, and sister in our hotel room in New Orleans during our winter vacation and being so nervous to tell them. After I finally mustered up the nerve and made the proclamation, I realized my dad had already fallen asleep on the couch. My mom promised to tell him when he woke up.

Whos your LGBTQ hero?

My LGBTQ heroes are Harvey Milk for paving the way for gays in politics and Elton John for being a pioneer for the fabulous and authentic. My local heroes in the DMV are Howard Hicks, manager of Green Lantern, and Tony Rivenbark, manager of Freddie’s Beach Bar. Both of them are essential to creating spaces where I’ve felt welcome and safe since moving to the DMV.

Whats Washingtons best nightspot, past or present?

Trade tops the list for me because of the dance floor and outdoor space. It’s so nice to get a break from the music every once and a while to be able to have a conversation.

We live in challenging times. How do you cope?

I’m still figuring this out. What is working right now is writing music and spending time with family and friends. I’ve also been spending less time on social media going to the gym at least three times a week.

What streaming show are you binging?

After “Traitors” Season 4 ended, I was in a bit of a show hole, but “Stumble” has me in a laughing loop right now. The writing is so witty.

What do you wish youd known at 18?

At 18, I wish I would have known how liberating it is to come out of the closet. It would have been nice to know some winning lottery numbers as well.

What are your friends messaging about in your most recent group chat?

We are planning our next trip to New York City. If you can believe it, I visited NYC for the first time in 2025 for Pride and I’ve been back every quarter since. Growing up in the country, I was subconsciously primed to be scared of the city. But my mind has been blown. I can’t wait to go back.

Why Washington?

It’s the closest metropolitan area to my family, but not too close. I love the museums, the diversity, the history, and the proximity to the beach and mountains. It’s also nice to live in a city with public transportation.

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Project GLOW celebrates LGBTQ acts

D.C.’s electronic music festival set for May 30-31

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A scene from last year’s Project GLOW. (Photo courtesy organizers)

Aging RFK Stadium has come down, but the RFK grounds are still getting lit up. Welcome back to the stage Project GLOW, D.C.’s homegrown electronic festival, on May 30-31. Back for its fifth year on these musically inclined acres, Project GLOW returns with an even more diverse lineup, and one that continues to celebrate LGBTQ antecedents, attendees, and acts.

Project GLOW 2026 headliners include house and techno star Mau P, progressive house legend Eric Prydz, hard-techno favorite Sara Landry, and bass acts Excision b2b Sullivan King, among the lineup of trance, bass, house, techno, dubstep, and others for the fifth anniversary year.

President & CEO Pete Kalamoutsos — born and raised in D.C. — founded Club GLOW in 1999. In 2020, GLOW entered into a partnership with global entertainment company Insomniac Events to produce live events like Project GLOW, which kicked off in 2022.

As in past years, Project GLOW not only makes space, but is intentionally inclusive of the LGBTQ community, one of its most dedicated fan bases. The festival’s LGBTQ-focused Secret Garden stage blooms again — a more intimate dance area that stands on the strength of DJs and musicians who draw from the LGBTQ community. D.C.’s LGBTQ nightlife mastermind Ed Bailey is the creative mind behind Secret Garden again. He joined Project GLOW in 2023.

“Kalamoustos says that “he’s proud of his partnership with Ed Bailey, along with Capital Pride and [nightlife producer] Jake Resnikow. It’s amazing to collaborate with Bailey at the Secret Garden stage, especially after the curated lineup we worked on at Pride last year.”

The Secret Garden will be a bit different from other stages: Eternal (“At the Eternal stage, time stands still. Lose yourself in the dance of past, present, and future, surrendering to the eternal rhythm of the universe”) and Pulse (“Feel the rhythm of the beat pulse through your veins as the heartbeat of the crowd synchronizes into one. Here, every moment vibrates with life as it guides you through a new dimension of euphoria”). The Secret Garden stage is in the round, surrounded by 16 shipping containers. The containers play canvas to muralists from around the world, who are coming in to paint them in a vibrant garden-style vibe. “We gave this stage some extra love with this layout,” K says, “ we finally cracked the code.”

K says that this will be the biggest lineup yet for the Secret Garden, featuring Nicole Moudaber b2b Chasewest, Riordan b2b Bullet Tooth, Ranger Trucco, Cassian, Eli & Fur, Cosmic Gate and Hayla. The stage is also the largest yet, featuring an expanded dance floor and 360-degree viewing.

Across all stages, K says that his goal for the fifth anniversary is “More art and fan interactive experience, more like a festival, strive to be like a Tomorrowland, as budget grows to add more experience.” Last year’s Project GLOW alone drew 40,000 attendees over two days.

K, however, was not satisfied with one festival this spring. GLOW recently announced a “pop-up” one-day event. Teaming up with Black Book Records, GLOW is set to throw a first-of-its-kind dance-music takeover of Pennsylvania Avenue, N.W., headlined by electronic music star Chris Lake. Set for April 18, this euphoric block party will feature bass and vibes blocks from the White House. Organizers expect as many as 10,000 fans to attend. Beyond music, there will be food, activations, and plenty of other activities taking place around 6th St and Pennsylvania Ave NW – a location familiar to many in the LGBTQ community, as this sits squarely inside the blocks of the Capital Pride party that takes place in DC every June.

Over the past two decades, Club GLOW has produced thousands of events, from club nights to large-scale festivals including Project GLOW, Moonrise Festival, and more. Club GLOW also operates Echostage.

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