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A Californian conquers the kitchens of ‘MasterChef Spain’

Michael Salazar rejected by his mother because he is gay

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Michael Salazar, gay news, Washington Blade
Michael Salazar (Photo courtesy of RTVE)

A chill went through Michael Salazar’s body when, at 16, his mother asked him, without the slightest bit of shame whether he was a “faggot” — not gay or homosexual, but “faggot” — with all the contemptuous charge that this word can contain. The question caught him off guard and he felt himself dying of shame and fear.

“I froze,” Salazar says, 35 years after it happened. “I don’t know where I got courage from and I answered yes. It was then when she told me that I had to leave the house, and that’s it. She didn’t want to have a faggot under her roof.”

This bitter anecdote was heard for the first time by those who follow Spain’s version of MasterChef, a talent show about culinary skills, which began its eighth season this year. Salazar is the first American contestant on the show that airs every Monday on Spanish television. 

Salazar, 51, was born in Costa Rica and moved to the U.S. with his family when he was 7. He grew up in Long Beach, Calif., a city he calls his “hometown.”

An English teacher who is a fan of culinary arts, Salazar decided to try his luck in one of the most popular television competitions in Spain, where he has lived for eight years. He currently lives in Barcelona, close to the sea, with his husband, Fernando. The Blade spoke with him about his past, which is full of discriminatory events, and his present in which he has become a kind of celebrity who motivates many LGBTQ youth every time he appears on screen.

WASHINGTON BLADE: How do you remember life with your family in the U.S.?

SALAZAR: My family life, if you can call it that, was not very loving. Sometimes, I try to remember something fun or something that makes me feel nostalgic and it only comes to mind when the Costa Rican team arrived in Los Angeles to play a soccer game. My mother threw a party with her friends to celebrate, but I don’t remember if she won or who she played against. As a child, I imagined that I was adopted and that someday my real parents would come to take me. I saw the families of my friends as if they were on TV, both love and affection, and made me want to stay and live with them. In those years, my mother did not like the fact that I was such an effeminate child. It was a cultural and religious issue of the time. She once told me that I was the ‘family’s disrepute’. I didn’t know what the phrase meant at the time, but I knew it wasn’t good. I was about 8 or 9 years old, but it stuck with me.

BLADE: What happened after that episode where his mom kicked him out of the home for being gay?

SALAZAR: I will start by reminding you that in the 1980s we were in the midst of the HIV/AIDS epidemic and the entire gay community was in a panic. They began to organize very quickly, testing for AIDS, giving psychological help and offering shelters for those who had been kicked out of their homes. Gay and Latino youth experienced more discrimination because our families were very religious and traditional. My friends and I joined a support group organized by the MCC (Metropolitan Community Church) in Long Beach and we were helping to raise funds for people who had lost everything to AIDS. They sent me a ticket with a party invitation and my mom read it. When I arrived home from school, she told me that there was a Christian church that turned “faggots and dykes” into “normal” people, and that they had sent me a letter. She asked me why. At the time, I didn’t really understand what was going on and I didn’t even associate it with the MCC. A chill went through my body. I felt myself dying of shame and fear, because I did not know where the thing was going. I replied that I didn’t know anything about that and it was when she asked me if I was a faggot. I froze, but I don’t know where I got courage from and I answered yes. It was then when she told me that I had to leave the house, and that’s it. She did not want to have a faggot under her roof. So, I asked permission to call my sister to see if she would let me stay at her house. She said yes, but to call her quickly. My sister told me to go (to her) home and that I could stay as long as necessary, but … in a few days she was going to Costa Rica to visit relatives and she didn’t know how long she was going to stay. I promised her that as soon as I found a place to stay, I would leave.

BLADE: How did feeling discriminated against by your own family affect you?

SALAZAR: For many years, I felt guilty and I shouldn’t say that I was gay. But I met such good people who helped me understand that it wasn’t my fault and taught me to love myself. Today, I am a happily married man and I see life with optimism. I know there are things that I will not be able to change, but I do my part to be a better person every day.

BLADE: How much has your life changed since then?

SALAZAR: Having gone through that situation has made me more sensitive to other people who experience any form of discrimination. As a teacher, I instill respect in my students. I understand that there are situations that we cannot change, but what we can do is have a more optimistic view of things. I am a living example that everything can improve in life if you give it a chance. I wish that no other person goes through what I went through, but at the same time, I recognize that it is not so easy. Today, through Instagram, many young people contact me telling me that they identify with my story and that makes me very sad, because I know how bad they have it. I try to encourage them and be patient, everything will improve. Many parents also speak to me, asking how they can help their children who have admitted their orientation. I always tell them that there are support groups, both in person and online, and I encourage them to get in touch with them. I can only advise them from my experiences, however, in these associations they have groups of qualified experts who will help them better than I do.

BLADE: You said that when your mother kicked him out of the house, the California government placed you with a gay father. How different was everything from there?

SALAZAR: The Department of Human Services together with the Gay and Lesbian Center in Los Angeles formed a group called Pink Project, which works to place homeless gay and lesbian youth with gay or lesbian parents because other families almost never understood us. I had to live in Burbank, Calif. The one who welcomed me was one of those angels in my life who treated me with great respect and affection, and although I only stayed at his house for a few months, he left such a positive mark on my life that I dare to say that I am who I am, thanks to him.

BLADE: Have you ever felt discriminated against again?

SALAZAR: Unfortunately, yes. In my case, I have been discriminated against on many occasions for three reasons: For being Hispanic, gay and dark, everything that racists hate. I was very sad at first, because I felt it was the never-ending story. Afterwards I developed a thicker skin and I didn’t let it affect me so much. I am happy with who I am and I have people who love me just the same.

BLADE: And how did you end up living in Spain?

SALAZAR: I was working for a great phone company in Victorville, Calif. I made a lot of money, but at the same time it was very hard and I had a lot of stress. I had no life, I was not happy there, I wanted a change. I started traveling within the continent (North America) and nothing. So, I decided to seek out Europe. I went to London, to Paris and when I got to Madrid I said, “Oh! This is it!” I had an immediate connection to Spain and decided to come live here. That was in 2010 and, by the end of 2012, I was already living here in Barcelona.

BLADE: Why do you like life in Spain?

SALAZAR: Living in Spain is very pleasant. As a Hispanic-American I find many similarities with our culture, but here the history is more preserved and can be seen in its palaces, in its castles, in its streets … in short, in everything around it. Unlike what happened to me in the United States, where I lived to work, here I feel that I work to live, and I live very well. I have a new family and some friends who are like my family too. It is incredible that a country as small as Spain has so much cultural diversity, such as the Basques, the Catalans, the Galicians, the Andalusians … Wherever you go you find something interesting. Also, the people in Spain are very nice and welcoming. It is impossible not to fall in love with this country.

BLADE: However, you also fell in love with your current husband …

SALAZAR: Fernando and I met online. I had already planned to go to Barcelona and, once there, we met. That was at the end of 2012 and since then we started seeing each other almost every day. It was very nice. After a few months, we moved in together. On Aug. 4, 2017, we got legally married here in Barcelona. We have been a couple for eight years and married for three years.

BLADE: Do you feel part of the LGBTQ community in Spain?

SALAZAR: I am openly gay and although I am not involved in LGBTQ organizations today, when I lived in Victorville we founded the High Desert Equality, a group for socio-cultural activities, in February 2009 with some friends. Here in Spain, especially due to lack of time, I do not belong to any organization, but I do not rule out doing it soon.

BLADE: Where does your passion for cooking come from?

SALAZAR: I always liked cooking, but before I only did it more out of necessity than pleasure. For about 15 years now I started to try out new recipes and cook with different mixtures of flavor and textures, but always focusing on the traditional. In my travels — I love to travel — I have learned a lot from different gastronomic cultures and I have always tried to capture them in my dishes. This has given me more breadth when it comes to cooking. I love that my friends enjoy something that I have cooked.

BLADE: Why did you decide to join “MasterChef”?

SALAZAR: The first time I saw “MasterChef” was in 2014 and I liked it, but I couldn’t follow it due to schedule issues. In 2015, I changed my work schedule so I could watch it in full. I was so impressed that I started looking for the recipes they made and practiced them at home. I remember at first I told Fernando that someday I was going to become part of that program. I was very excited just thinking about everything I would learn. Last year, while we were watching the edition of MasterChef Celebrity I saw that they announced MasterChef was still looking for new contestants. I opened the computer and filled out the application. And after a tough selection process, here I am!

BLADE: How have you felt so far in the contest?

SALAZAR: The talent show is very difficult, but I love it. If you ask me if I recommend it, I say 1,000 times yes. Not only because of what you learn, but also because of how all the people on the show treat me: The jury, the production workers, the cameras, the makeup artists, the hair stylists … It has been a wonderful experience.

BLADE: What have been your most difficult moments so far on the show?

SALAZAR: I think that the most difficult thing for me is living with my colleagues. I’ve never been in an environment with people so different from me, and look, I’m from Los Angeles!

BLADE: Do you think that being a foreigner and gay has put you in a different position in relation to your peers?

SALAZAR: Before they selected me among the last 50 contestants, my friends said I would have more opportunities because I was gay and Latino. I almost believed it, but when I saw that in the last tryout the LGBTQ community was already very well represented, I thought, “Will I be selected for being a foreigner?” But they also called other people from different countries like Cuba, Belgium, China, Morocco, so I don’t think being a foreigner or gay had anything to do with it, it was my kitchen. 

Shine Iberia, the production company that produces “MasterChef Spain” and that is part of the international Endemol Shine Group, told the Blade that the inclusion of LGBTQ people in their productions is unequivocal. Successful programs in Spain, such as “MasterChef”or “Maestros de la Costura” in episode after episode promote the visibility and normalization of all groups and of course the LGBTQ community, showing through their talent shows what people are like regardless of their origin or option.

“It is worth noting the recent presence of Michael in this eighth season of MasterChef, a season in which Saray, a transgender Roma woman who has shared kitchens with Michael and the other 15 applicants, has also taken part,” said Shine Iberia.

BLADE: What has the program taught you so far, professionally and personally?

SALAZAR: Thanks to “MasterChef” I am perfecting myself in the things I already did. I am also learning techniques that alone would have been very difficult. Personally, I tell you that now I appreciate more time with my partner and my friends, details that before did not give much importance, now I value them more.

BLADE: How much of its roots are in your dishes?

SALAZAR: A lot. We in California are lucky to have a lot of Mexican influence, which at the same time has a lot to do with Spanish food. In the United States, we grow with a wide variety of foods from all over the world. All that influence has helped me to improvise faster than the rest of my teammates in the different tests.

BLADE: How about the relationship with the judges and the rest of the teammates?

SALAZAR: When we are not taping, you have the opportunity to chat with the judges and for me they are very close and charming people. I personally have gotten along very well with all three, but I must admit that Samantha Vallejo-Nágera has left the best impression on me. As for my colleagues; I have more relationship with Teresa, Adrienne, Sito and Mónica.

BLADE: How do you feel during the taping? What feelings do you experience?

SALAZAR: There is a whirlwind of emotions on and off the set. It is a combination of stress, nerves and adrenaline. I have a better time during the tapings. Everyone treats us very well, from the cleaners to the managers. It is another world! I love it.

Michael Salazar (Photo courtesy of RTVE)

BLADE: How has the Spanish public received it?

SALAZAR: Very good. On social media networks, they do not stop supporting me. Since I came to Spain for the first time as a tourist and until now I have felt at home. The people here are very welcoming and make you feel like one of them. They make me feel very loved.

BLADE: What are your biggest aspirations in the culinary world?

SALAZAR: I have always dreamed of having my own business related to cooking. I thought about setting up a small restaurant that would only be open in the evening. But already with the experience I have I know that the best thing for me would be a catering service. In fact, I am in contact with my colleague Teresa to, in the not too distant future, will be able to start something here in Barcelona. Who knows if in the future it can open a subsidiary in Los Angeles or in Washington, D.C.

BLADE: What would it mean for you to get the “MasterChef Spain” trophy?

SALAZAR: Winning the title of “MasterChef Spain” not only represents money or fame, it is also having achieved one more of my goals. The opportunity to study at the Basque Culinary Center is something you would never have imagined. Everything you could learn and the experience you would gain … it would be great.

BLADE: Have you returned to the United States?

SALAZAR: Yes. Last summer, Fernando and I went for a walk and visited my family and friends. We were in Orlando, San Francisco, Long Beach (of course), Hollywood, Las Vegas, and other cities. We were there for three weeks and, of course, we didn’t have enough time to see everything we wanted. We are thinking of taking another trip through places that we do not know, such as New Orleans, Washington, D.C., Cleveland or New York and many others.

BLADE: What ties do you have with California and the U.S.?

SALAZAR: I have many friends in California with whom we maintain contact and also my host father. In Long Beach, I have an aunt who I love very much. And in Florida I have my sister who I adore. America will always be my home. I am and will continue to be American. I have spoken to my husband that in the future, when we are retired, we could go live in Cocoa Beach. (Fla.).

From right: Michael Salazar with his husband, Fernando Frias, in Los Angeles (Photo courtesy of Michael Salazar)
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Bar Betsie, inviting and intimate, marks one-year anniversary

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Ralph Brabham, Drew Porterfield, and JP Sabatier are owners of Bar Betsie. (Photo by Scott Suchman)

Not that a basic vodka-soda should ever dare to appear in print on the craft cocktail list at year-old Bar Betsie, but if it did, its name would be written in big black block letters, back-lit, on a marquee behind the 14-seat bar, with its ingredients – Tito’s, seltzer water – sitting visible on a shelf above.

Inviting and intimate, and with that arresting visual representation of cocktail ingredients along the wall, Bar Betsie has brought its vibes-forward approach to a dynamic corner of bustling Union Market. The sophomore effort from owners JP Sabatier, Ralph Brabham, and Drew Porterfield, the trio took a different tack at Bar Betsie than at their other, older (though not by much) 14th Street bar, Jane Jane.

Bar Betsie allowed Sabatier, Brabham, and Porterfield to expand their creativity. The three first connected several years ago, when JP was manager of Maydan and Brabham and Porterfield owned Beau Thai and BKK Cookshop. Immediately hitting it off, they dreamed of opening a bar together and in 2021, it became a reality, in the form of Jane Jane.

Featuring a short list of craft, rotating cocktails and shareable bar snacks, Bar Betsie is Jane Jane’s “grittier, edgier” sister. While Jane is named after Porterfield’s mother, Bar Betsie gets its moniker from Sabatier’s mom.

“While Jane Jane is going on a field trip, Bar Betsie feels like you’re skipping school,” says Brabham. Bar Betsie brings more of a party vibe, he says. They landed in the Union Market neighborhood after thinking through what a second bar might feel like: not a carbon copy, but an atmosphere unique to its physical space and surroundings. Union Market and its transitional nature translates to the bar’s interiors: its mood lighting regardless of time of day, the crushed-velvet booths, the blood-red curved curtains to the bathrooms and kitchen, and the air of timeless mystique contrast to the elevated, buttoned-up cocktail bar that is Jane Jane. No one would bat an eye if a cabaret broke out on top of the bar. When in Bar Betsie, they say, it’s as if the warm lighting cuts through the vibe (and the stories) of 50-year-old cigarette smoke in the air.

They decided to make the cocktail menu more concise: 12 to 15 signature drinks at a time. Tequila and mezcal lead the program (again, a nod to mom Betsie, who prefers agave-based liquors). Drinks rotate seasonally (a cocktail flip is happening this month) and are developed committee-style to ensure that the whole team has input. The Clover Cult has been especially popular, with bluecoat gin, raspberry, vermouth, and lemon, but passed through a high-speed blender that whips the drink into a frenzy: it’s a “yummy, sweet cocktail with foam with a beautiful pink color,” says Brabham.

Beers feature locally brewed options, like from DC Brau and Atlas, alongside a wine program featuring skin-contact wines. And hewing to that party-forward vibe, there’s a host of shooters like the blackberry firing squad with tequila and lime.

As for the food, Bar Betsie has a true kitchen, allowing Sabatier to stretch his cheffy wings (he attended the Culinary Institute of America). Bar snacks are plentiful, including Buffalo chicken dip, a giant pretzel with beer cheese, and chicken tinga nachos that are “fucking delicious” says Raplh. “We’re aiming for food that’s snacky, salty, crunchy, and tasty to pair with the drinks.” Guest chefs show up on Sundays for kitchen cameos.

Since opening Bar Betsie, the trio has welcomed some additional acclaim. They’ve begun to set up activations with other bars; last month, they held a pop-up at new cocktail den Frank’s Wild Years, and there’s an upcoming collaboration with Death &Co, the famed bar in Blagden.

Bar Betsie occupies a unique place in the city’s pantheon of drinking destinations. All three owners are gay, and yet this (like Jane Jane) is not a gay bar.

“We never hide who we are,” say Brabham and Porterfield. “There’s always the recognition of the community we come from, and love, and want to celebrate.” 

They want people to know who they are and what they stand for, showing that by being inclusive and open in their support of the community. They work to ensure that the staff is diverse and inclusive as well. They also dropped an exclusive Easter egg: behind the medicine-cabinet mirrors in the bathroom is a video screen playing footage of drag queens either getting ready, fixing, or removing makeup and wigs. “It’s a little IYKYK moment, something fun and true to who we are as a queer-celebrating and owned space,” they say.

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Ryan Murphy’s ‘Monster’ vilifies the lesbian

Netflix show promotes stereotype that queer women are dangerous

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Ella Beatty stars in ‘Lizzie Borden.’ (Photo courtesy of Netflix)

Ryan Murphy’s “Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story” just premiered on Netflix and became the most watched show on the platform. Murphy and his series are deeply controversial. The past three seasons have focused on convicted killers Jeffrey Dahmer, Lyle and Erik Menendez, and Ed Gein, and have garnered considerable criticism for sensationalizing real-life trauma, exploiting victims for entertainment, and glorifying the perpetrators.

But his newest season centers on Lizzie Borden, the white, affluent Massachusetts woman still referenced today in nursery rhymes who was never convicted of killing her parents Andrew and Abby Borden. As with Murphy’s other seasons, the show plays fast-and-loose with real-life history, instead turning a real-life crime into a psychosexual spectacle. 

In real life, Lizzie was found not guilty by an all-male jury in the highly publicized 1892 trial, largely due to a lack of evidence including blood on her clothing and a murder weapon. Her initial statement contradicted her later testimony but her defense team argued that the morphine a doctor repeatedly gave her likely caused her confusion. But despite the fact that Lizzie was acquitted in court, she was ostracized by her community during her life and has been branded a murderer ever since.

Murphy’s highly fictionalized retelling of Lizzie’s story leans into this accusation not only that Lizzie murdered her father and stepmother with an axe but that she was successful in covering it up with the help of the maid Bridget Sullivan. Murphy not only concocts a sapphic relationship between Lizzie and Bridget, pinning the idea of killing Lizzie’s parents on the widely traveled woman who dyes her hair and is repeatedly called a lesbophobic slur by Lizzie’s stepmother, but also portrays Lizzie as an inspiration to Aileen Carol Wuornos, a woman who killed seven men who solicited sex and was also in a relationship with a woman. 

Further, Murphy’s retelling creates a false ending to Lizzie’s story. While in real life, Lizzie and her sister Emma buy a house called “Maplecroft” and live there for the rest of their lives, Murphy instead imagines Bridget returning sporadically for romantic rendezvous with Lizzie and eventually moving back in with her and marching together for women’s right to vote. In real life, Bridget left town immediately after providing testimony and lived in Montana until she died. 

Lesbophobia is at the heart of this retelling of Borden’s story. Despite the fact that Murphy depicts Lizzie and Bridget having sex and possibly getting married or at least promising themselves to one another wearing flower crowns, there is no evidence that Lizzie and Bridget had any romantic or sexual relationship. If they did have a relationship, it would likely have been hidden and any evidence destroyed, but records show that Lizzie herself refused to call Bridget by her real name, instead referring to her as “Maggie,” the name of their previous maid. It was only Lizzie’s stepmother Abby who called Bridget her real name. In Murphy’s retelling, it’s Lizzie’s stepmother Abby who refuses to learn or use Bridget’s actual name and treats her with disdain along with her stepdaughter.

Some people online argue that we are witnessing Lizzie’s story retold through Wuornos’s perspective, so adding in elements of child abuse and sapphic relationships would make sense, but there is no record that Wuornos ever visited Lizzie Borden’s home, or that she was inspired by Borden throughout her life. Instead, Murphy and his co-creator Ian Brennan use (or I would say exploit) Wuornos as a thematic device to make broad stereotypes about female rage across generations. In doing so, they conflate two real-life examples of violence to sapphic individuals.

Depicting a lesbian relationship in this way is not progress, nor is it fruitful representation today. As sapphic shows are increasingly cut and cancelled, Murphy’s inclusion just reinforces the lesbophobic and sexist stereotype that lesbians and queer women are “dangerous” to straight women and abet or incite violence against men and a family unit. At a time when anti-LGBTQ+ legislation and real-world violence and murder of LGBTQ+ people, especially queer and trans people of color, is exploding, stories that frame murder of a family unit as germinating from a sapphic relationship feed into far right narratives.

They further the myth popularized by far right leaders (including those in the highest echelons of government) that LGBTQ+ people are dangerous, a threat to heterosexual norms and family life, despite the data showing that children of same-sex parents have above average health and well-being according to research by the University of Melbourne.

Today, many LGBTQ+ people feel they have to be (or are forced to be) idealized versions of themselves in order to stave off anti-LGBTQ+ stigma, policing and violence. These “acceptable” behaviors and appearances are rooted not only in cisgender, heterosexual norms but also white supremacy, colonialism, xenophobia, and ableism. It is respectability politics that tell us how we can and should behave (including those perpetuating in the wider LGBTQ+ community) and push LGBTQ+ people to assimilate into a society governed by queerphobic normativity. 

I hope it’s clear that I’m not trying to argue that we cannot and should not have shows that depict queer women who kill, or at the very least queer women who are unethical or morally complex. We need these depictions because they ask difficult questions and they reference how some LGBTQ+ people can be and are unethical. In fact, several public LGBTQ+ figures are associated with employee abuse and exploitation, ableism, and fat phobia. 

But when Lizzie’s sapphic identity is invented to drive the story along, arguably to generate interest (especially straight men’s interest) in this spectacle of historical slop, it’s not a story that invites discourse and dimensionality, it’s one that collapses Lizzie, Wuornos, and queer women’s identities and relationships to plot devices. It objectifies and fetishizes queer women, arguably committing violence against not only Lizzie but also Wuornos.

And when there is so little representation of sapphic relationships on mainstream television or streaming platforms, it makes this the vast majority of representation that queer girls and women will see of themselves first, and that the straight public will see. Historians will know that Murphy’s depiction of Lizzie’s life is wrong, but many viewers will not and may not go digging for the truth.

Why not focus on the stories of bisexual, lesbian, and queer women who really existed, shared their identities (sometimes covertly, sometimes not), and had long-term partners? In fact, “Boston marriages” were common in this time period and referred to women living together when sexual and romantic relationships between women were illegal, partially because penal systems didn’t know how women could have sex with one another and didn’t want to put the idea in “impressionable” women’s minds. Why not focus on these stories instead of creating a fictionalized account? We have always existed; we do not need to invent relationships.

Murphy’s depiction of Lizzie Borden is deeply problematic. Lesbophobia is not the only issue at the heart of Murphy’s drama, but it merits a broader discussion about how mainstream media routinely hurt queer women and is part of perpetuating queerphobic violence, and what we all lose in the process. 

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Writing a play about Lincoln leads down a rabbit hole to a closet

As LGBT History Month arrives, new hints that our greatest president was gay

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Questions about President Abe Lincoln’s sexual orientation have persisted and a new revelation about Lord Byron only adds to the speculation. (Public domain photo by Alexander Gardner)

Abraham Lincoln treasured poetry and it turns out his particular favorites were pretty queer, but I never would have detected that if I hadn’t decided to write a stage comedy about his sex life. In my research for the play, I stumbled across what I believe is new evidence that Lincoln and Joshua Speed were lovers. The remarkable thing is that the evidence has been sitting in plain sight for more than 150 years. 

The rabbit hole swallowed me in 2019, when C.A. Tripp’s revolutionary biography “The Intimate World of Abraham Lincoln” somehow fell into my hands. I was embarrassingly late to the Lincoln-was-gay party—Tripp’s book had come out 14 years earlier—and the wonderful-to-me news that Lincoln played for my team started me plotting out a play, because I was pretty sure if I didn’t know this, lots of people didn’t and inquiring minds want to know, and the young queers of America should be told that they have yet another genius over whom to kvell. 

Historians and myth makers alike—often it’s hard to tell the difference—have always painted Abe straight, and now that it’s in question they’ve gotten peevish and insistent because, c’mon, bro, everybody knows that in the 19th century all the guys were writing each other gushingly romantic letters and sharing a bed every night for four years. Meanwhile, the Queer Studies crowd assures us that they, the inventors of homosexuality, had not yet invented it, so it couldn’t be that. 

But what kind of play to write? I wanted to put at least two of his lovers into it, and no playwright with any sense of drama would omit Abe’s mad, physically abusive, spendthrift wife Mary. To get all of them in the same place at the same time meant bedroom farce. Keeping one’s lovers from knowing about each other is the keystone of bedroom farce and why the sets have so many doors. Speed, the great love of Lincoln’s life, who often visited the White House during the Civil War, would arrive while Lincoln’s wartime lover Army Captain David Derickson was there, too, and Abe would conceal them from each other and from Mary, who is suspicious and dangerous and prone to striking her husband. I also folded in Lincoln’s writing of the Emancipation Proclamation, which in the play is helped along by an invented Black housekeeper, who has suspiciously 20th-century opinions and a shiny new invention: the animatronic steampunk Lincoln robot. “The Loves of Lincoln” finally had its world premiere on June 19 of this year in Memphis, Tenn., where it was nominated for the best new original play of the 2025–26 season, and lost. Now we’re getting to the part about Lord Byron. Wait for it. It’s coming. We’re still setting the scene.

A cute, redheaded, gay Broadway producer told me the play would be stronger with a different kind of ending and for once a producer’s note was spot on—the play needed a final confrontation between Lincoln and Speed over love and slavery. The Speeds had dozens of slaves—lots more than Mary Todd Lincoln’s family, who had a few themselves. To write the scene I needed to know more than I did about the Speed-Lincoln relationship during the war. Speed was helping Lincoln keep the border state of Kentucky in line, but on the other hand his great wealth depended on slavery. 

Time for some research. Enter “Your Friend Forever, A. Lincoln: The Enduring Friendship of Abraham Lincoln and Joshua Speed” (2016, Columbia University Press) by Charles B. Strozier, a “psychobiographer” who does the usual somersaults to explain away Lincoln’s behavior as straight because writing gushingly romantic letters to other guys and sleeping in the same bed for four years was absolutely not gay in the 19th century, which is proved by the fact that all the guys were doing it. Which kind of made me want to build a time machine and stop off in 19th-century Illinois on my way to ancient Greece. And then, suddenly, sitting there quietly on page 45, like a dangling thread on a cardigan begging to be pulled, was the interesting datum that Joshua lent his gangly, athletic bedmate books, among them Joshua’s “favorite”: Lord Byron.

The same Lord Byron who cut a swath a kilometer wide across the comely young men of Greece? The notorious libertine and sodomite—that Lord Byron? Well, yes, and it’s not hard to draw a line straight from there to Lincoln’s closet (coincidentally, one of the doors in The Loves of Lincoln leads into a closet—“Why is my husband always in the closet?”), but for some reason, up to now, no one I know of has drawn that line.

Understand, just reading Byron does not make Josh and Abe homosexuals. Byron was a big seller and lots of straight men read him, though perhaps not while gazing dreamily into each other’s eyes (Joshua’s wide and blue, Abe’s a melancholy gray), and OK we don’t know that’s exactly how it went down, but we do know other interesting things thanks to William Herndon.

Bill was a clerk in Speed’s general store, the store Speed and Lincoln slept above, and later the junior partner in Lincoln’s Springfield law practice. Herndon worshipped Lincoln. After the assassination he interviewed pretty much every significant person in Lincoln’s life, in what Strozier called one of the first oral history projects in America. Naturally, he interviewed Speed, who reported Lincoln’s passion for the poetry of Byron. The sexual significance of the connection between Speed, Byron, and Lincoln has up to now been ignored by all biographers—even the queer ones, like Tripp, who tried and did make the case for Lincoln’s homosexuality.  Speed told Herndon he had introduced Lincoln to Byron: “I don’t think he had ever read much of Byron previous to my acquaintance with him.” Lord Byron’s poetry was a stew of intense male friendship, forbidden sexuality, secrecy, alienation, and erotic misbehavior, and in the wake of his scandalous divorce his name had for years been a transatlantic byword for transgressive sexuality. Byron also became, alongside Burns, Milton and Shakespeare, one of Lincoln’s four favorite writers.

Here’s where things get juicy. Speed said that, in particular, “Lincoln loved The Bride of Abydos.” Byron wrote the poem in the wake of his travels through the Ottoman Empire, which was partly what we today would call sex tourism. The poem’s beautiful young hero Selim is extremely feminized, conceals his true identity from his girlfriend (whom everyone thinks is his sister but they’re cousins), and only later reveals that he has a secret double life—in the case of the poem, as the leader of a band of pirates. Now there’s a secret life with an All-Male Cast. We’ll let you supply the pirate joke that goes right here.

It gets better. Herndon’s admittedly fragmentary notes from the Speed interview also specifically bring up Byron’s “To Inez,” the extraordinary lyric in “Childe Harold” in which a man tells a woman that her beauty gives him no pleasure, that her eyes scarcely charm him, and that she must not attempt to discover his “secret woe” or “unmask” his heart. The subtext that leaps off the page, given that Byron was, as the actor Michael Redgrave described himself to his son, “to say the least of it, bisexual,” is that the speaker is in the closet. In the last stanza, he begs her not to pry:

What is that worst? Nay, do not ask—

In pity from the search forbear:

Smile on—nor venture to unmask Man’s heart, 

and view the Hell that’s there.

So, queer-coded Byronic poetry formed an important part of Lincoln’s imaginative world, and Speed remembered that fact nearly 30 years later, and told it to Herndon almost as if leaving literary breadcrumbs for posterity. As far as I have been able to determine, no previous Lincoln biographer or scholar of Lincoln’s sexuality has examined the queer implications of the Byron poems Speed specifically remembered Lincoln reading. Why has this been missed?

All of this would be meaningless if Speed and Lincoln didn’t understand that Byron was a lover of men, but I assert that they would have. Lincoln was a discerning reader with a famously penetrating, tenacious mind that wouldn’t let go of a thing until he understood it thoroughly—and a huge fund of worldly knowledge. He was by this time in the Illinois Legislature, had campaigned all over the state, and lawyers often encounter the seamy side of life, whether they seek it out or not. Furthermore, although Byron’s indisputable affairs with men weren’t explicitly documented in 19th century biographies and periodicals as they are today (the conventions and laws of the time all but guaranteed euphemism), rumors of Byron’s “unnatural” conduct crossed the Atlantic even during his lifetime. Articles repeatedly referred to an unnamed, horrifying, or “unnatural” offense, a “peculiar enormity,” and conduct violating the “ban of nature.” In 19th century usage, “unnatural crime” was a familiar euphemism for sodomy, while phrases like “peculiar enormity” and “ban of nature” invited readers to imagine sexual offenses too scandalous to name. Why use the words at all if readers weren’t going to get the point? American readers had easy access to Byron biographies and memoirs, including Thomas Medwin’s “Conversations of Lord Byron” and Thomas Moore’s enormously influential “Letters and Journals of Lord Byron,” while American periodicals discussed the Byron memoir burned by his friends and the salacious suspicions around its contents. Lincoln and Speed would certainly have understood that one of the unmentionable sexual accusations surrounding Byron was man-on-man action.

Lincoln’s love of Byron’s queer-coded writings, fostered by Speed, “proves” little on its own, but a lot when added to the rest of the evidence. And it’s part of an even bigger story: reversing the erasure of queerness from history and documenting that many of humankind’s greatest achievements are thanks to queer individuals. Both Lincoln and Speed had beards, literal and metaphorical—they didn’t want their secret spilled while they were alive. But then again, I like to think that when Joshua Speed told William Herndon of Lincoln’s love for those poems, he imagined a day when their love could be decoded and celebrated. Come to think of it, that day is today.

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