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Obituary

Beloved 17th Street bartender Joey Phalin dies at 43

19-year stint at gay bars Cobalt and JR.’s made him a ‘fixture’ in Dupont

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Joey Phalin died on Sept. 8. (Photo courtesy Miller Funeral Home)

Joseph C. “Joey” Phalin, who worked from 2002 to 2021 as a bartender at the 17th Street gay bars Cobalt and JR.’s and who became a beloved figure to his customers and friends near Dupont Circle, died unexpectedly on Sept. 8 in Rochester, N.Y., where he had moved last year, according to a social media post by his brother, James Phalin.

For those who may not have seen his brother’s announcement, many who knew Joey Phalin learned of his passing from a Facebook post by JR.’s last weekend.

“It is with a heavy heart that JR’s announces the recent passing of a longtime JR’s bartender, Joey Phalin, who passed away suddenly at the tail end of last week in Rochester, N.Y,” the JR’s announcement says.

“Joey spent nearly two decades behind the bars at both Cobalt (2002-2006) and JR’s (2006-2021) and was a regular figure on 17th Street and in D.C.’s Dupont Circle neighborhood,” the announcement continues. “During his time at JR’s, Joey made amazingly strong connections with everyone he met.”

Although the official announcements have not disclosed a cause of death, friends and others who knew Phalin said he died by suicide.

His brother James’s social media posting says that in lieu of flowers for upcoming memorial celebrations of Phalin’s life, contributions may be made to the Joshua York Foundation, which is dedicated to suicide prevention.

“JR’s will be hosting a ‘Celebration of Life’ for Joey on Saturday, 17 September 2022 from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m.,” the JR’s announcement says. “We hope that you will come out to share great stories about Joey and toast to his lasting memory,” it says.

“Joey is survived by his loving fiancé Andy [Heline], his dog Bouncer, his family, and innumerable friends,” the JR’s announcement says. “On behalf of the JR’s Bar family and indeed the entire Washington, D.C. service industry, we ask that you keep them in your thoughts at this time.”

The announcement by Phalin’s brother, James Phalin, says a memorial service for Joey Phalin will be held on Thursday, Sept. 15 at 5 p.m. at the Miller Funeral and Cremation Services in Victor, N.Y. “A Celebration of Joey’s life will follow (approximately 6 p.m.) at the Victor Village Inn, 34 East Main Street, Victor, until 10 p.m.,” it says.

The town of Victor is located about 20 miles from Rochester.

The brother’s announcement says Joey Phalin is survived by his father and stepmother, Jim and Terri Phalin; his mother, Sue Kimball; fiancé, Andrew Heline; brother and sister-in-law James and Ashley Phalin; niece, Kendall Phalin; nephew, Aidan Phalin; sister, Nicole Wilcox; brother Jason Phalin; brother Brent Kimball; sister, Julie Kimball; and many dear friends in Victor and Washington, D.C.

James Phalin’s announcement also mentions the celebration of his brother’s life scheduled to take place at JR’s in D.C.

The Washington Blade couldn’t immediately reach Andrew Heline, Phalin’s life partner and fiancé.

Dito Sevilla, a longtime bartender and bar manager at Floriana Restaurant on 17th Street, called Phalin a beloved “fixture” in the 17th Street neighborhood. Sevilla said Phalin and Heline met in D.C. and became a couple before the two moved together from D.C. to Rochester last year.

“Joey Phalin was a friend and co-worker for over 16 years,” said David Perruzza, owner of the D.C. gay bars Pitchers and A League of Her Own in Adams Morgan and who worked for many years as manager of JR’s before opening his own bars.

“When you work at a bar your bar people become your family,” Perruzza wrote. “Joey was family. To everyone who knew him I’m sorry for our loss,” Perruzza wrote, adding, “to his family and to anyone who knew him, he will be missed. RIP my friend.”

Contributions to the Joshua York Foundation can be made through joshuayorkfoundation.org.

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Obituary

Rev. Peter Leland DeGroote dies at 86

Trailblazing gay United Methodist pastor once worked at Blade

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Rev. Peter Leland DeGroote

(The following statement was prepared by friends of Rev. Peter Leland DeGroote.)

Peter Leland DeGroote, a trailblazing gay United Methodist pastor, was born on January 19, 1940, to Leland Peter and Lea (Sitnik) DeGroote in Rochester, New York. The family moved to Syracuse during Peter’s early years. Peter had an older stepbrother, Robert, and brother, Joseph, and was followed by three sisters—Mary, Martha and Margaret. Lea, their mother, had been Roman Catholic but was ostracized from her parish after marrying a Protestant. So she took the children to Lafayette Street Methodist Church every Sunday for worship and Christian education.

Peter attended West Virginia Wesleyan University, graduating with a bachelor’s degree in psychology in 1961. While he considered a career in pastoral ministry—his brother Joseph was a long-time United Methodist clergy—Peter thought that his same-sex orientation would hinder his career in the church. He enlisted in the U.S. Army in October 1961 and served a three-year term, spending one year in Heidelberg, Germany. This provided the opportunity to explore Europe. In August 1964, he was granted early release and honorable discharge to go to school.

He began graduate studies in public administration at American University in Washington, D.C. Peter met Tom McKain in January 1967 and they began a five-year relationship and remained best friends thereafter. One of Peter’s professors was an executive with the International City Management Association (ICMA) who recognized Peter’s talents and arranged for him to help with some projects there. During summers Peter directed camping programs at the YMCA’s Camp Letts in Edgewater, Md. While he worked on a Ph.D. and did some teaching at American University, he did not complete his dissertation and so received an M.A. degree in 1971.

In 1972, Peter was hired to initiate the ICMA Retirement Corporation (now MissionSquare Retirement) in order to develop a portable retirement plan for local government administrators. During his 16 years directing the ICMA-RC, the plan grew to over $1 billion in assets and over 100,000 participants. At his retirement in 1988, Peter was heralded as having “done a remarkable job in helping create one of the most outstanding retirement corporations in the country and is probably the most knowledgeable person in this field.” 

In the 1970s Peter volunteered with the production of a gay newspaper in Washington, D.C., serving as news editor of the Washington Blade for three months in 1975. Peter met Leslie Lugo in Fort Lauderdale in 1977. Leslie moved to D.C. the next year and they were in a seven- year relationship and remained good friends in the years following.

In 1984, Peter joined Foundry U.M. Church, where his college friend Rev. Don Stewart was on the staff. Stewart told Peter about a local group of LGBT United Methodists. Peter began attending weekly worship and social gatherings with Mid-Atlantic Affirmation and became deeply involved in providing leadership and hospitality for the group.

Peter proposed that Foundry sponsor an Affirmation Bible Study group as part of its neighborhood Bible study program. He asked Ralph Williams to host the group and Peter led it at the onset. The Bible study group met for several years and played a significant role in the process of Foundry becoming a Reconciling Congregation in 1995, a public affirmation that LGBTQ persons were full participants in the life of the church.

In November 1988, Peter made a radical life change as he retired from ICMA-RC and began an international romantic adventure, moving to Caracas, Venezuela. However, in a tragic turn of events, Peter was abducted and later found abandoned in a rural area, badly injured. Peter recounted that, as he lay suffering and awaiting rescue, he prayed that if he recovered he would commit to entering the ministry. After returning to Washington, D.C., and spending time in healing and recovery, Peter enrolled at Wesley Theological Seminary, graduating with honors and an M.Div. degree in 1994.

Peter resolved to challenge the United Methodist Church’s ban on the ordination of LGBTQ clergy. He began the ordination candidacy process at Foundry, stating publicly that he was gay and willing to be celibate. He steadily moved forward through the process and was eventually approved by the Baltimore-Washington Conference in a close vote. He was ordained deacon on June 13, 1993, and elder on June 16, 1996.

Peter served in active ministry for 16 years serving these congregations: Shady Side (1993-1996); Centenary Baltimore (1996-1998); Back River Essex (1998-2003); College Park (2003-2004); Foundry as associate (2004-2006) and The United Church (2006-2009). Peter retired from ministry in 2009. One of Peter’s noteworthy achievements during these years was the formation of BWARM (Baltimore-Washington Area Reconciling United Methodists). When Bishop John Schol arrived in Baltimore-Washington in 2004, he announced his intention to meet with various ethnic and gender groups in the conference. Peter challenged the bishop to also meet with LGBTQ members. The bishop asked Peter to arrange such a meeting. Peter invited a cross-section of LGBTQ persons and allies from around the conference to converse with the bishop. As a result of that meeting, this network of persons began to organize what has become a strong, influential BWARM group.

In retirement, Peter continued annual summer excursions to Rehoboth Beach with friends, involvement at Foundry U.M. Church and enjoying reading and writing. On May 13, 2025, the Baltimore-Washington Chapter of the Methodist Federation for Social Action honored Peter with its God’s Foolish One Award. After a period of declining health, he died on May 9, 2026.

He is survived by his sister, Martha Straub; her son, James Oliver, and his husband; long-time companion Luis Herrera; caregivers Michael Thompson and Ralph Williams and numerous dear friends. A memorial service, followed by a luncheon, will be held at 10 a.m. on Saturday, June 27, 2026, at Foundry U.M. Church, 1500 16th St., N.W., Washington, D.C.

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Obituary

Thomas A. Decker of Arlington dies at 73

Active in visiting AIDS patients, urging Congress to fight HIV

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Thomas A. Decker Jr.

Thomas A. Decker Jr, of Arlington, Va., died March 3, 2026 following an extended illness, according to a statement released by his family. He was 73.

Born and raised in Canton, Ohio, Decker attended the University of Akron and earned his bachelor’s degree in political science. He then moved to the Washington, D.C. area and accepted a position with Beaver Press where he worked for 32 years, according to the statement. 

He later worked in the Inova Juniper Program working with HIV/AIDS clients to assist them with support services and was active as a volunteer visiting AIDS patients in the hospital or advocating on Capitol Hill for HIV funding.

Tommy, as he was called by family, is survived by three sisters, a sister-in-law and two brothers-in-law: Carol Decker and Kathryn Kramer of West Newbury, MA, Margaret and Thomas Williams of Bluffton, SC, Mary Sue and Timothy Desiato of New Philadelphia, Ohio, Niece’s Trina and Chad Wedekind of Jacksonville Fl and great niece Isabella, Lindsay and Will Burgette of Dublin, Ohio and great nephews Colin and Luke and Nephews David Williams of Jacksonville, Florida, and Michael and Lucy Desiato of Dublin, Ohio and great nieces Lena and Stella. In accordance with Tom’s wishes, he will be buried at Calvary Cemetery in Massillon, Ohio.

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District of Columbia

Acclaimed bisexual activist, author Loraine Hutchins dies at 77

Lifelong D.C.-area resident was LGBTQ rights advocate, sex educator

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Loraine Hutchins (Photo courtesy of Hutchins)

Loraine Adele Hutchins, a nationally known and acclaimed advocate for bisexual and LGBTQ rights, co-author and editor of a groundbreaking book on bisexuality, and who taught courses in sexuality, and women’s and LGBTQ studies at a community college in Maryland, died Nov. 19 from complications related to cancer. She was 77.

Hutchins, who told the Washington Blade in a 2023 interview that she self-identified as a bisexual woman, is credited with playing a lead role in advocating for the rights of bisexual people on a local, state, and national level as well as with LGBTQ organizations, many of which bi activists have said were ignoring the needs of the bi community up until recent years.

“Throughout her life, Loraine dedicated herself to working and speaking for those who might not be otherwise heard,” her sister, Rebecca Hutchins, said in a family write-up on Loraine Hutchins’s life and career.

Born in Washington, D.C., and raised in Takoma Park, Md., Rebecca Hutchins said her sister embraced their parents’ involvement in the U.S. civil rights movement.

“She was a child of the ‘60s and proudly recalls attending Martin Luther King’s ‘I Have a Dream’ speech with her mother on the D.C. Mall,” she says in her write-up.  “She was steeped in the civil rights movement, was a member of the Student Non-Violent Coordinating Committee, and was proud to say she had an FBI record.”

The write-up says Hutchins received a bachelor’s degree from Shimer College in Mount Carroll, Ill. in 1970, and a Ph.D. in 2001 from Union Institute. It says she was also a graduate of the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality’s Sexological Bodyworkers certification training program.

The family write-up says in the 1970s Hutchins became involved with efforts to assist tenants, including immigrant tenants, in affordable housing programs in D.C.’s Adams Morgan neighborhood. 

“In 1991, she co-authored the groundbreaking book, ‘Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People SPEAK OUT’ with friend and colleague Lani Ka’ahumanu,” the write-up says. It notes that the acclaimed book has been republished three times and in 2007 it was published in Taiwan in Mandarin.

According to the write-up, Hutchins delivered the keynote address in June 2006 at the Ninth International Conference on Bisexuality, Gender and Sexual Diversity. In October 2009, D.C.’s Rainbow History Project honored her as one of its Community Pioneers for her activist work.

“Loraine is one of the few people who has explained, defended and championed bisexuality and made sure the “B” got into the LGBT acronym,” the Rainbow History Project says on its website in a 2009 statement. “Sensitivity to bisexual issues, civil rights, and social justice issues is Loraine’s life work,” the statement concludes.

The write-up by her sister says that up until the time of her retirement, Hutchins taught women’s and LGBT studies as well as health issues in sexuality at Montgomery Community College and Towson University in Maryland.

“She was a friend and mentor to many in the LGBTQ community,” it says. “She thoroughly enjoyed adversarial banter on the many topics she held dear: sexuality, freedom of speech, civil rights, needs and support of those with disabilities, especially in the area of mobility, assisted housing, liberal politics and many other causes,” it points out.

She retired to the Friends House community in Sandy Springs, Md., where she continued her activism, the write-up concludes. 

Hutchins was among several prominent bisexual activists interviewed by the Washington Blade at the time of her retirement in June 2023 for a story on the status of the bisexual rights movement. She noted that, among other things, in her role as co-founder the organizations BiNet USA and the Alliance of Multicultural Bisexuals, she joined her bi colleagues in prodding national LGBTQ advocacy organizations to improve their advocacy work for bisexuals, which Hutchins said had been inadequate in the past but had been improving in recent years.

Hutchins is survived by her sister, Rebecca Hutchins; her husband, Dave Lohman; nephew, Corey Lohman and his wife Teah Duvall Lohman; and cousins, the family write-up says.  

It says a private memorial service was scheduled for December and a public memorial service recognizing her contributions to the LGBTQ community will be held in the spring of 2026.

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