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Still fighting the good fight 14 years after ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ repeal
First out military general on the need to ‘build an army’ amid new attacks on LGBTQ service members
The date was Aug. 10, 2012, and Tammy Smith was being promoted to brigadier general. Tracey Hepner stood beside her wife and pinned a star on her uniform, making Smith the first openly gay military general in United States history.
Tammy Smith and Tracey Hepner met on an Olivia cruise in 2004. The couple married in March 2012 and now live in Delaware.
“She just had this gravitational pull,” Smith said. “It’s just as soon as I saw her, I felt like the universe was pulling me in her direction, so I knew that she was someone who I needed to meet. So of course, I didn’t talk to her.”
Eventually, they were seated together at dinner and discovered their shared interests.
Years later, Smith would become the first openly gay military general after “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was repealed.
“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was the law in place from 1993 to 2011 that prohibited openly LGBTQ individuals from serving in the military.
Smith served under this policy, as well as after it was repealed until her retirement in 2021. During DADT, Hepner founded two organizations, Rainbow Ribbon and the Rainbow Ribbon Project, a postcard initiative, and the Military Partners and Families Coalition, which were both dedicated to raising visibility for LGBTQ military families.
During this time, Hepner couldn’t be out either. Organizing Rainbow Ribbon took some “covert operation” with friends and allies agreeing to be the face of the organization.
“The advocacy part really came into my life personally … when I saw how despondent the most important person in my life became when ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ paralyzed her,” Hepner said. “And it just hit me as it was staring me right in the face.”
While Smith was serving under DADT, she was “insulated” from the gay community and didn’t really keep up with what was going on.
“Being part of the gay community was not something I could do easily or openly,” Smith said. “It really cut us off from our ability to just participate in many of the things that were going on around us.”
It got too hard to serve under the weight of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” Smith said. It was easy earlier in her career, but it got more difficult after meeting Tracey.
“It’s harder to hide somebody that you truly love,” she said. “As soon as I felt that gravitational pull on that ship, I knew Tracy was my person. Having that good relationship made my situation now feel bad, because I just couldn’t be fully me and I had to keep her a secret.”
The Military Partners and Families Coalition was created while “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was still in effect. Co-founded by Hepner, the coalition was made up of existing organizations that were willing to work with them, such as the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) and Blue Star Families, to provide resources and support to all military families, regardless of sexual orientation. Smith was serving in Afghanistan when MPFC was launched.
Today, MPFC is no longer active and merged with the Service Members Legal Defense Network, OutServe, and the American Military Partner Association, which eventually became the Modern Military Association of America.
Smith said that back in 2012, there were not as many out public figures and she was “terrified” ahead of the big promotion ceremony, though she knew it was necessary at the time. Her family had come to D.C. to attend the event at the Women’s Memorial at the Arlington National Cemetery, but they weren’t told about the other significant aspect of the day beforehand.
“I assumed that the response would be some sort of negative, homophobic backlash,” Smith said. “I just assumed that all these bad things were going to happen, and none of those bad things happened.”
Though there were rough spots along the way, Smith said the couple’s story has been well received. Their lives were not upended, the two of them became closer, and Smith grew closer to the other thing she was married to, the Army.
Following her coming out, Smith served for 10 more years until her mandatory retirement. Now that openly gay military members could serve, the couple lived on bases in Georgia, Virginia, and South Korea.
“That was our entry, literally into being a full fledged 100% military family, and then we went ahead and got a house outpost,” Hepner said. “And then we never looked back. We lived at the military installation for those final 10 years until her retirement … It was a wonderful decade that we got to serve in the military as a military family.”
The first knock on the door of their military installation was someone bringing cookies and welcoming them. Smith said Hepner made lifelong friends with military spouses and had a great time being part of that network.
After coming out, Smith said she was unsure of what she was doing as she went along but was given some room by the trust the Army had in her.
“There was an assumption that I would do the right thing on behalf of the Army … but I had to create a new path,” Smith said. “How do I now best represent the Army with a wife instead of a husband? But a lot of that was built on the trust that the Army had in me individually as a person to be able to navigate that, because it’s not like they could tell me what to do. They didn’t know either.”
Smith said that she has tried to maintain the platform of being a spokesperson who is a veteran but also a member of the LGBTQ community. She wants to improve things for veterans, especially during times of cuts to support systems such as the Veterans Administration.
You don’t get to pick to be the first, said Smith. You either step up or you don’t and it’s been a privilege to be put into the position of given that choice. Smith said the couple has navigated everything together and they have tried to do as much as they can while they have the platform, as she knows the importance of visibility of LGBTQ service members.
“We’re just ordinary people that were put in an extraordinary role, and right now we need more ordinary people to step into extraordinary roles because of what’s happening in our current environment,” Hepner said. “Today, we need everybody. We need to build an army.”
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Mr. Henry’s celebrates 60 years of proud inclusivity
Capitol Hill staple remains ‘a caring community’
America’s 250th isn’t the only milestone birthday D.C. is celebrating this year.
Beloved D.C. restaurant Mr. Henry’s, that Capitol Hill staple, celebrates its Diamond Jubilee all year long. Named for its original owner Henry Yaffe, the restaurant opened on a warm day 60 years ago in the summer of 1966 and has never looked back.
Yaffe took over what was then a country western restaurant, renovated the interior to his liking, and created an institution. Yet Yaffe had another goal. As a gay man, “he created Mr. Henry’s to be a place where everyone felt welcome — not easy in 1966 — and he succeeded,” says current owner Mary Quillian.
“Mr. Henry’s has long been a place the LGBTQ community has supported because they felt and still feel welcomed,” says Quillian. Even in the current administration, “the gay community and the diversity-minded community continue to come.”
Since then, Mr. Henry’s has changed hands, opened and closed its second floor, welcomed famed musical acts, and played host to politicians, date nights, breakups, and birthdays. But it still feels like home (and has a note in the National Trust for Historic Preservation) at 601 Pennsylvania Ave., S.E.
Its wood-paneled, Victorian-inspired art-filled décor in the downstairs dining room and bar serves American pub fare for lunch and dinner daily, with brunch on weekends (and a dog-friendly patio). Upstairs, Mr. Henry’s hosts live jazz performances and special events most nights, continuing a musical tradition that has defined the venue for decades. That upstairs bar has played host to names like Roberta Flack and Woody Allen.
Musician Kevin Cordt said that, “Mr. Henry’s has been a part of my life for more than 30 years. I started as a customer, then became a bartender and server, and now I have the good fortune to play trumpet at one of the best live music venues in Washington, D.C.”
Aaron Myers, executive director of the D.C. Commission on the Arts and Humanities, is also a supporter. “Not many cities can sport venues that have consistently served the community in the space of culture for more than 50 years, let alone can brag as the birthplace of culture defining talent.”
From the start, Yaffe promoted a rare yet celebrated combination of locals’ bar and soulful nightlife venue. Mr. Henry’s has attracted a diverse crowd at a time when such spaces were – and perhaps still are – uncommon, a diversity that is credited with helping protect the pub during the 1968 D.C. riots.
Longtime customer Evelyn Branic said, “Mr. Henry’s has been my ‘Cheers’ hangout since my wife and I moved to the Hill in 1987. I’ve experienced many iconic moments meeting politicians, reporters, civic activists, and neighbors engaging in spirited conversations. Whether political, LGBTQ, historians, neighbors, or out-of-towners, everyone could find a special place to be greeted as a friend.”
Its welcoming tables come dabbed with a bit of tea: In 1971, in a moment that has since become part of Capitol Hill lore, Yaffe lost the pub in a poker game to Larry Quillian. The Quillian family, recognizing the special role Mr. Henry’s played in the neighborhood, took over ownership, and committed to preserving its spirit. Today, Larry’s daughter Mary owns the bar, having given it a bit of a facelift for the bar’s 50th birthday, bringing in new tables and some fresh menu items.
For example, the menu has some of those dishes that regulars would riot if they disappeared. The Reuben and the hamburgers, the chili and in-house roasted turkey have never departed the menu. Dishes do evolve, says Quillen: they added wings about two decades ago.
In 2026, the restaurant is hosting monthly ticketed “decades” parties, celebrating each of the 10-year periods the restaurant’s been open, plus there were specials in June for Pride. The official 60th anniversary gala takes place Aug. 29, featuring performers, beverages, timeless favorite foods, swag – and the unveiling of a new cocktail.
Inclusive, eccentric, eclectic, Mr. Henry’s is looking forward to maintaining its centrality to diverse crowds in Capitol Hill. Battling inflation, rising menu prices, changing tastes, and thin margins, Quillian says that Mr. Henry’s has — and will always be — “a caring community for so many different folks. And THAT is why I am committed to keeping us going. Society needs places like Mr. Henry’s, now more than ever.”
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Television loses a legend, longtime ‘Will & Grace’ director James Burrows
Iconic hitmaker leaves behind a legacy of telling LGBTQ stories
You don’t have to be a pretentious film major to name 10 movie directors. But naming television directors is not that simple. They’re the unsung heroes of your favorite shows, and the late James Burrows was the television director. He passed on June 19, but his DNA runs through television history.
He directed over 1200 episodes of television and over 50 pilots. He co-created “Cheers” and directed many episodes of long-running series like “Friends,” “Taxi,” “Frasier,” “The Big Bang Theory,” and “Two and a Half Men.” You also may remember him from playing a heightened version of himself on the Lisa Kudrow comedy “The Comeback.”
He has left an indelible mark on the LGBTQ community. As recently as last year, he directed the series run of “Mid-Century Modern” starring Nathan Lane, Matt Bomer, and Linda Lavin. He was also a longtime director of “Will & Grace” and directed every episode of the series revival. He even directed the unaired “Absolutely Fabulous” pilot with Kathryn Hahn, Kristen Johnston, and Zosia Mamet.
Not to mention he’s worked with queer icons throughout history, including Betty White and Stockard Channing on their single-season series, and Jennifer Coolidge in “2 Broke Girls.”
He started his career on shows like “The Mary Tyler Moore Show,” “Rhoda,” “Laverne & Shirley,” and the first four seasons of “Taxi.”
He continued to work steadily and directed successful pilots that went to series for “Roc,” “3rd Rock From the Sun,” “Dharma & Greg,” and “Wings.” He directed multiple episodes of “Friends,” “Caroline in the City,” and “Frasier.”
This magic continued into the 2000s with him directing the pilots for “Two and a Half Men,” “The Big Bang Theory,” and multiple episodes of “Mike & Molly,” and the entire return series of “Will & Grace.”
What was the secret to his success? He’d enact the “fun clause” in his contract. In his words, “Life is too short to deal with obnoxious leads,” he shared. “So as long as the writing is good and the cast is fun, I’m going to enjoy the experience.”
He had the magic touch, having multiple pilots turned into long-running series. He was nominated for an Emmy 24 times in 26 years and worked consistently until a year before his death.
The secret was the way he brought the cast together. He describes, “it was my job to mold them into an ensemble, and they did round into a group of people who loved each other.”
This earned him 11 Emmy Awards and five Directors Guild of America Awards, including being awarded the inaugural DGA’s Lifetime Achievement Award for Television Direction.
In a 2003 interview by the Television Academy, he was asked how he wants to be remembered, and he said, “That every night forever you can tune in somewhere, and there’ll be a show I did.”
He’s survived by his wife, Debbie, four daughters, seven grandchildren, and the countless people whose careers he launched and the countless viewers he inspired with his television legacy.
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D.C. prepares to party as Pride celebrations kick off Saturday
Bars, clubs have busy lineups; Pride on the Pier returns
Capital Pride’s date change isn’t slowing down the festivities. Back in December, the Capital Pride Alliance shifted the calendar for Pride celebrations in the nation’s capital from the second weekend of June to two weeks later to the weekend of June 20-21 to not conflict with President Trump’s birthday and 250th anniversary of America celebrations, with the aim that “our community can gather safely and without unnecessary barriers… We are protecting our space and preserving Pride as a powerful act of visibility, solidarity, and resistance.”
On the heels of WorldPride last year, the city shows no sign of slowing down. Instead, restaurants, bars, clubs, and neighborhoods are taking the opportunity to be even more visible. The Blade has put together a (non-comprehensive) list of parties, activations, and activities across town:
Pride on the Pier returns on Saturday, June 13 to the Wharf on the Southwest waterfront. The event, sponsored and hosted by the Washington Blade, is free and runs from 4-9 p.m. There will be vendors, DJs, and drag performances all day. VIP tickets are $25 and come with air conditioned party room, private bathrooms, and free cocktail. More details at prideonthepierdc.com.
Capital Pride Official Opening Party: RIOT! is the official opening dance party of Capital Pride, taking place Friday June 19, 9 PM-3AM. The 2026 edition headlining performer is Myki Meeks, a finalist of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” season 18; Bob The Drag Queen will perform a special set. DMV-area DJs and performers include: Bambi, Baphomette, Bumper, Cake Pop!, Connor, DJ Ed Bailey, DJ Diyanna Monet, Evry Pleasure, Jakknife Complex, Mari Con Carne, Pussy Noir, WessTheDJ. Trade owner Ed Bailey is producing the event.
Kinetic Presents brings the heat across the entirety of Pride weekend as well. It again is partnering with Capital Pride Alliance to produce four events over four days this Pride, including the Official Main Event on Saturday (the Friday official event is at Echostage). Kinetic’s parties are splayed across various D.C. venues, with special performances, massive productions, shirtless dancers, play zones, dance-forward audio and visuals, and international DJ talent. Thursday, June 18 at 10 PM at District Eagle is Lust, with music by Dan Slater and TOMI. Friday, June 19 at 10 PM is UNCUT XXL Heavy Load, at A.i. Warehouse in Union Market District, with music by Alex Acosta, Felipe Lira & Mitch Ferrino; the party is a “high-octane night of muscular house and tribal rhythms.” Saturday, June 20 at 10 PM brings that official main event, Kinetic Toy Land, at Echostage, with music by GSP & Matt Suave. Alaska Thunderfuck headlines. Sunday evening June 21 at 10 PM closes with discoVERS at SAX. A portion of tickets supports the DC LGBTQ+ community through Capital Pride Alliance.
9:30 Club always comes in clutch for the LGBTQ community. Already in June, it produced Kitty Kat Ball on June 7, and Kiesza performed on June 8. On June 20 at 10 PM, the famed Mixtape party hits the stage, care of gay DJs Shea van Horn and Matt Bailer, who have spun together for coming up on two decades. Mixtape has been held at several venues across the city over those years, and now settled on 9:30 Club for Pride. On June 25 at 7 PM, Big Freedia – the bounce artist from New Orleans – hits the 9:30 Club scene for the eighth time, as part of the Big Freedom Tour.
Crush: New this year from the 14th Street bar is the Pride Pop-Up, sitting pretty in the parking lot at 1820 14th St., N.W., at the corner of Swann Street by the start of the Pride Parade route. Hours are Friday from 2-10 PM and Saturday from 12-10 PM. Friday evening features Grizzly Bear Happy Hour, a DJ will set up shop on Saturday, and for those needing another layer, there’s a Crush merch store. Co-owner Mark Rutstein “has always wanted to throw a party in that parking lot, so he did,” said co-owner Stephen Rutgers. Note that Crush (the bar) will have a cover on Friday and Saturday.
Kiki: Over at Kiki, there’s a full slate of Pride-themed programming all week. Tuesday, June 16 at 9 PM brings karaoke; Wednesday, June 17 at 7:30 PM is trivia; Thursday June 18 at 9PM is “Night of 1000 Tatianna’s Drag Show”, and Friday June 19 at 9 PM brings the Juneteenth Serve Drag Show. Saturday, June 20 at 10 PM, post-parade, is a Pride Dance Party with DJ Lemz. Sunday daytime at 5 PM is the Father Figures Daddy Issues Special Drag Show; and after the festival at 8 PM, DJ Tezrah hits the tapes.
Jane Jane: Right along the parade route, gay-owned Jane Jane has transformed its space into a “No Kings, Yas Queens” activation in a direct response to the America 250th commemorations happening downtown, from the colorful window installation, to merch (including a custom bandana and tank) to disco wig installations. Events include industry night on Mondays, donations to LGBTQ charities, and to-go cocktails during the Pride Parade.
Shaw’s Tavern: Gay-owned Shaw’s Tavern on Florida Avenue celebrates Pride week with a full lineup of themed events, entertainment, and specials, including Pride trivia on Monday, June 15 at 7:30 PM, bingo on Tuesday, June 16 at 8 PM, a cabaret on Thursday, June 18 at 9 PM, Juneteenth Drag Brunch on Friday, June 19 at 12:30 PM, and both a pre-parade brunch (10 AM-4 PM) and post-parade party (5-9 PM) on Saturday, June 20. Sunday, June 21 at 7 PM brings Mama’s Sunday Supper & Drag Pride Show in the evening for anyone who is still awake.
Trade: This classic has a weekend of events, starting on Thursday, with Tiburon Pride Edition, a Latin Dance party in the Shark Tank. On Friday, the bar opens early (at 2 PM), with all-day happy hour and the Jx&Evry Show. On Saturday, the bar opens at noon, offering a prime parade viewing spot from its windows. There will be the CLASH drag show hosted by Tatianna and Crimsyn, and Sweet Spot party that night. On Sunday, the bar opens for normal hours at 2 PM, with DJs Adam K, Alex Love, and WESSTHEDJ.
Pitchers: The multi-level bar in Adams Morgan is hosting a Pride-themed show on Thursday, June 18 at 10 PM, with drawstring bag giveaways – the only kind of bag that will be allowed into the bar during Pride weekend. The show features drag queen Kyle Sonique Love.
Barrel House Cafe and Bar: Also by the parade route on 14th Street, Barrel House Cafe takes advantage of its large patio to have a slate of events during Pride week, including Schism, a drag and burlesque show on June 18 at 10 PM, as well as an all-day Pride party coinciding on parade day.
Bunker: Bunker again plays host to a series of afters. Friday night (Saturday 3:30 AM) is Unhinged, and Saturday night (Sunday 3:30AM) is Unholy. The regular Saturday night party (10 PM) brings in Venetian and Tiara Missou. All parties have cover charges.
District Eagle: Beyond the Kinetic party on Friday, June 19 brings Gear Night at 10 PM; Saturday, June 20 at 10 PM is LOBO presents PRISM, and Sunday, June 21 is Sundaze wit Papi at 6 PM.
African Art Museum: On Thursday, June 18 at 5 PM, this Smithsonian museum is hosting a free event with artists and curators celebrating its exhibit, “Here: Pride and Belonging in African Art,” “based on years of close collaboration and dialogue with African visual art practitioners who claim belonging in the LGBTQ+ community, however they define those terms,” according to the museum.
KNEAD Hospitality & Design: The gay-owned KNEAD restaurant group (including spots like Gatsby, Mi Vida, Succotash The Grill) is featuring the GLITTERATI cocktail, made with Tito’s, St-Germain Elderflower, Butterfly Flower, ginger, and yes, glitter. A portion of proceeds from every Glitterati cocktail sold will benefit The Trevor Project. The cocktail will be sold throughout June.
The Fountain Inn is partnering with Rhodium spirits (Rhode Island’s first LGBTQ+ owned distillery) all month, making cocktails like gimlets and espresso martinis featuring Rhodium’s liquors. Proceeds benefit SMYAL, an organization dedicated to empowering LGBTQ+ youth.
Hard Rock Cafe: Hard Rock DC is taking part in the chain’s annual “LOVE OUT LOUD” campaign, with Pride merch, specials on June 20, and a donation to The Trevor Project.
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Ron Singer, owner of popular Mount Vernon gay bar Leon’s, dies
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PHOTOS: Crush Dance Bar
