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Laughing all the way

Westenhoefer on her divorce, Birchmere return and Jodie Foster

Published

13 years ago

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Suzanne Westenhoefer, gay news, Washington Blade
Suzanne Westenhoefer, gay news, Washington Blade

Suzanne Westenhoefer (Photo by Adam Bouska)

For one of her first shows this year, comedian Suzanne Westenhoefer cannot assure her audience she will stick to a certain theme or what kind of jokes she will make. She doesn’t even have a name for her current tour.

However, she does promise that straight or gay, boy or girl, attendees will laugh.

Westenhoefer comes to the Birchmere (3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria) Friday night, bringing with her personal stories that audiences can relate to and laugh about.

“Because the act I do is very truthful, very personal, my show is changing hourly,” she says. “If something changes in my life that makes the story not true, the show changes. It’s not like a written script.”

The blend of honesty and often self-deprecating humor is what brings audiences back year after year, says Michael Jaworek, Birchmere promoter, who has been booking Westenhoefer for more than 15 years.

“Her audience is very devoted and follows her,” he says. “She is funny. Her humor is insightful. A lot of her material deals with gay life, or rather lesbian life. She speaks to and for the majority of her audience.”

Suzanne Westenhoefer
February 1
The Birchmere
3701 Mount Vernon Ave.
Alexandria, Va
Tickets are $54.50

Westenhoefer does know that a bulk of her show will deal with recovering from divorce and entering the dating world for the first time in years. Through this process, she’s learned a few new things about herself.

“I suck at dating,” she says. “I don’t date, I don’t know how.”

A little less than a year ago, Westenhoefer divorced long-term partner Jennifer Houston, whom she married in 2008 before Proposition 8 was voted on in California. Through the transition, she’s learned a lot of new things about herself.

“I thought I would be fine, apparently not,” she says. “I didn’t know how to feed myself. I hadn’t cooked for myself since I moved in with my first partner when I was 21.”

But she says despite the bumps and challenges in her new life, there are so many great and new people to meet and that everyone should “go out, be nice, buy someone a cocktail and meet somebody.” She’s currently exclusively seeing a woman whom she calls “tall girl” in order to respect her privacy.

The stage to Westenhoefer is an open diary, and even when the story is tragic in nature, she always tries to make it comedic.

“I see what everybody is thinking, what needs to be said,” she says. “I’m getting everybody off the hook by saying it. I’m giving them a chance to laugh at tragedy that befalls them all.”

Growing up in the heart of Amish country in Pennsylvania, and coming out right when the AIDS crisis was starting in 1981, Westenhoefer has had plenty of stories to tell. But the act of sharing her personal narrative has its roots in something deeper and older.

“My grandfather was the same way,” she says. “He was that kind of person who goes to the store to get milk and bread, come back and have a fantastic funny story about it.”

On stage, Westenhoefer is not afraid to say whatever is on her mind.

“Once my sister told me she thinks she might be gay, but asked me not to tell anybody,” she says. “What did I do? I went right on stage and said ‘So, my sister thinks she’s gay.’”

This has not gotten her in trouble with her family so far, she claims, because they know it is “out of love.”

Westenhoefer began her stand-up career at the end of 1990, when a friend dared her to go on stage while she was working as a New York bartender. However, she did not need anyone to dare her to be honest and talk about gay life.

“My opening line was I am the only gay comedian you’re going to see tonight,” she says.

Though her first time on stage didn’t go well (by her own admission), her career took off through the ‘90s. In 1991, she became the first lesbian comic to appear on television, when she was on an episode of “Sally Jessy Raphael” called “Breaking the Lesbian Stereotype: Lesbians Who Don’t Look Like Lesbians,” and then went on to be the first openly gay comic to host an HBO Comedy Special in 1994.

Being on television created an opportunity to start a conversation, she says.

“It was a way to tell people not to panic, we aren’t killing babies,” Westenhoefer says. “This has always been and always will be.”

This is not the first time Westenhoefer has been a force for change. She says in high school she formed a group to ban dodge ball. She says activism is in her blood and that she and her family always were political

While still blunt and honest with her audience, Westenhoefer says things have certainly changed since she began. Westenhoefer no longer uses her original opening line.

“I used to do shows in straight clubs and I literally would say I was lesbian in the beginning of every show,” she says. “It’s definitely gotten to be a different show. It doesn’t have to be gay gay gay gay.”

Recent events, such as Jodie Foster’s speech at the Golden Globes and Barack Obama’s speech at his second inauguration, she says mark the change in attitudes toward the LGBT community.

When she came out at 19, Westenhoefer says it was a scarier time period. There was more violence against the community. However, most of her friends and family were supportive.

Now she finds it amazing that people like Foster can go on international television and discuss their sexuality with the world.

“I am very excited for her,” Westenhoefer, who’s met Foster three times, says. “She is a very shy, very private woman. I am very proud of her. To get up in front of an international audience and tell this, it’s amazing.”

Despite leaving the much warmer West Coast to do so, Westenhoefer says she’s always glad to return to the D.C. area.

“I love D.C. for several reasons,” she says. “First of all people will come out for a show even if there is an ice storm. They have southern hospitality, they are political and they want to be entertained. It is the perfect storm for comedy.”

Jaworek is happy to have her back because, “Suzanne is a very funny woman period.”

Even though she shares the experiences of a lesbian, Westenhoefer insists that, “the boys are welcome. It is not just for girls. It’s a show for straights, for gays, and if they wanna come, I promise they’ll laugh.”

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Out & About

Delaware beaches ring in holidays with tree lightings

Festivities in Rehoboth preceded by a sing-along

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13 hours ago

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November 21, 2025

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(Photo by f9photos/Bigstock)

The Rehoboth Beach annual tree lighting at the bandstand will take place at 7 p.m. on Friday, Nov. 28. Festivities are preceded by a sing-along by Clear Space Theatre beginning at 6:30 p.m.

And if you’re not tired of tree lightings at the beach, check out the annual Dewey Beach tree lighting along Rt. 1 at Fifer’s market on Saturday, Nov. 29. Festivities start at 5:30 p.m. and include local businesses offering food and drinks along with the lighting.

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Out & About

DC Center announces annual Thanksgiving program

‘Our food programs are about more than just meals’

Published

14 hours ago

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November 21, 2025

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(Photo by alexraths/Bigstock)

The DC Center for the LGBT Community will launch its “Annual Thanksgiving Food Program” on Thursday, Nov. 27.

This program, alongside several ongoing initiatives, will ensure that D.C.’s queer community has nourishment, dignity, and connection year-round. Beyond the Thanksgiving holiday, the Center continues its commitment to food access through several vital programs.

The Free Food Pantry, supported by Wegmans Food Market, provides shelf-stable essentials, available to anyone in need. The Food Rescue Program, in partnership with Food Rescue DC, offers ready-to-eat meals while helping to prevent food waste. In collaboration with Hungry Harvest and MicroHabitat, the Fresh Produce Program distributes seasonal fruits and vegetables weekly through a simple lottery registration. Additionally, the Farmers Market Program, in partnership with Food For Health and AHF, brings locally sourced produce directly to the community each month, promoting healthy eating and supporting local growers.

“Our food programs are about more than just meals, they’re about nourishment, connection, and care,” said Kimberley Bush, executive director of the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center. “In these uncertain times, we are proud to stand with our community and ensure that every person, regardless of circumstance, feels seen, supported, and fed, because everyone deserves a place at the table.”

For more information about the Thanksgiving Program or ongoing food initiatives, please visit thedccenter.org or email [email protected]. 

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Calendar

Calendar: November 21-27

LGBTQ events in the days to come

Published

14 hours ago

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November 21, 2025

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Friday, November 21

“Center Aging Friday Tea Time” will be at 12 p.m. in person at the DC Center for the LGBT Community’s new location at 1827 Wiltberger St., NW. To RSVP, visit the DC Center’s website or email [email protected]. 

Trans and Genderqueer Game Night will be at 6 p.m. at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. This is a relaxing, laid-back evening of games and fun. All are welcome. There will be card and board games on hand. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website. 

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Social in the City” at 7 p.m. at Hotel Zena. This event is ideal for making new friends, professional networking, idea-sharing, and community building. This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite. 

Saturday, November 22

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 12 p.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation.  Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Black Lesbian Support Group will be at 11 a.m. on Zoom. This is a peer-led support group devoted to the joys and challenges of being a Black lesbian. For more details, email [email protected]. 

Sunday, November 23 

A Tour of Her Own will host “Walking Tour: Over The Rainbow Queer Feminist HIstory” at 10 a.m. at Farrgut Square. Guests are encouraged to come explore feminist history through a queer lens and discover how D.C. has been a pivotal location for the LGBTQ+ community. Tickets start at $15 and can be purchased on Eventbrite. 

KhushDC will host a screening of “The Queen of My Heart” at 2 p.m. at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. This queer, Pakistani film is described as “a vibrant, genre-blending mother-daughter dramedy that explores queerness, memory, and the Bollywood dreams that shape us.” Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite. 

Monday, November 24

Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ+ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).

“Soulfully Queer: LGBTQ+ Emotional Health and Spirituality Drop-In” will be at 3 p.m. at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. This group will meet weekly for eight weeks, providing a series of drop-in sessions designed to offer a safe, welcoming space for open and respectful conversation. Each session invites participants to explore themes of spirituality, identity, and belonging at their own pace, whether they attend regularly or drop in occasionally. For more details visit the DC Center’s website.

Queer Book Club will be at 6:30 p.m. on Zoom. This month’s reading is “The Mermaid, the Witch, and the Sea” by Maggie Tokuda-Hall. For more information, email [email protected]. 

Tuesday, November 25 

Genderqueer DC will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a support group for people who identify outside of the gender binary, whether you’re bigender, agender, genderfluid, or just know that you’re not 100% cis. For more details, visit www.genderqueerdc.org or Facebook.

Coming Out Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a safe space to share experiences about coming out and discuss topics as it relates to doing so — by sharing struggles and victories the group allows those newly coming out and who have been out for a while to learn from others. For more details, visit the group’s Facebook. 

Wednesday, November 26 

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit www.thedccenter.org/careers.

“Movement for Healing with Felicia Taliaferro” will be at 3 p.m. This is a space for nervous system nourishment and embodied restoration. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website. 

Asexual and Aromantic Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a space where people who are questioning this aspect of their identity or those who identify as asexual and/or aromantic can come together, share stories and experiences, and discuss various topics. Currently, this group is a meeting place for both identities, but we realize that as time passes, the groups may choose to host individual meetings.For more details, email For more information, email [email protected]. 

Thursday, November 27 

The DC Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5:00 pm if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245. 

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