a&e features
Don’t label Maria Bello
Actress-turned-author explores power and pain of typecasting
Maria Bello says a 2013 illness that sidelined her gave her time to rethink the rigid way society categorizes love, sexuality and relationships, labels she says never fit her own life. (Photo by Amanda Demme; courtesy Dey Street Books)
Maria Bello
In conversation with Daniel Jones (New York Times)
Sixth & I Historic Synagogue
600 I St. N.W.
$17 (ticket
$30 (ticket and book)
$38 (two tickets, one book)
Actress Maria Bello spent the summer of 2013 in bed ill with a parasitic illness she contracted while doing relief work in Haiti.
Turning to the roughly 150 journals she’s been keeping since age 10, the actress, best known for her roles in the films “Payback,” “Coyote Ugly” and “A History of Violence” as well as the TV hit “ER,” found herself pondering all sorts of questions from all facets of her life from work, family, romantic relationships and more.
She eventually distilled her personal discoveries into the new book “Whatever … Love is Love: Questioning the Labels We Give Ourselves.” On Monday night she’ll be in Washington at the Sixth & I Synagogue to discuss the book with Daniel Jones of the New York Times, which published her essay “Coming Out as a Modern Family,” in which she discussed her current relationship with partner Clare Munn.
We talked with her Tuesday — the day of the Supreme Court marriage arguments — by phone to find out why she has such a thorny relationship with labels. Her comments have been slightly edited for length.
MARIA BELLO: How are you?
WASHINGTON BLADE: We’re good. It’s a big day in Washington!
BELLO: I know! I’ve been watching all day and tweeting about it. I’m so excited and the whole community must be.
BLADE: Yes, it feels momentous.
BELLO: It is. We’re on the verge and the tide is changing and it’s very exciting.
BLADE: It sounds like you had an epiphany of sorts when you began your relationship with Clare. Prior to that, had you had much involvement or investment in LGBT issues?
BELLO: Yes, always, even when I was going to a Catholic university. I’ve always been involved in LGBT rights because they have always been a huge force in human rights in general and it’s a human right to be able to marry who you love and love who you love. I was very inspired by Marsha P. Johnson, a famous African-American transgender, flamboyant, really beautiful woman when I used to live on Christopher Street. She threw the first shot glass at Stonewall.
BLADE: Did you journal continuously or in spurts over the years?
BELLO: Pretty consistently. I started at 10 but only have them going back to age 13. The first one I have is a green notebook with little hearts drawn all over it. The challenge with my journals was trying to choose the material to go into the book and what I realized more and more was that I wasn’t just taking a walk down memory lane, I was uncovering all these pieces and I had so many questions about the girl I was, the woman I had become, about my family, you know, myself, my religion, my sexuality and as I started asking more questions, I heard from so many more people that they were asking similar questions. I had no idea it would become part of a larger conversation. I always journalized pretty consistently. I can’t imagine I ever went more than three months or so without writing. Sometimes they were just gratitude lists I made because I was so miserable.
BLADE: What big picture started to emerge from reading them?
BELLO: Relationships are fluid, partnerships are fluid, life is fluid and the more you accept that, which is sometimes a very hard thing to accept, you become more mindful. It doesn’t mean you’re happy all the time. Sometimes it’s just being where you’re at. Sometimes you could be miserable and mindful and I have to allow myself space to have those days and sometimes those weeks where, you know, you’re sad, angry confused. But my mom always told me unless you hit the bottom, you’re not able to push yourself back up. I always loved that.
BLADE: How do you differentiate between happiness, joy and containment?
BELLO: It’s kind of what I just answered. More coming from my preferred self, my most authentic self. When I can do that and be in the moment, I am more curious and happier when I have an understanding of that and, you know, connect to my higher power. Call it God, call it whatever you like. For me, it’s that connection that brings me joy. And also watching my son play soccer. He’s going to Ireland this summer to play in like the world cup of kids’ soccer. He’s freaking awesome.
BLADE: How old is Jackson?
BELLO: He’s 14. He was 12 when he said those amazing words (that became the book title).
BLADE: How long were you ill?
BELLO: A few months. Actually when I was quite sick and recovering and frail, I think your body has a way of telling you when it’s time to take a break or take a breath. It was a real transforming time in my life. I looked around my bedside and saw who was there — my mom, my brother and Jack and Jack’s dad and Clare and many of my friends. I’m so proud to have so much love in my life.
BLADE: Are you healthy now?
BELLO: I am. … Except for the smoking thing, which I’m working on again. It’s my vice.
BLADE: You say nobody should feel judged or afraid because of a label. We use labels all the time to decide where to put things in a grocery store, to decide what genre a film or book is, to say if someone is a blond or brunette even when there are so many variations of different things. Why have the labels associated with sexuality gotten such a bad rap?
BELLO: Because it’s not just about sexual orientation, it’s about partnerships and family and how traditional labels, you know, seem to put people in these tidy little boxes and those traditional labels don’t seem to be working anymore. In the end, I always feel like call me whatever you want, I’ll label myself practically anything to advance human rights and that feels good for me, but I see these poor kids ashamed and being blamed for their sexuality or having partnerships that are different. … It’s important to claim the labels that make you feel your authentic self.
BLADE: When you see the studies about how monogamous people really are and how many stay married their entire lives, it does make you question whether these societal expectations are realistic.
BELLO: In one of my chapters I write about having an affair and talk about this very issue. It’s said that more than 50 percent of married people have admitted having affairs. Men, women, conservative, liberal, across the board. And yet we just don’t talk about it. We seem to just wave our finger and say, “OK, you’re a bad guy or bad girl if you had an affair,” but what we should really be talking is the question of why this is happening and the complications of sexuality. What does it mean. … There has to be a reason these people in long-term, committed relationships go outside the relationship for something besides partnership.
BLADE: True, but don’t we need some sort of compartmentalization system in the world for such matters if only to make sense of all the thousands of people we encounter? Wouldn’t things get too overwhelming if we shunned labels altogether?
BELLO: Oh yes, we need some. My point is that only use the ones you are proud of and make you feel part of a community. Identifying a movie or a person by the way they look, that’s really simplistic. What we’re talking about are bigger issues. Facebook added 51 new gender options last year. I’m at least 15 of them. I think our lexicon needs to expand to include all of those.
BLADE: You write about growing up Roman Catholic. Do you have any relationship with the church today?
BELLO: I’m so excited about the new pope, with his openness and his attention to what really matters, which is love and (addressing) poverty and peace. … I’m happy to be part of this movement that’s happening in the church, even in the church I go to in Santa Monica, more of an acceptance and getting back to real values and what it’s all about, which is love.
BLADE: Has it been hard to take the good and leave the dogma you don’t agree with behind?
BELLO: It’s getting easier and easier as I get older because I’m doing that with everything in my life. I guess part of it is being middle aged and menopausal, but I’m excited about the question and I hope the book will help people question their own labels and look at the ones that empower them and get rid of the ones that disempower them.
BLADE: You were so good with Viggo Mortensen in “History of Violence.” What is he like as a fellow actor?
BELLO: Oh my god, such an incredibly authentic and funny man. You would never think the funny part, but he’s hysterical.
a&e features
Award-winning D.C. chef reaching new culinary heights
Anthony Jones of Marcus DC competing on ‘Top Chef’
In Anthony Jones’s kitchen, all sorts of flags fly, including his own. Executive chef at award-winning restaurant Marcus DC, Jones has reached culinary heights (James Beard Award semifinalist for Emerging Chef, anyone?), yet he’s just getting started.
Briefly stepping away from his award-winning station, Jones took a moment under a different set of lights. Recently, he temporarily gave up his post at the restaurant for a starring small-screen slot on the latest season of “Top Chef,” which debuted in March. (The show airs weekly on Bravo and Peacock).
Before his strategic slice-and-dice competition, however, Jones, who identifies as gay, draws from his deep DMV roots. In the years before “Top Chef” and the top chef spot at Marcus, he was born and raised in Sunderland, Md., in southern Maryland, near the Chesapeake.
Early memories were steeped in afternoons on boats with his dad bonding over fishing, and wandering the garden of his great-grandparents spread with fresh vegetables and a few hogs. “It was Southern, old-school ethics and upbringing,” he said. “Family and food went hand in hand.” Weekends meant grabbing bushels of crabs, dad and grandma would cook and crack them. Family members would host fish fries for extra cash. In this seafood-heavy youth, Jones managed time to sneak in episodes of the “OG” Japanese “Iron Chef” show, which helped inspire him to pursue a career in the kitchen.
Jones moved to D.C. after graduating from college, ending up at lauded Restaurant Eve, and met famed chef Marcus Samuelson, who brought him to Miami to be part of the opening team for Red Rooster Overtown. After three years, Jones moved back to D.C., where he ran Dirty Habit, reinventing and reimagining the menu, integrating West African flavors and ingredients.
Samuelson, however, wouldn’t let a talent like Jones stay away for too long. Pulling Jones back into his orbit, Samuelson elevated Jones to help him open his namesake restaurant Marcus DC, which has been named a top-five restaurant by the Washington Post. Since then, Jones has been nominated as a semifinalist for the RAMMYs Rising Culinary Star in 2026 and won the Eater DC’s Rising Chef award in 2025.
Samuelson’s Marcus is a tour de force interpreting the Black Diaspora on the plate, from the American South to West Africa, along with his signature “Swedopian” touches. Yet it’s Jones who has deeply informed the plate, elevating his own story to date. Marcus DC is primarily a seafood restaurant, which serves Jones well.
“Where I’m from is seafood heavy, and as I’ve progressed in my career, I’ve moved away from meat.” Veggies and fish are hero dishes. His own dish, Mel’s Crab Rice, was not only lauded by the Washington Post, but is framed by his youth carrying home the crustaceans from Mel’s crab truck. It’s a bowl of Carolina rice, layered with pickled okra, uni béarnaise, and crab. Jones also points to a dish on the opening menu, rockfish and brassica, paying respect to a landmark D.C. institution, Ben’s Chili Bowl. Jones reverse engineered a favorite bowl of chili that’s seafood instead of meat forward, leveraging octopus and rockfish along with different riffs of cauliflower: showing his intellectual, creative, and cultural sides.
While “Top Chef” is showing Jones’s spotlight side, he also lets his identity show at work. “In the kitchen, I make sure we’re inclusive. We don’t tolerate discrimination. Everyone that’s here should feel confident to express themselves. There are so many different flags in the kitchen.”
Jones says that he didn’t fully express his gay identity until fairly recently. He felt reluctant coming out to certain family members, “you’re scared to tell them about being different,” he says, and while that anxiety ate at him, “I’m lucky and fortunate to have unconditional love and that weight off my shoulders.”
Today, “I’m me all the time, Monday to Sunday. I’m honest with people, and my staff is honest with me.”
“Being a chef is hard,” he says, “and being a chef of color is even more difficult.”
Yet his LGBTQ identity is a juggling act, he says. “I need to keep that balance, because once someone finds out something about you, their opinion can change, whether you want it or not.”
Being on a whole season of TV cooking competition, however, might mean millions more might have an opinion of him (Jones has appeared on TV already, on an episode of “Chopped”). To prepare, he says, “I’ve just kept a level head. It’s just an honor to be on top chef with amazing people happy to be there.”
Plus, this season is set in the Carolinas, and Jones attended Johnson & Wales University in Charlotte, N.C. “It’s a full story of my life, now a monumental moment for me.”
Jones also recently was nominated for a James Beard Foundation Award. “JBF has been a north star, a dream for so long. I always had this goal on my wall.”
Being at the top spot at Marcus DC, making waves through his accolades, and cooking on Bravo means that Jones is highly visible. “I think that if someone has a similar background to me, and can see our story, trajectory, and success, they can have more ability to be themselves. This is my goal.”
Back at Marcus, Jones has plenty up his chef’s white’s sleeves. A new spring menu is in the works. He’ll be launching a new tasting menu “dining experience,” he says, and has plans to work on more events and collaborations with chefs and friends to bring in new talent and share the culinary wealth.
a&e features
Introducing the Torchbearers Awards honoring queer, trans women and nonbinary people
Meet the Legends and Illuminators lighting new paths
The Torchbearers Awards are more than recognition—they are a continuation of legacy. They honor the quiet architects of progress in our community: those who organize, advocate, build, and protect, often without fanfare but always with purpose. Rooted in a belief in intentional recognition, this honor names those who carry our movements forward—those who make room for others, who remind us that change is both generational and generative. In a time marked by uncertainty and challenge, these leaders push forward with courage, clarity, and an unwavering commitment to expanding opportunity and equity.
This year’s honorees reflect the full breadth of our community, spanning generations, backgrounds, identities, and industries. From Legends, with decades of leadership and having created pathways for others, to Illuminators, who are lighting new paths with creativity and innovation, each Torchbearer represents the power of intergenerational leadership and the strength found in our diversity. They are organizers, advocates, artists, policy leaders, healers, and changemakers whose lived experiences shape a shared vision for equity and liberation.
This award is our love letter to queer and trans women and nonbinary people who carry the flame when it would be easier to let it dim. To those who consistently show up, who use their voice and visibility and stand firm, often without recognition, so that others may live more freely and fully. The Torchbearers Awards celebrates not just what has been done, but the enduring spirit, responsibility, and collective care that ensure the work continues, and that the flame is always passed forward.
Co-Creators of the Torchbearers Awards: Shannon Alston, June Crenshaw, Heidi Ellis
Torchbearers Awards Advisory Board: Aditi Hardikar, Lesley Bryant, Jasmine Wilson-Bryant, Stephen Rutgers
ILLUMINATOR AWARDEES
- Representative Sharice Davids (she/her), (D, KS-03)
— U.S. House of Representatives - Greisa Martinez Rosas (she/her/ella)
— Executive Director, United We Dream - Paola Ramos (she/her)
— Journalist & Correspondent - Meagan A. Fitzgerald (she/her)
— Journalist & Correspondent - Jessica L. Lewis (she/her)
— Founder / Producer, Play Play DC - Savannah Wade (she/her)
— Founder, OAR Agency - Suhad Babaa (she/her)
— Filmmaker/ Former Executive Director of Just Vision - Ashlee Davis (she/her)
— Global Head of Inclusive Outcomes, Ancestry - Jazmine Hughes (she/her)
— Journalist and Former Editor at New York Times Magazine - Queen Adesuyi (they/she)
— Policy Advisor & Organizer, ReFrame Health & Justice - Michele Rayner, Esq. (she/her)
— Civil Rights Attorney, State Representative (Florida House of Representatives) - Gaby Vincent (she/her)
— Sports/Cultural Commentator and Community Leader - Jenny Nguyen (she/her)
— Founder & Owner, The Sports Bra - Denice Frohman (she/her)
— Independent Artist, Poet / Performer - Vida Rangel (she/her)
— Founder, Our Trans Capital - Roxanne Anderson (they/them)
— Executive Director, Our Space - Ann Marie Gothard (she/her)
— Co-Founder & President, Pride Live (Stonewall National Monument Visitor Center) - Diana Rodriquez (she/her)
— Co-Founder & CEO, Pride Live (Stonewall National Monument Visitor Center) - Wendi Cooper (she/her)
— Founder / Executive Director, Transcending Women - Toya Matthews (she/her)
— City of San Antonio, Texas - Mayor Gina Ortiz Jones (she/her)
— Sports/Cultural Commentator and Community Leader - Charity Blackwell (she/her)
— Poet, LGBTQ Advocate & Community Leader - Wilhelmina Indermaur (she/her)
— Director of Communications, Tyler Clementi Foundation - Em Chadwick (she/her)
— CMO, For Them & Autostraddle - Kylo Freeman (they/he)
— CEO, For Them & Autostraddle
LEGEND AWARDEES
- Sheila Alexander-Reid (she/her)
— Executive Director, PHL Diversity, Philadelphia Convention & Visitors Bureau - Cassandra Cantave Burton (she/her)
— Interim Director of Thought Leadership & Senior Research Advisor, AARP - leigh h. mosley (she/her)
— Photographer / Educator, PhotoFlo Photography - Jenn M. Jackson, PhD (they/them)
— Assistant Professor of Political Science; Author & Columnist, Syracuse University - Jordyn White (she/her)
— COO, Washington Prodigy / VP of Leadership Development & Research, HRC Foundation - AJ Hikes (they/them)
— Deputy Executive Director, ACLU - RaeShanda Lias (she/her)
— Digital Creator, RL Lockhart - Donna Payne-Hardy (she/her)
— Educator, EEO Specialist, Founder of NBJC, Former Leader at the Human Rights Campaign - Courtney R. Snowden (she/her)
— Principal, Blueprint Strategy Group - Gaye Adegbalola (she/her)
— Musician & Activist, Musician / Inductee of the Blues Hall of Fame - Cheryl A. Head (she/her)
— Independent Author, Novelist (Crime Fiction) - Letitia Gomez (she/her)
— The American LGBTQ+ Museum, Board Chair - Lynne Brown (she/her)
— Publisher, Washington Blade - Shay Franco-Clausen (She/Her/Ella/Queen)
— Political Strategist and Organizer - Melissa L. Bradley (she/her)
— Founder & Managing Partner, New Majority Ventures - Meghann Burke (she/her)
— Executive Director, NWSL Players Association - Victoria Kirby York, MPA (she/they)
— Director of Public Policy & Programs, National Black Justice Collective - Joli Angel Robinson (she/her)
— CEO, Center on Halsted - Jeannine Frisby LaRue (she/her)
— CEO, Moxie Strategies - Alice Wu (she/her)
— Film Director (Saving Face, The Half of It) / Screenwriter - Storme Webber (she/her)
— Interdisciplinary Artist / Educator, University of Washington - Kim Stone
— CEO of the Washington Spirit, Washington Spirit - Mickalene Thomas
— American Visual Artist, Mickalene Thomas Studio - Erika Lorshbough (any/they/she)
— Executive Director, interACT - J. Gia Loving (she/ella)
— Co-Executive Director, GSA Network
a&e features
D.C. springs back to life with new, returning events
Cherry blossoms, Rehoboth season kickoff, and more on tap
Longer and warmer days are back meaning: It’s time to get out of the house and enjoy Washington D.C.’s many events. Below are a few to check out this spring.
The National Museum of Women in the Arts will host “Making their Mark: Works from the Shah Garg Collection” until Sunday, July 26. This exhibition illustrates women artists’ vital role in abstraction, considers historical contributions, formal and material breakthroughs and intergenerational relationships among women artists over the last eight decades. For more details, visit. NMWA’s website.
Art in the Attic will host a pop-up on Saturday, March 14 at 6 p.m. at 1012 Madison St., Alexandria, Va. There will be a variety of vendors selling products across different modes of art. For more details, visit Eventbrite.
Play Play will host “Indoor Recess – The art of play” on Sunday, March 15 at 2 p.m. This event will embody classic recess energy, including opportunities to build and experience community and connections through games, movement, art stations, and creative freedom. Tickets are $12.51 and can be purchased on Eventbrite.
Spark Social will host “Gay Bar Crawl on U Street” on Friday, March 20 at 7:30 p.m. This will be a fun night out in gay D.C. with other gay people, whether you’re visiting D.C., new to the area, or just looking to expand your social circle. Many crawlers have formed lasting friendships and even romantic relationships after just one night out. Tickets are $35.88 and are available on Eventbrite.
Creative Suitland Arts Center will host “EFFERVESCENT: House of Swann” on Saturday, May 30 at 7 p.m. This will be a gay, good time where we will celebrate love, joy, wellness, and visibility for the LGBTQIA+ community. Tickets start at $17.85 and can be purchased on Eventbrite.
SWAG Works DC will host “Unapologetically Her” on Saturday, March 14 at 2 p.m. at 701 E St., S.E. This event is a powerful celebration of womanhood, resilience, creativity, and self-expression in honor of Women’s History Month. This all-women exhibition highlights the diverse voices, stories, and artistic perspectives of women who create boldly, live authentically, and stand confidently in their truth. This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
9:30 Club will host “Gimme Gimme Disco: A Dance Party Inspired by ABBA” on Saturday, March 14 at 6 p.m. There will also be a “Donna Summer Power Hour – The Queen of Disco” segment during this event. It’ll be one hour of music with no skips. Tickets are available on 9:30 Club’s website.
Harder Better Faster Stronger will host “Heated Rivalry Rave” on Friday, March 20 at 9 p.m. at Howard Theatre. This event is open to all ages. Tickets are available on the theater’s website.
CAMP Rehoboth hosts its 25th annual Women’s+ FEST, April 9-12 in Rehoboth Beach, Del. Entertainers include headliner Mina Hartong, a comedian, storyteller, and founder of Lez Out Loud; and singer Yoli Mayor. There are dances, dinners, pickleball, and much more. Details and tickets at camprehoboth.org.
Also in Rehoboth Beach, the Washington Blade’s 19th annual Summer Kickoff Party is set for Friday, May 15 featuring Ashley Biden, who will accept an award on behalf of her brother Beau. State Rep. Claire Snyder-Hall will also speak. More speakers and the venue to be announced soon.
The annual D.C. Cherry Blossom Festival kicks off March 21 at DAR Constitution Hall and culminates with Petalpalooza on April 4, the day-long, outdoor street party with music and art, stretching across Navy Yard, and ending with fireworks over the Anacostia River.
How Pepper the courthouse dog helps victims of abuse
Women’s FEST returns to Rehoboth Beach next week
Belarusian lawmakers approve bill to crackdown on LGBTQ rights
Calendar: April 3-9
How new barriers to health care coverage are hitting D.C.
‘Out for McDuffie’ event held at D.C. gay bar
Thousands attend ‘No Kings’ protests in D.C.
Ghanaian president welcomed to Philadelphia amid backlash over anti-LGBTQ bill
PHOTOS: ‘No Kings’ rally and march
