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Queery: Hamid Lagder

The local artist answers 20 gay questions

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Hamid Lagder (Blade photo by Michael Key)

Hamid Lagder knows four languages — his native Arabic, the French he studied in his native Marrakech, Morocco, the Russian he mastered during his seven years there and, of course, English. He’s mostly lived in Washington since winning a Green Card lottery and arriving here in 2005.

Lagder doesn’t claim to have any special affinity for mastering new languages. He just adapts to where he is and his needs at the time. What he’s most passionate about is painting. He works by day as an IT manager for an e-commerce company but has been painting since he was a child.

“I could paint all day long,” Lagder, 45, says. “Maybe if I still lived in Morocco I could do it full time but the situation there is different. Here you have to pay bills and everything.”

He’s having his first exhibition Thursday at Puro Café Bar & Lounge (1529 Wisconsin Ave., N.W.) from 7-10 p.m. (one night only). About 12 of the acrylics on canvas — landscapes and abstract — will be on display. More information is at hlagder.com.

“There are so many things you can express in art,” he says. “A lot of these works tell a story.”

Lagder says it wasn’t particularly hard for him to come to terms with being gay, though he’s not out to his family in Morocco, where he visits once or twice per year.

“The gay life you have in Europe and America just doesn’t exist there,” he says. “They would probably think it was just something to be cured. They wouldn’t understand at all.”

Lagder, who loves Western pop culture, enjoys painting and traveling in his free time. He’s single and lives on H Street. (Blade photo by Michael Key)

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I have been out to friends since I moved to this country seven years ago.  The hardest person to tell was a close straight friend.

Who’s your LGBT hero?

Wanda Sykes. Everything she says and does makes me laugh, every gesture.

What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present? 

Sax is one of the best nightspots in D.C. I love the interior and the music. It’s just what D.C. needs — an upscale lounge on 11 and H streets, N.W.

Describe your dream wedding.

I’d skimp on the wedding and splurge on the honeymoon! I love to travel so I’d want to go somewhere I haven’t been yet, like Buenos Aires.

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?

The alarming decline in non-supernatural characters on HBO’s “True Blood,” and the state of the economy.

What historical outcome would you change?

They should never have cancelled “Knots Landing.” And I wish Princess Diana was still alive.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

The recent deaths of gone-too-soon Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston.

On what do you insist?

Honesty. And no ice in my Diet Coke.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

On Facebook, I posted one of the paintings that will be featured in my upcoming art show.

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

“50 Shades of Gay”

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

I’d make doctors’ appointments for all of my hot straight friends.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world? 

I was raised Muslim and while I am not, obviously, adhering strictly to that faith I do believe in God/Allah.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

Keep up the good work!

What would you walk across hot coals for?

Certainly not for fun. Who is asking me to walk across hot coals anyway?

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

That all gay men in D.C. are pretentious.

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?

“The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert”

What’s the most overrated social custom?

Paying taxes.

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

I value my friends but they refuse to sit still on my mantle. I’d love to be recognized for my art someday.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

That washboard abs don’t come easy. That in the blink of an eye I’d be 45.

Why Washington?

I have great friends here and I think D.C. is one of the greatest cities on the planet. There is so much to see and do and learn here! And I love the art museums, of course.

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Photos

PHOTOS: National Champagne Brunch

Gov. Beshear honored at annual LGBTQ+ Victory Fund event

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Gov. Andy Beshear (D-Ky.) speaks at the LGBTQ+ Victory Fund National Champagne Brunch on Sunday, April 19. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The LGBTQ+ Victory Fund National Champagne Brunch was held at Salamander Washington DC on Sunday, April 19. Gov. Andy Beshear (D-Ky.) was presented with the Allyship Award.

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

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Photos

PHOTOS: Night of Champions

Team DC holds annual awards gala

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Team DC President Miguel Ayala speaks at the Night of Champions Awards Gala at the Georgetown Marriott on Saturday, April 18. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The umbrella LGBTQ sports organization Team D.C. held its annual Night of Champions Gala at the Georgetown Marriott on Saturday, April 18. Team D.C. presented scholarships to local student athletes and presented awards to Adam Peck, Manuel Montelongo (a.k.a. Mari Con Carne), Dr. Sara Varghai, Dan Martin and the Centaur Motorcycle Club. Sean Bartel was posthumously honored with the Most Valuable Person Award.

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

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Television

‘Big Mistakes’ an uneven – but worthy – comedic showcase

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Taylor Ortega and Dan Levy in ‘Big Mistakes.’ (Photo courtesy of Netflix)

In the years since “Schitt’s Creek” wrapped up its six season Emmy-winning run, nostalgia for it has grown deep – especially since the still painfully recent loss of its iconic leading lady, Catherine O’Hara, whose sudden passing prompted a social media wave of clips and tributes featuring her fan-favorite performance as the deliciously daft Moira Rose. Revisiting so many favorite scenes and funny moments from the show naturally reminded us of just how much we loved it, even needed it during the time it was on the air; it also reminded us of how much we miss it, and how much it feels now like something we need more than ever.

That, perhaps more than anything else, is why the arrival of “Big Mistakes” – the new Netflix series starring, co-created and co-written by Dan Levy – felt so welcome. We knew it wouldn’t be the Roses, but it seemed cut from the same cloth, and it had David Rose (or at least someone who seemed a lot like him) in the middle of a comically dysfunctional family dynamic, complete with a mother who gets involved in town politics and a catty sibling rivalry with his sister, and still nebbish-ly uncomfortable in his own gay shoes. Only this time, instead of running a charmingly pretentious boutique, he’s the pastor of the local church, and instead of a collection of kooky small town neighbors to contend with, there are gangsters.

As it turns out, it really does feel cut from the same cloth, but the design is distinctly different. Set in a fictional New Jersey suburb, it centers on Nicky (Levy) and his sister Morgan (Taylor Ortega) – he openly gay with an adoring boyfriend (Jacob Gutierrez), yet still obsessive about keeping it all invisible to his congregation, and she drudging aimlessly through life as an underpaid schoolteacher after failing to achieve her New York dreams of show biz success – who inadvertently become enmeshed in a shady underworld when a gesture for their dead grandmother’s funeral goes horribly awry.

They’re surrounded by a crew of equally compromised characters. There’s their mother Linda (Laurie Metcalf), whose campaign to become the town’s mayor only intensifies her tendency to micromanage her children’s lives; Yusuf (Boran Kuzum), the Turkish-American mini-mart operator who pulls them into the criminal conspiracy yet is himself a victim of it; Max (Jack Innanen), Morgan’s live-in boyfriend, who pushes her for a deeper commitment and is willing to go to couples’ therapy to prove it; Annette, his mother (Elizabeth Perkins), who lends her society standing toward helping Linda’s campaign against a misogynistic opponent (Darren Goldstein); and Ivan (Mark Ivanir), the seemingly ruthless crime boss who enslaves the siblings into his network but may really be just another slave himself. It’s a well-fleshed out assortment of characters that helps our own loyalties shift and adapt, generating at least a degree of empathy – if not always sympathy – that keeps everyone from coming off as a merely “black-and-white” caricature of expectations and typecasting.

To be sure, it’s an entertaining binge-watch, full of distinctive characters – all inhabiting familiar, even stereotypical roles in the narrative – who are each given a degree of validation, both in writing and performance, as the show unspools its narrative. At the same time, it makes for a fairly bleak overall view of humanity, in which it’s difficult to place our loyalties with anyone without also embracing a kind of “dog eat dog” morality in which nobody is truly innocent – but nobody is completely to blame for their sins, anyway.

In this way, it’s a show that lets us off the hook in the sense that it places the idea of ethical guilt within a framework of relative evils, as it permits us to forgive our own trespasses by accepting its “lovably” amoral characters, each of whom has their own reasons and justifications for what they do. We relate, but we can’t quite shake the notion that, if all these people hadn’t been so caught up in their own personal dramas, none of them would have ended up in the compromised morality that they’re in.

However, it’s not some bleak morality play that Levy and crew undertake; rather, it’s more an egalitarian fantasy in which even “bad” choices feel justified by inevitability. Everybody’s motivations make enough sense to us that it’s hard to judge any of the characters for making the choices – however unwise – that they do. In a system where everyone is forced to compromise themselves in order to achieve whatever dream of self-fulfillment they may have, how can anybody really blame themselves for doing what they have to do to survive?

Of course, all things considered, this is more a relatable comedy than it is a morality play. As a comedy of errors, it all works well enough on its own without imposing an ideology on it, no matter how much we may be tempted to do so. Indeed, what is ultimately more to the point is how well this pseudo-cynical exercise in the normalization of corruption – for that is what it really about, in the end – succeeds in letting us all off the hook for our compromises.

In the end, of course, maybe all that analysis is too deep a dive for a show that feels, in the end, like it’s meant to be mostly for fun. Indeed, despite its focus on being dragged into the shady side of life, the arc of its messaging seems to be less about a moralistic urge toward making the “right” choice than it is a candid recognition that all of us are compromised from the outset, often by choices we only force upon ourselves, and that’s a refreshing enough bit of honesty that we can easily get on board.

It helps that the performances are on point, especially the loony and wide-eyed fanaticism of Metcalf – surely the MVP of any project in which she is involved – and the directly focused moral malleability of Ortega; Levy, of course, is Levy – a now-familiar persona that can exist within any milieu without further justification than its own queer relatability – and, in this case, at least, that’s both the icing on the cake and substance that defines it. That’s enough to make it an essential view for fans, queer or otherwise, of his distinctive “brand,” even if he – or the show itself – doesn’t quite satisfy in the way that “Schitt’s Creek” was able to do.

Seriously, though, how could it?

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