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Growing number of care providers catering to LGBTQ seniors

SAGE highlights unique needs of community at Virginia event

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More healthcare providers are recognizing the unique challenges faced by LGBTQ elders. (Photo courtesy of Bigstock)

An event scheduled for Nov. 17 in Sterling, Va., described as ‘Giving Thanks to LGBTQ+ Elders: SAGE Table’ was expected to draw attention to the growing number of organizations and senior care facilities in Northern Virginia and in the D.C. metro area in general that are supportive of LGBTQ seniors.

The New York City-based national LGBTQ seniors advocacy group SAGE launched what it called SAGE Tables in 2017 as a gathering to share a meal among people of all ages to support their LGBTQ friends and family members who are seniors, in part, to alleviate social isolation.

SAGE has said hundreds of such gatherings have taken place across the country since SAGE Table events began.

The Sterling, Va., SAGE Table event was being co-hosted by five Northern Virginia-based senior care organizations or facilities that are welcoming to LGBTQ seniors, according to Karen McPhail, the CEO of Eldementals, LLC, one of the senior care providers hosting the event.

McPhail is also the founder and director of Aging Rainbows, a Great Falls, Va.-based group that advocates for LGBTQ seniors, and which is also one of the five co-hosts of the SAGE Table event in Sterling.

The other co-hosts include Insight Memory Care, a seniors care facility in Sterling where the SAGE Table event was to be held; Care Connect Nova of Purcellville, Va., a lesbian-owned company that provides in-home concierge senior care services in all parts of Northern Virginia; and Retirement Unlimited, Inc. (RUI), a Richmond, Va.-based company that provides both independent and assisted living residential facilities for seniors in Northern Virginia.

“Come enjoy an evening of dining and conversation,” a statement released by organizers of the Sterling SAGE Table event says. “SAGE Table events bring together people of all ages to share a meal and conversation,” it says. “The transformative relationships formed around a SAGE Table can alleviate social isolation and its consequences.”

McPhail said that while the senior care operators co-hosting the SAGE Table, including her company, are supportive and knowledgeable of the needs of LGBTQ seniors, not all such facilities have that knowledge and provide that support. She said she was prompted to form Aging Rainbows after witnessing first-hand inappropriate treatment toward one of her clients who is transgender.

“One of my transgender clients fell,” McPhail said. “She had a neck fracture. She had been doing well, independent, no problems before the fall,” McPhail told the Blade. “She is 63 years old and all of a sudden, she’s going to skilled nursing rehab. And they wanted to put her in a gender inappropriate room,” McPhail continued.

“And it took me hours of shielding her from what I thought was inappropriate, and educating and advocating to find the appropriate room,” she said. “I had to work over weeks to educate people who had no idea of her needs. And at that point, I sat down at my desk and said, enough. So, I created at that time all the information for starting Aging Rainbows.”

Among other things, McPhail said, Aging Rainbows advises senior care facilities she works with to enroll employees and officials in an LGBTQ competency training program operated nationally by SAGE. The facilities and organization participating in the program, called SAGECare, are designated “SAGECare credentialed” and are included in SAGE database lists available to LGBTQ elders looking for a safe and supportive facility in which to reside.

“It is the case now that in almost all states there are one or more elder care facilities that have been trained throughout our SAGECare program,” SAGE CEO Michael Adams told the Blade in a recent interview. “But it’s nowhere near where it needs to be,” he said. “It needs to be that there are welcoming elder care facilities in every single community in this country” for LGBTQ elders.

Insight Memory Care and Eldementals are SAGECare Platinum credentialed, according to SAGE spokesperson Christina Da Costa.

Da Costa told the Blade this week that there are currently 17 SAGECare credentialed organizations or facilities in the D.C. metro area. Among them is the Ingleside at Rock Creek residential seniors facility in D.C.

Under the SAGECare program, there are now 174,699 professionals trained and 748 SAGECare credentialed organizations or facilities nationwide, Da Costa said.

As of one year ago, SAGE said there were 15 elder care residential facilities in the U.S. created specifically to serve LGBTQ seniors. They are located in several of the nation’s large cities, including New York, San Francisco, and Los Angeles. But none are located in D.C., Virginia or Maryland.

Aging Rainbows, meanwhile, is among several D.C.-area organizations that provide support and services for LGBTQ seniors. The D.C. Center for the LGBT Community and Whitman-Walker Health, D.C.’s LGBTQ supportive healthcare center, have provided programs and services for LGBTQ seniors for more than a decade.

Among the regular events offered by Center Aging, the D.C. Center’s seniors program are its weekly Monday morning Coffee and Conversation gathering and its weekly Friday afternoon Tea Time gathering. Both are currently held via Zoom.

As part of its ongoing special events, the Center Aging program held an event on Saturday, July 21 called Intergenerational Hangout in which LGBTQ older adults and LGBTQ younger adults came together for a discussion about “everything and anything in the hopes of building bridges between generations and providing some laughs along the way,” according to a D.C. Center announcement of the event.

Abby Fenton, a spokesperson for Whitman-Walker Health, said the LGBTQ supportive health center has long provided supportive and affirming medical care for LGBTQ seniors who make up a large number of its patients.

Fenton said “quite a few” of Whitman-Walker’s LGBTQ seniors patients are longtime HIV survivors who feel comfortable coming to a healthcare provider with expertise and understanding of how best to keep people with HIV healthy.

Whitman-Walker Health also co-coordinates at least four peer-led support groups for LGBTQ seniors called Silver Circles, that meet once a week, according to Michael Mitchell, the Whitman-Walker coordinator of the Silver Circles program. Mitchell said the program is operated jointly by Whitman-Walker and Iona Senior Services, a D.C.-based nonprofit organization that provides services for seniors, including LGBTQ seniors.

“Iona is proud to offer programs specifically created for LGBTQ older adults, in addition to our other programs that are open to everyone, regardless of sexual orientation or gender expression,” Iona says on its website.

Mitchell said the Silver Circles groups discuss a wide range of issues of interest to LGBTQ seniors, including the subject of sex.

He said the program is supported financially by the D.C. Department of Aging and Community Living, which lists on its website community-based organizations, including Whitman-Walker, Iona, and the D.C. Center that provide services for LGBTQ seniors.

Also providing support and services for LGBTQ seniors is Capitol Hill Village, a nonprofit organization serving older adults in Capitol Hill and surrounding neighborhoods, a statement on organization’s website says. The statement says the group’s focus is on helping seniors “age in place” in their own homes by providing services from its volunteers such as home maintenance and transportation.

Like the D.C. Center’s LGBTQ seniors gathering events on Mondays and Fridays, Mitchell said all the Silver Circle gatherings continue to meet virtually via Zoom.

Longtime D.C. LGBTQ seniors advocate Ron Swanda said he is disappointed that the D.C. Center’s seniors gatherings as well as other local seniors events have continued to meet virtually.

“I’d rather do these things face to face because I learn better and I like to get the feel for the people involved,” he said. “When I do it online I don’t,” said Swanda, who told the Blade he has withdrawn from participating in most Zoom events.

Mitchell of Whitman-Walker said that although participants in the LGBTQ seniors programs yearn for the pre-COVID, in-person gatherings, most have adjusted to the Zoom meetings, and some prefer them.   

“Initially, we were concerned that our senior Circle folks wouldn’t necessarily get the technology,” Mitchell said in referring to the use of online programs like Zoom. “But they’ve glommed onto the technology pretty quickly,” he said.

“And what we have found is that they do miss meeting in person, as isolation is one of the things we’re trying to tackle, but not having to come downtown, find parking, be out after dark, be on icy sidewalks in the winter, that kind of thing has actually been very helpful for a lot of these folks,” according to Mitchell.

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District of Columbia

D.C. Pride flag raising ceremony set for June 1

Mayor, council members to participate

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D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser at the flag-raising of the Progress Pride flag at the Wilson Building in D.C. on June 1, 2023. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser’s Office of LGBTQ Affairs is inviting the LGBTQ community and friends to attend the city’s annual Pride flag raising ceremony scheduled for 4 p.m. Monday, June 1, outside the John Wilson Building that serves as the D.C. City Hall.

Like in prior years, members of the D.C. Council and officials with the Office of LGBTQ Affairs were expected to join Bowser in delivering remarks on the front entrance steps at the Wilson Building before raising the Pride flag atop one of the tall flagpoles next to the building’s entrance.

Gaby Vincent, a spokesperson for the LGBTQ Affairs Office, said attendees of the flag raising ceremony will be invited to attend a reception immediately following the ceremony in the main lobby of the Wilson Building, which is located on Pennsylvania Avenue at 14th Street, N.W.

She said the reception will feature a DJ, dancing, and refreshments provided by the D.C. LGBTQ bar and café Spark Social House.  

Vincent said the flag raising event will also mark the 20th anniversary of the opening of the D.C. Mayor’s Office of LGBTQ Affairs.

In its official announcement of the flag raising event the LGBTQ Affairs Office also announced it is hosting the 7th annual District of Pride Showcase event to be held Friday, June 17, at 7 p.m. at the Lincoln Theater.

The announcement says LGBTQ community members, families, and allies are also invited to walk with Bowser in the Capital Pride Parade scheduled for Saturday, June 20. It says the mayor’s parade contingent will assemble at 2 p.m. at the parade’s starting location at 14th and U Streets, N.W.

“As we also celebrate the 20th anniversary of the Mayor’s Office of LGBTQ Affairs, we invite residents, community members, families and allies to join us throughout June for moments of pride, connection, visibility, and joy,” the announcement says.  

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District of Columbia

‘Queer Love’ campaign launched to address domestic violence

D.C. event set for LGBTQ+ Domestic Violence Awareness Day on May 28

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‘Domestic and family violence in LGBTQ+ communities is real and too often invisible,’ said Cesar Toledo, the Alston Foundation’s executive director. (Photo courtesy of Toledo)

The D.C.-based Wanda Alston Foundation, which provides housing and support services for homeless LGBTQ youth, announced earlier this month that it has joined partner organizations to launch a Queer Love Shouldn’t Hurt campaign aimed at addressing domestic violence within the LGBTQ community.

 In a May 18 statement, the Alston Foundation said the campaign involves a public awareness initiative leading up to LGBTQ+ Domestic Violence Awareness Day scheduled for May 28. 

“Domestic and family violence in LGBTQ+ communities is real and too often invisible,” Cesar Toledo, the Alston Foundation’s executive director, said in the statement. “As a community, we do not talk about it enough, and that silence can leave survivors feeling isolated and alone,” he said. “We must break that silence.”

He added that culturally competent care for those impacted by domestic violence is available through a newly launched website, queerlove.org, “where people can safely access vital resources, educational toolkits, and support networks they need on their healing journey.”

The website announces one of the project’s first events, a Queer Love Community Social, was scheduled for Thursday, May 28,  from 6-8 p.m. at the D.C. LGBTQ+ Community Center at 1827 Wiltberger St., N.W.

“Join us this LGBT+ Domestic Violence Awareness Day for a community social dedicated to visibility and survivor resilience,” the website statement says. “Let’s gather to strengthen our bonds, honor the path to healing, and share free resources,” it says of the May 28 event. 

The website also announces a June 1 workshop called Empowering Survivors of LGBTQ+ Intimate Partner Violence, which it says will be presented by Jesse Wedell, an official with the D.C. LGBT+ Counseling Collaborative. The website provides an online form to register for the workshop upon which its location would be disclosed.        

It identifies the partner organizations working with the Alston Foundation on the Queer Love Public Awareness Campaign as the LGBT+ Counseling Collaborative, Whitman-Walker Health, the D.C. LGBTQ+ Community Center, and Equality Chamber.

 The resources and information provided by the project can be accessed at www.queerlove.org.

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District of Columbia

Man accused of threatening to shoot D.C. bar employee after making anti-gay slurs

May 24 incident took place near Black Pride events on U Street

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(Bigstock photo)

D.C. police on Sunday, May 24, at around 4:20 p.m. arrested a Maryland man for allegedly threatening to shoot an employee while using anti-gay slurs at Ben’s Next Door restaurant and bar at 1211 U St., N.W.

According to a statement released by police and a police incident report, the arrested man, identified as Delonte Fraley, 32, of Accokeek, Md., made the threats after the employee told a bartender not to serve the man alcohol.

“The suspect overheard the employee and threatened to shoot the employee and used homophobic slurs against the employee,” the police statement says. “When the employee left the restaurant for the day, the suspect was standing near the employee’s vehicle,” it says.

“The employee returned to the restaurant and called the police,” the statement continues. “The suspect was apprehended by responding officers,” it says.

The police statement says the arresting officers charged Fraley with Felony Threats (Hate/Bias).

D.C. Superior Court records show prosecutors with the Office of the U.S. Attorney for D.C., which prosecutes D.C. criminal cases, escalated the charge to Threatening to Injure or Kidnap a Person (Bias-Related Hate Crime).

The incident occurred during Memorial Day weekend when thousands of visitors and D.C. area LGBTQ advocates and supporters were attending D.C. Black Pride events held in locations across the city, including Black Pride parties hosted by LGBTQ bars in the U Street entertainment area near Ben’s Next Door.

Among the nearby LGBTQ bars hosting D.C. Black Pride events were Nellie’s Sports Bar and Thurst Lounge. Ben’s Next Door is located next to the popular longtime U Street eatery Ben’s Chili Bowl.

Court records show that Judge Robert R. Rigsby at a May 25 presentment hearing released Fraley on personal recognizance with a stay-away order — the details of which were not publicly disclosed pending a June 4 preliminary hearing.   

A more detailed arrest affidavit filed in court by D.C. police says Fraley allegedly confronted the employee at Ben’s Next Door with anti-gay slurs on the day prior to his arrest.

“The complainant told the defendant that because he used homophobic slurs towards himself previously on May 23, 2026, and his hostess, as well as making threats to the complainant and calling him a faggot, he was unable to stay in the establishment,” the affidavit states.

It adds, “The defendant became irate stating, ‘I know where your Tesla is at. See me outside faggot, I will slap your ass’ and ‘I will shoot your ass.’” The affidavit says the complainant confirmed to police the Tesla referred to by Fraley was his vehicle. It says as the victim walked toward his car after getting off work, he saw Fraley standing directly in front of the car.

“The complainant stated he felt unsafe while the defendant was standing in front of his vehicle because he felt the defendant was capable of carrying out those threats,” says the affidavit. It says the victim then decided to return to the restaurant and call police without the defendant having seen him.  

“The defendant was placed under arrest for Felony Threats Hate/Bias and was transported to the Third District Station for processing,” the affidavit concludes.

It couldn’t immediately be determined whether the victim identifies as LGBTQ or whether any of the Ben’s Next Door patrons had been involved with D.C. Black Pride.

“Established in 2008, Ben’s Next Door is a family-owned and operated restaurant and bar on U Street, Northwest in Washington, D.C.,” a statement on its website says. “As a Black-owned establishment, it’s our goal to deliver a warm, welcoming, familiar, and communal vibe to all guests,” the statement says.    

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