Obituary
Tom Flournoy, avid cyclist and engineer, dies at 69
Celebration of life planned for Nov. 23
Tom Flournoy died in his sleep the morning of Oct. 27, 2024. He was 69.
He was born in Washington, D.C. After graduating from Woodbridge Senior High School and Old Dominion University, he launched a successful career as a professional engineer, specializing in transportation projects from planning to final design, according to a statement from his partner.
Projects he worked on included roadways, highways, bridges, transit facilities, commuter rail, and bike and pedestrian facilities. Many, if not most, were in the D.C. area, including Arlington County, which became Tom’s home in 1989. In his last position as VP at STV Inc., Tom was instrumental in starting and growing STV’s D.C. office, which is still thriving.
Tom was justifiably proud of his career as an engineer, during which he acted as a mentor to many younger engineers, launching them on successful careers of their own. He liked to tell stories of the time he went to Saudi Arabia to teach bridge engineering classes, and when traveling, he made sure to point out interesting bridges, some of which he had worked on. But proud as he was of it, Tom’s career was not the only focus of his life, according to friends.
Upon retirement in 2015, Tom reflected, “I became rewired and self-contained, which is another great word. In bicycle touring it means you aren’t dependent. You are self-contained and not relying on SAG (support and gear). And that is how I will approach the coming years, rewired and self-contained! This is not meant to exclude my great friends, past, present and future, but more the independent spirit that I learned a long time ago when I rode solo across Italy in 1991!”
After retirement, Tom’s life focused on two passions: opera and cycling. Tom’s love of opera developed somewhat late in life, but it was intense. Among his favorites were La Boheme, Lakme, Billy Budd, and, last but not least, Wagner’s Ring Cycle. He was a long-time subscriber to the Washington National Opera. Most often with his partner Laurent, he also attended performances at many of the great opera houses of the U.S. and Europe, including New York, Chicago, San Francisco, Paris, London, Vienna, and Prague. His most recent opera trip was to Berlin, to see the Deutsche Oper’s Ring Cycle. He was with Laurent at the Washington National Opera’s Wagner tribute on Oct. 26.
First and foremost, though, Tom was an avid cyclist, especially long-distance cycle touring. A few years ago, he said, “I feel ageless, or used to. Age does creep up on us. Feeling ageless may sound like an old metaphor but I attribute that feeling to my love of cycling and, in particular, my love of long-distance cycle touring.”
Indeed, Tom loved going on long bike tours that often lasted weeks, either on his own or with friends, especially, in the last few years, with his close friend Mark. Tom’s first big bike tour was in 1988, when he first went to France with his then significant other, Doug Wolfer, and two friends. They biked from Paris to Chartres, to the Loire Valley, and onto Vichy, Lyon, Dijon, and back to Paris. As Tom put it, after that trip, he was hooked. Since then, he returned to France several times and also toured in Italy, Germany, Switzerland, Austria, the Czech Republic, Spain, Portugal, and, most recently, the Balkans from Vienna to Bucharest via Slovakia, Hungary, Croatia, Serbia, and Bulgaria.
In the U.S., Tom toured in Montana and Wyoming (an extension of Cycle Montana), Rhode Island, and Massachusetts (Providence to Provincetown), North Carolina and Virginia (Skyline Drive and the Blue Ridge Parkway), Tennessee to Louisiana (Natchez Trace Parkway and the Mississippi River Trail to New Orleans), Vermont and New York (around Lake Champlain), the entire East Coast from Key West to Halifax (Canada), and a circular loop through Canada starting in Vermont that took him through Montréal, up the P’tit Train du Nord Rail Trail, back down to Ottawa, and then around lake Ontario, across the Erie Canal, down the Hudson River to New York, and from there, through New Jersey and Delaware to home, in Arlington. Tom also did many local rides in the DMV area. Some of his favorites took him to Rock Creek Park, Hains Point, and the surrounding suburbs of Virginia and Maryland. For extended local rides, he loved to head out west to the Marshall area to enjoy the mountains.
He was also a data geek. Since 2012, when he first started recording rides on Ride with GPS, he logged 1,533 rides with a distance of over 55,439 miles. He also climbed 2,597,322 feet, including conquering two of the famed Swiss passes, Simplonpass and Grimselpass, at the ripe age of 61 on a fully loaded touring bike.
Cycling was Tom’s passion; he also wanted it to be his legacy. So, in 2019, he set up the “Bonsource Cyclist Fund” through the Arlington Community Foundation. Bonsource was Tom’s cycling handle or nickname for many years. The goals and objectives of the Bonsource Cyclist Fund are to support and encourage access to bicycling for people of all ages through, primarily, infrastructure projects, but also through tangible and intangible programs. These could be infrastructure improvements that make a significant contribution to the bicycling network and are in need of funding in whole or in part; support for more routine but necessary infrastructure improvements; the renovation of maintenance or existing bicycle infrastructure; and programs that encourage people to enjoy bicycling or promote bicycling in general.
In the same spirit, over the last few years, Tom helped to instill a love of cycling in local youth. He volunteered as a mentor and ride leader for Phoenix Bikes, a non-profit organization whose mission is to educate youth, promote bicycling, and build community. He was also a frequent “driver” for Arlington’s Escuela Key Bicibús (East), one of three routes that helps elementary age students get to their school by bicycle.
Tom was pre-deceased by his parents, John and Margaret Flournoy, his brother Kenneth, and his partner Doug Wolfer. He is survived by his partner, Laurent Cartayrade; close friend Mark Nguyen; and his immediate family, including his twin brother Doug, his brother John, and his sisters Mary Beth and Trudy, according to the statement from Cartayrade.
Friends and family will celebrate Tom’s life on Nov. 23, 2024, starting at 1 p.m., at the Lyon Park Community Center, 414 North Fillmore St., in Arlington, Va. If you have a bicycling jersey, no matter how loud, feel free to wear it in his honor. With those who want to join, some will ride the 1.2 miles from his residence at Hyde Park, 4141 North Henderson Road, to the celebration, departing at 12:45 p.m.
Contributions in his memory can be made to the Bonsource Cyclist Fund, bit.ly/bonsource.
Obituary
Rev. Peter Leland DeGroote dies at 86
Trailblazing gay United Methodist pastor once worked at Blade
(The following statement was prepared by friends of Rev. Peter Leland DeGroote.)
Peter Leland DeGroote, a trailblazing gay United Methodist pastor, was born on January 19, 1940, to Leland Peter and Lea (Sitnik) DeGroote in Rochester, New York. The family moved to Syracuse during Peter’s early years. Peter had an older stepbrother, Robert, and brother, Joseph, and was followed by three sisters—Mary, Martha and Margaret. Lea, their mother, had been Roman Catholic but was ostracized from her parish after marrying a Protestant. So she took the children to Lafayette Street Methodist Church every Sunday for worship and Christian education.
Peter attended West Virginia Wesleyan University, graduating with a bachelor’s degree in psychology in 1961. While he considered a career in pastoral ministry—his brother Joseph was a long-time United Methodist clergy—Peter thought that his same-sex orientation would hinder his career in the church. He enlisted in the U.S. Army in October 1961 and served a three-year term, spending one year in Heidelberg, Germany. This provided the opportunity to explore Europe. In August 1964, he was granted early release and honorable discharge to go to school.
He began graduate studies in public administration at American University in Washington, D.C. Peter met Tom McKain in January 1967 and they began a five-year relationship and remained best friends thereafter. One of Peter’s professors was an executive with the International City Management Association (ICMA) who recognized Peter’s talents and arranged for him to help with some projects there. During summers Peter directed camping programs at the YMCA’s Camp Letts in Edgewater, Md. While he worked on a Ph.D. and did some teaching at American University, he did not complete his dissertation and so received an M.A. degree in 1971.
In 1972, Peter was hired to initiate the ICMA Retirement Corporation (now MissionSquare Retirement) in order to develop a portable retirement plan for local government administrators. During his 16 years directing the ICMA-RC, the plan grew to over $1 billion in assets and over 100,000 participants. At his retirement in 1988, Peter was heralded as having “done a remarkable job in helping create one of the most outstanding retirement corporations in the country and is probably the most knowledgeable person in this field.”
In the 1970s Peter volunteered with the production of a gay newspaper in Washington, D.C., serving as news editor of the Washington Blade for three months in 1975. Peter met Leslie Lugo in Fort Lauderdale in 1977. Leslie moved to D.C. the next year and they were in a seven- year relationship and remained good friends in the years following.
In 1984, Peter joined Foundry U.M. Church, where his college friend Rev. Don Stewart was on the staff. Stewart told Peter about a local group of LGBT United Methodists. Peter began attending weekly worship and social gatherings with Mid-Atlantic Affirmation and became deeply involved in providing leadership and hospitality for the group.
Peter proposed that Foundry sponsor an Affirmation Bible Study group as part of its neighborhood Bible study program. He asked Ralph Williams to host the group and Peter led it at the onset. The Bible study group met for several years and played a significant role in the process of Foundry becoming a Reconciling Congregation in 1995, a public affirmation that LGBTQ persons were full participants in the life of the church.
In November 1988, Peter made a radical life change as he retired from ICMA-RC and began an international romantic adventure, moving to Caracas, Venezuela. However, in a tragic turn of events, Peter was abducted and later found abandoned in a rural area, badly injured. Peter recounted that, as he lay suffering and awaiting rescue, he prayed that if he recovered he would commit to entering the ministry. After returning to Washington, D.C., and spending time in healing and recovery, Peter enrolled at Wesley Theological Seminary, graduating with honors and an M.Div. degree in 1994.
Peter resolved to challenge the United Methodist Church’s ban on the ordination of LGBTQ clergy. He began the ordination candidacy process at Foundry, stating publicly that he was gay and willing to be celibate. He steadily moved forward through the process and was eventually approved by the Baltimore-Washington Conference in a close vote. He was ordained deacon on June 13, 1993, and elder on June 16, 1996.
Peter served in active ministry for 16 years serving these congregations: Shady Side (1993-1996); Centenary Baltimore (1996-1998); Back River Essex (1998-2003); College Park (2003-2004); Foundry as associate (2004-2006) and The United Church (2006-2009). Peter retired from ministry in 2009. One of Peter’s noteworthy achievements during these years was the formation of BWARM (Baltimore-Washington Area Reconciling United Methodists). When Bishop John Schol arrived in Baltimore-Washington in 2004, he announced his intention to meet with various ethnic and gender groups in the conference. Peter challenged the bishop to also meet with LGBTQ members. The bishop asked Peter to arrange such a meeting. Peter invited a cross-section of LGBTQ persons and allies from around the conference to converse with the bishop. As a result of that meeting, this network of persons began to organize what has become a strong, influential BWARM group.
In retirement, Peter continued annual summer excursions to Rehoboth Beach with friends, involvement at Foundry U.M. Church and enjoying reading and writing. On May 13, 2025, the Baltimore-Washington Chapter of the Methodist Federation for Social Action honored Peter with its God’s Foolish One Award. After a period of declining health, he died on May 9, 2026.
He is survived by his sister, Martha Straub; her son, James Oliver, and his husband; long-time companion Luis Herrera; caregivers Michael Thompson and Ralph Williams and numerous dear friends. A memorial service, followed by a luncheon, will be held at 10 a.m. on Saturday, June 27, 2026, at Foundry U.M. Church, 1500 16th St., N.W., Washington, D.C.
Obituary
Thomas A. Decker of Arlington dies at 73
Active in visiting AIDS patients, urging Congress to fight HIV
Thomas A. Decker Jr, of Arlington, Va., died March 3, 2026 following an extended illness, according to a statement released by his family. He was 73.
Born and raised in Canton, Ohio, Decker attended the University of Akron and earned his bachelor’s degree in political science. He then moved to the Washington, D.C. area and accepted a position with Beaver Press where he worked for 32 years, according to the statement.
He later worked in the Inova Juniper Program working with HIV/AIDS clients to assist them with support services and was active as a volunteer visiting AIDS patients in the hospital or advocating on Capitol Hill for HIV funding.
Tommy, as he was called by family, is survived by three sisters, a sister-in-law and two brothers-in-law: Carol Decker and Kathryn Kramer of West Newbury, MA, Margaret and Thomas Williams of Bluffton, SC, Mary Sue and Timothy Desiato of New Philadelphia, Ohio, Niece’s Trina and Chad Wedekind of Jacksonville Fl and great niece Isabella, Lindsay and Will Burgette of Dublin, Ohio and great nephews Colin and Luke and Nephews David Williams of Jacksonville, Florida, and Michael and Lucy Desiato of Dublin, Ohio and great nieces Lena and Stella. In accordance with Tom’s wishes, he will be buried at Calvary Cemetery in Massillon, Ohio.
District of Columbia
Acclaimed bisexual activist, author Loraine Hutchins dies at 77
Lifelong D.C.-area resident was LGBTQ rights advocate, sex educator
Loraine Adele Hutchins, a nationally known and acclaimed advocate for bisexual and LGBTQ rights, co-author and editor of a groundbreaking book on bisexuality, and who taught courses in sexuality, and women’s and LGBTQ studies at a community college in Maryland, died Nov. 19 from complications related to cancer. She was 77.
Hutchins, who told the Washington Blade in a 2023 interview that she self-identified as a bisexual woman, is credited with playing a lead role in advocating for the rights of bisexual people on a local, state, and national level as well as with LGBTQ organizations, many of which bi activists have said were ignoring the needs of the bi community up until recent years.
“Throughout her life, Loraine dedicated herself to working and speaking for those who might not be otherwise heard,” her sister, Rebecca Hutchins, said in a family write-up on Loraine Hutchins’s life and career.
Born in Washington, D.C., and raised in Takoma Park, Md., Rebecca Hutchins said her sister embraced their parents’ involvement in the U.S. civil rights movement.
“She was a child of the ‘60s and proudly recalls attending Martin Luther King’s ‘I Have a Dream’ speech with her mother on the D.C. Mall,” she says in her write-up. “She was steeped in the civil rights movement, was a member of the Student Non-Violent Coordinating Committee, and was proud to say she had an FBI record.”
The write-up says Hutchins received a bachelor’s degree from Shimer College in Mount Carroll, Ill. in 1970, and a Ph.D. in 2001 from Union Institute. It says she was also a graduate of the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality’s Sexological Bodyworkers certification training program.
The family write-up says in the 1970s Hutchins became involved with efforts to assist tenants, including immigrant tenants, in affordable housing programs in D.C.’s Adams Morgan neighborhood.
“In 1991, she co-authored the groundbreaking book, ‘Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People SPEAK OUT’ with friend and colleague Lani Ka’ahumanu,” the write-up says. It notes that the acclaimed book has been republished three times and in 2007 it was published in Taiwan in Mandarin.
According to the write-up, Hutchins delivered the keynote address in June 2006 at the Ninth International Conference on Bisexuality, Gender and Sexual Diversity. In October 2009, D.C.’s Rainbow History Project honored her as one of its Community Pioneers for her activist work.
“Loraine is one of the few people who has explained, defended and championed bisexuality and made sure the “B” got into the LGBT acronym,” the Rainbow History Project says on its website in a 2009 statement. “Sensitivity to bisexual issues, civil rights, and social justice issues is Loraine’s life work,” the statement concludes.
The write-up by her sister says that up until the time of her retirement, Hutchins taught women’s and LGBT studies as well as health issues in sexuality at Montgomery Community College and Towson University in Maryland.
“She was a friend and mentor to many in the LGBTQ community,” it says. “She thoroughly enjoyed adversarial banter on the many topics she held dear: sexuality, freedom of speech, civil rights, needs and support of those with disabilities, especially in the area of mobility, assisted housing, liberal politics and many other causes,” it points out.
She retired to the Friends House community in Sandy Springs, Md., where she continued her activism, the write-up concludes.
Hutchins was among several prominent bisexual activists interviewed by the Washington Blade at the time of her retirement in June 2023 for a story on the status of the bisexual rights movement. She noted that, among other things, in her role as co-founder the organizations BiNet USA and the Alliance of Multicultural Bisexuals, she joined her bi colleagues in prodding national LGBTQ advocacy organizations to improve their advocacy work for bisexuals, which Hutchins said had been inadequate in the past but had been improving in recent years.
Hutchins is survived by her sister, Rebecca Hutchins; her husband, Dave Lohman; nephew, Corey Lohman and his wife Teah Duvall Lohman; and cousins, the family write-up says.
It says a private memorial service was scheduled for December and a public memorial service recognizing her contributions to the LGBTQ community will be held in the spring of 2026.
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