News
Homocon was an affair to remember
Gay conservatives, Ann Coulter celebrate our fabulous freedom
Conservative pundit Ann Coulter brought her usual sense of audaciousness to last weekend's Homocon. (Blade file photo by Michael Key)
It was an affair to remember. Last Saturday, GOProud hosted its Homocon event, appropriating a term that has been used derisively to describe gay conservatives. The event, which organizers plan to make annual, took place at the Manhattan apartment of Peter Thiel, the billionaire co-founder of Pay Pal, who is based in the Bay Area.
The purpose of the event was to welcome GOProud supporters in a New York City venue and also make a national splash. But controversy quickly ensued as controversial Ann Coulter was the featured speaker. The event was something to behold: lots of hot young volunteers wearing tight “freedom is fabulous” T-shirts (a phrase coined in this column and newspaper), even hotter bartenders and wait staff and an apartment that made me wish that I had co-founded Pay Pal.
As I mingled around the room, I met people from just about everywhere. I met three Canadians who flew into New York just for Homocon. Other folks who traveled for the event were a North Carolinian, a Brit and a few from Los Angeles. There were also a lot of people from the District, GOProud’s home turf.
In sum, there were a lot of interesting people at the event, including a world-famous porn star. And, despite Esquire calling it a room of gay men, there were several women there. One of them was Margaret Hoover. She is a fabulous straight woman who is dedicated to marriage equality and is part of the American Foundation for Equal Rights. AFER’s purpose is to achieve marriage equality and is funding Ted Olson and David Boies’ court fight against Proposition 8.
Hoover had this to say about the event: “What’s unique about GOProud, particularly this event, is that they are the only group that actively strives to engage their skeptics. Debating Joe Farah and inviting Ann Coulter to speak demonstrates the best of the American system — that when we talk to each other reasonably, with respect and persistence, we can win hearts and minds. Hearts were changed at the World Net Daily Take America Back conference. With Ann, we listened and disagreed, but the effort to reach out instead of speaking in an echo chamber is remarkable.”
And I also disagreed. Coulter went on a rant against gay marriage. She also does not like lesbians, as was demonstrated by her calling the Mississippi high schooler who wanted to take her girlfriend to the prom an “annoying lesbian.” When Coulter says that she likes gays, she means gay males. But Coulter was only a small part of a bigger event.
Tammy Bruce, an author, Fox News commentator and lesbian feminist who ran the Los Angeles chapter of NOW for several years was at Homocon. We got a chance to chat in the hall of Thiel’s apartment:
Jessica Lee: What was your overall reaction to the Homocon event tonight?
Tammy Bruce: I think it’s terrific; it’s our generation.
Lee: Can you define “our generation?”
Bruce: Our generation is we who are moving into our 40s and 50s and had to deal with AIDS and the ignorance on that issue. It is a generation that has moved from wanting more from government to realizing that maybe less government is the answer. As we get older, we have a sense that we are now in charge of our lives and the country. And while our lives are not necessarily easy, we are doing well because we are Americans. And we have to ask ourselves why we are doing well, especially being in New York today where Iranian leader Ahmadinijad has recently been. That reminds you of the power and importance of this nation and the power of importance of what we can do with it.
So our generation, and being a right of center gay, is about embracing who you are, knowing the importance of activism but also being respectful that we wake up first as Americans every day.
As we get older, we also see what works and was doesn’t. We have learned that liberalism does not work. That is why, when someone like Barack Obama, who is my age, doesn’t get it, something is wrong with that person.
Lee: Don’t you also think that the young voters who embraced Obama had never seen the Carter years, gas rationing and stagflation, and take prosperity as a given?
Bruce: It is a younger generation, and just like every younger generation there is a whole host of things that they have missed. Our responsibility as people who have gone through certain things, going through the Carter years and the 70s and 80s, AIDS and the abortion wars — any time when any group wants to interfere with the nature of who we are and what we do, however that manifests, at first we worked on it thinking that government is the answer, but you find out as you get older that it is not. Whenever government gets involved not only does it get screwed up, but then they want more power. Then we lose our individual power. The only answer regardless of the economic situation is for people to be able to live the lives that they want to live: personally, in business and as entrepreneurs.
Lee: Tonight Ann Coulter made a comment that gays are high income and therefore should not complain about being discriminated against. Is that not the same argument that has been used against Jews for centuries?
Bruce: It is. And the interesting thing is that we do earn more money, because the system has forced us to be independent. Those who are more successful are more isolated from government controls and support and we find ways to make our lives better.
Lee: Because we can’t rely on our families or the government?
Bruce: Exactly. And so when you look at that in a larger context, those who rely on government are still in poverty and hurting right now. It’s not about being a Jew or being gay, it is about striking out on one’s own. That is the thing that makes a person a success.
Lee: Which is what Jews have always had to do to survive.
Bruce: Exactly. So when you look at, historically, what works and what doesn’t, we know what works. What works is small government, individual initiative and the American individualist sensibility. I think that bodes well for gay conservatives, because Americans really want what is best for their families and the future. Supporting gays might be at odds with their faith, or may not be, but the bottom line, especially with Obama, is that we now know that this nation is at risk, that we must work shoulder to shoulder, that we have more in common than not even though there are people who say otherwise.
I think tonight is very exciting because it highlights my generation that is the power generation that realizes what is important, what we need to do now, and it bodes well for the future. It also sends a very good message to young people: that there is a different way of doing things, and it is at least worth considering. And I think that a lot of people now are open to different ideas because what they were told was going to work with Barack Obama not only didn’t, but it is destroying things that are very important in our lives.
Lee: And don’t you think that when you give the government the power to help you, via ENDA or something similar, you also give the government the power to discriminate against you. And if you look at it, it is the federal government that does 99 percent of the discrimination against gay people.
Bruce: Well, exactly. If you are looking to the federal government you are looking to politicians and politicians only care about themselves. You can look at the Clintons—they did more damage to gay civil rights than any Republican ever in office. So politicians are politicians. No one is going to be our daddy. No one is going to be our savior but ourselves. As long as you look to the government to feel good about yourself in the morning, you’re in trouble. As long as you are looking for someone else to help you, then you are putting off something that you have to do yourself.
State Department
State Department implements anti-trans bathroom policy
Memo notes directive corresponds with White House executive order
The State Department on April 20 announced employees cannot use bathrooms that correspond with their gender identity.
The Daily Signal, a conservative news website, reported the State Department announced the new policy in a memo titled “Updates Regarding Biological Sex and Intimate Spaces, Including Restrooms.”
The State Department has not responded to the Washington Blade’s request for comment on the directive.
“The administration affirms that there are two sexes — male and female — and that federal facilities should operate on this objective and longstanding basis to ensure consistency, privacy, and safety in shared spaces,” State Department spokesperson Tommy Piggot told the Daily Signal. “In line with President Trump’s executive order this provides clear, uniform guidance to the department by grounding policy in biological sex as determined at birth.”
President Donald Trump shortly after he took office in January 2025 issued an executive order that directed the federal government to only recognize two genders: male and female. The sweeping directive also ordered federal government agencies to “effectuate this policy by taking appropriate action to ensure that intimate spaces designated for women, girls, or females (or for men, boys, or males) are designated by sex and not identity.”
The Daily Signal notes the new State Department policy “does not prohibit single-occupancy restrooms.”
National
I’m telling the scared little girl I once was it’s okay to feel free
This week is Lesbian Visibility Week
Uncloseted Media published this article on April 23.
By SOPHIE HOLLAND | At 13 years old, I remember looking in the mirror in my Toronto bathroom and thinking, “Yeah, I’m a lesbian.” At the time, I thought it was a dirty word. Thinking back, it could be because the first time I heard it was when a family member said, “I don’t know what a lesbian is, they are like aliens.”
And although I walked around in camouflage Crocs with a rainbow My Little Pony charm, plaid knee-length shorts and a shark tooth necklace (yes, these are all, in my opinion, stereotypically lesbian apparel!), I didn’t feel like I fit the mold. The longer I thought about it, the worse I felt, so I buried my feelings deep inside.
Now I am 25, and I have been out since I was 22. Three years ago, I never could have imagined that I’d be working for a queer news publication and celebrating Lesbian Visibility Week, an annual event meant to honor and uplift lesbian perspectives and highlight the hardships our community faces. To me, LVW is so important because, frankly, it has been an absolute shit show getting here, to a place where I feel love and joy most days.
I think back to the frustration of constantly being asked, “Do you have a boyfriend?” Of watching princess movies and seeing a broken girl only find herself when her prince charming arrives. I remember listening to music that was always about heterosexual relationships. I remember feeling left out in high school when, one by one, my friends got boyfriends.
I tried the boyfriend, and I tried really hard for it to work at a large detriment to my wellbeing. I brainwashed myself into thinking I was probably bisexual, which I told my closest friends around 16 and unsuccessfully told my parents at the same age. I was probably subconsciously using this as a litmus test of their acceptance and to soothe the anxiety I felt around my sexuality.
Learning to love who I am did not only come from me unraveling my internalized lesbophobia and dissecting the oppressive societal messages of heteronormativity. It came from meeting an awesome community of lesbians and queers. I found people who understood my worldview and who showed me the ropes. I no longer had to stutter over concepts like lesbian loneliness or my frustration with misogynistic straight men.
They all just got it.
Without this community, I am not sure if I could be as warm and confident in myself as I am today.
And while I still experience homophobia, like being spat on while walking with an ex in downtown Toronto or having a stranger yell in my face “Are you fucking lesbians?” in Kensington Market, the joy and love still outweighs the nasty.
So, as the sentimental dyke that I have become, I decided to ask a set of lesbians in my orbit — including my friends as well as Uncloseted staffers, board members and followers — if they would share a little bit about what makes them love being a lesbian. And now, I can share it with all of you. Here they are. Happy LVW!
Timi Sotire
Falling in love with her was a reset. I felt like a kid again, hopeful about the future. We’ve had to overcome many obstacles to be together, but I’d choose her in every lifetime. I was sick with a long-term health condition when we met, and hanging out with Sophia really helped me with my recovery after my surgery.
Bella Sayegh
Being a lesbian is one of the most beautiful things in the world. To be authentically yourself in resistance and joy is so special within the lesbian community.
Parker Wales
When I met Liv, I finally understood why almost every song is about love.
Gillian Kilgour
There is no connection quite as perfect as between lesbians, no one sees me like my lesbians do.
Chyna Price
There’s many things I love about being a lesbian. But here are my top three:
- There’s just a deeper understanding when it comes to being loved by another woman.
- The next one would be the sense of community, especially being a POC masculine-presenting lesbian. I don’t feel like I’m cosplaying as someone else like I felt like I was doing before I came out.
- There’s so much history going back to the 1800s on how we found and fought for our love. That fight makes me proud because it shows me … that we’ve [found] ways to express our love even when it was misunderstood, illegal and deemed as madness.
Hope Pisoni
Before I knew I was a lesbian, romantic relationships seemed suffocating — it felt like everyone would expect me to act my part in the meticulous performance that is heterosexuality. But meeting my spouse and discovering our identities together showed me just how freeing it could be to love without a script to follow.
Leital Molad
It was the joy of watching the New York Sirens defeat the Toronto Sceptres at our first professional women’s hockey game — surrounded by hundreds (maybe thousands?) of cheering lesbians.
Angela Earl
I spent years building a life that looked right. But I never felt settled, and eventually I started asking what would actually make me happy. Coming out was about more than who I love, it was letting go of everything I was told to be. The last few years have felt like coming home to a life that had been waiting for me.
Tali Bray
What I love about being a lesbian is what I love about being in love … the wonder and joy of “oh, this is what it’s supposed to feel like.” I love moving through the world with women.
Izzy Stokes
I didn’t fall in love until I realized that queerness was an option. My queer friends have helped me see so much more than I grew up seeing. I’m so proud of us, and I’m so grateful for my lesbian community.
Nandika Chatterjee
When I met my fiancée is when I started to feel most like myself. That meant loving myself for who I am and embracing my identity as a lesbian. I felt free in a way I have never before. That’s the long and short of it.
Liz Lucking
The love and joy of being a lesbian is getting to live the life I dreamed of but never thought I would get to have!
Reflections
As I read these beautiful entries, it’s not lost on me that we’re still living in a world where lesbians are more likely to struggle with maternity problems, fetishization, and compulsory heterosexuality — not to mention the intersectional pressures of racism from both inside and outside the queer community. That’s part of why, according to a 2024 survey, 22 percent of LGBTQ women have attempted suicide, and 66 percent have sought treatment for trauma.
So if you are a lesbian who isn’t out or doesn’t feel safe, I hope you read this and can glean some hope from these messages. So when you look in the mirror, you know that it’s okay to release the weight — which can feel so heavy — of a heteronormative world.
We still have a long fight until all lesbians can feel safe to be themselves, but this is a community that does not back away from the tough, from the joy, from being loud and from all the other things that it takes to start a small revolution.
Hell yeah, lesbians! Here’s to you.
*I am signing off with my cat on my lap and a pride flag over my head <3.
Cuba
Trans parent charged with kidnapping, allegedly fled to Cuba with child
Cuban authorities helped locate Rose Inessa-Ethington
Federal authorities have charged a transgender woman with kidnapping after she allegedly fled to Cuba with her 10-year-old child.
An affidavit that Federal Bureau of Investigation Special Agent Jennifer Waterfield filed in U.S. District Court for the District of Utah on April 16 notes the child is a “biological male who identifies as a female” and “splits time living with divorced parents who share custody” in Cache County, Utah.
Waterfield notes the child on March 28 “was supposed to be traveling by car to” Calgary, Alberta, “for a planned camping trip with his transgender mother, Rose Inessa-Ethington, Rose’s partner, Blue Inessa-Ethington, and Blue’s 3-year-old child.”
The affidavit notes the group instead flew from Vancouver, British Columbia, to Mexico City on March 29. Waterfield writes the Inessa-Ethingtons and the two children then flew from Mérida, Mexico, to Havana on April 1.
The 10-year-old child called her biological mother on March 28 after they arrived in Canada. The custody agreement, according to the affidavit, required Rose Inessa-Ethington to return the child to her former spouse on April 3.
“Interviews of MV [Minor Victim] 1’s family members provided significant concerns for MV 1’s well-being, as MV 1 was born a male, however, identifies as a female child, which is largely believed to be due to manipulation by Rose Inessa-Ethington,” reads the affidavit. “Concerns exist that MV 1 was transported to Cuba for gender reassignment surgery prior to puberty.”
The affidavit indicates authorities found a note in the Inessa-Ethingtons’ home with “instruction from a mental health therapist located in Washington, D.C., including instruction to send the therapist the $10,000.00 and instructions on gender-affirming medical care for children.”
The affidavit does not identify the specific “mental health therapist” in D.C.
A Utah judge on April 13 ordered Rose Inessa-Ethington to “immediately” return the child to her former spouse. The former spouse also received sole custody.
“Your affiant believes that due to the extensive planning and preparation exhibited by both Rose Inessa-Ethington and Blue Inessa-Ethington to isolate MV 1 and take MV 1 to Havana, Cuba, without notifying or requesting permission from MV 1’s mother indicates they are likely not planning to return to the United States,” wrote Waterfield.
The affidavit notes Cuban authorities found the Inessa-Ethingtons and the child.
A press release the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the District of Utah issued notes the Inessa-Ethingtons “were deported from Cuba” on Monday “with the assistance of the FBI.”
The couple has been charged with International Parental Kidnapping. The Inessa-Ethingtons were arraigned in Richmond, Va., on Monday. The press release notes a federal court in Salt Lake City will soon handle the case.
The New York Times reported the child is now back with their biological mother.
“We are grateful to law enforcement for working swiftly to return the child to the biological mother,” said First Assistant U.S. Attorney Melissa Holyoak of the District of Utah in the press release.
The case is unfolding against the backdrop of increased tensions between Washington and Havana after U.S. forces on Jan. 3 seized now former Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro and his wife, Cilia Flores.
President Donald Trump shortly after he took office in January 2025 issued an executive order that directed the federal government to only recognize two genders: male and female. A second White House directive banned federally-funded gender-affirming care for anyone under 19.
The U.S. Supreme Court last year in the Skrmetti decision upheld a Tennessee law that bans gender-affirming care for minors.
Cuba’s national health care system has offered free sex-reassignment surgeries since 2008.
Activists who are critical of Mariela Castro, the daughter of former President Raúl Castro who spearheads LGBTQ issues as director of Cuba’s National Center for Sexual Education, have previously told the Washington Blade that access to these procedures is limited. The Blade on Wednesday asked a contact in Havana to clarify whether Cuban law currently allows minors to undergo sex-reassignment surgery.
State Department implements anti-trans bathroom policy
I’m telling the scared little girl I once was it’s okay to feel free
Memorial for groundbreaking bisexual activist set for May 2
ROSENSTEIN: Chavous for Democratic D.C. Council-at-Large
I don’t see the point in a relationship
Inside the lonely world of MAGA gay men
Wagons ho! High-class, head-turning haulers
Rorschach stages ‘Dragon Play’ in unlikely, raw space
PHOTOS: National Champagne Brunch
