Middle East
Brother of Israeli hostage visits D.C.
Gili Roman says his sister supported him when he came out
Gili Roman and his sister, Yarden Roman-Gat, have always been close.
“We are best friends,” Roman told the Washington Blade on Monday during an interview in D.C. “We understood each other without words, with words. We always stand for each other.”
Roman was 26 when he came out as gay to his parents. He told his sister several months later when they were on vacation in Vietnam. Roman said she was “very angry at me that I came out to our parents before I told her.”
“She said, ‘I don’t believe you told me after our parents,'” recalled Roman. “With my parents it wasn’t easy, but with her it was super easy and she was super excited for me because she wanted me to have this open and happy life.”
Roman spoke with the Blade less than a month after Hamas militants kidnapped his sister.
Roman-Gat and her husband, Alon Gat, lived in Be’eri, a kibbutz that is near the border between Israel and the Gaza Strip, for four years. They and Gefen, their 3-year-old daughter, moved in September because of what Roman described as “all the safety issues, and the missile attacks.”
“She wasn’t willing to tolerate that anymore,” said Roman.
‘For us it’s like a Holocaust story’
Roman-Gat, a physical therapist who works with elderly people and those with physical and mental health issues, and her family had just returned to Israel after a vacation in South Africa when they decided to spend the Simchat Torah holiday with Gat’s parents in Be’eri. They were in their home on Oct. 7 when Hamas launched its surprise attack.
Roman, 39, lives in Tel Aviv, which is roughly 50 miles north of Be’eri. He said air raid sirens woke him and his sister up at around 6:30 a.m. on Oct. 7.
“When it happens, usually we send a text message to find out that they’re also fine because for them, the time to get to the shelter is much shorter.” said Roman, noting people who live around Gaza have seconds to take shelter when militants launch a rocket. People who live in Tel Aviv have 90 seconds to seek refuge. “After the second missile alarm, I turned on the TV and understood that this is not the regular routine.”
“We started to see terrorists infiltrating different towns around the kibbutz,” he added.
Roman in a series of text messages to his sister asked her if she had locked the door to the safe room to which she and her family had gone and whether anyone had a weapon. Roman-Gat texted her brother every 30 minutes in order to keep their family updated about what was happening.
“She would text me either a heart or a small conversation,” recalled Roman.
Roman said he last heard from his sister at around 10 a.m. He told the Blade the “terrorists entered the house and took them” about 20 minutes later.
“At first I just thought that they lost connection,” said Roman. “We didn’t know exactly what happened.”
Roman, a member of the Israel Defense Force’s reserves, said he was preparing to deploy to the country’s border with Lebanon with his unit when he and his family “started to understand that something really bad was happening in Be’eri.” Roman-Gat’s father-in-law later told Roman he had been “separated from the rest of the family.”
“He was still in the house, and he saw all of his family members taken separately,” said Roman.
Roman told the Blade he received a video a few hours later that showed his sister’s mother-in-law and three of her neighbors “being taken through the street next to their house with a few terrorists surrounding them.” He said Israeli media reports incorrectly suggested the militants took them to the kibbutz’ dining hall and planned to negotiate their release.
Roman said Gat called him at around 7:30 a.m. on Oct. 8 and told him what had happened the previous day.
Media reports indicate four militants placed Roman-Gat, Gat, their daughter and two other Be’eri residents into a car. One of them had reportedly been placed into the trunk.
Roman-Gat and Gat jumped out of the car with their daughter as it approached Gaza. Roman said the militants began to run after them. He told the Blade they were shooting at them when his sister handed her daughter to her husband because he was able to run faster.
Gat hid with his daughter for 18 hours before they reached IDF soldiers at Be’eri. He told Roman he last saw his wife hiding behind a tree to protect herself from the militants who were shooting at her.
“For us it’s like a Holocaust story,” said Roman. “It’s a horror story, the worst horror story that you can imagine … the evil of it, of running, chasing an innocent family with a family.”
Roman told the Blade he put on his IDF uniform and drove to Be’eri on Oct. 8.
“Once you started to go to the South, it was like what you’ve seen in the movies: Battlefields, everything was on fire,” he recalled. “You saw bodies scattered along the along the road, and you saw the cars all scattered with bullets because people were killed while driving.”
Hamas militants were still around Be’eri when Roman arrived. He said two of them “tackled” them and “were shooting at us.”
“The officers had to get out of the car, kill them and get back,” said Roman.
He said it took a couple of days for the IDF to clear the militants from the area. Search crews were then able to mount large scale searches for those who were killed or kidnapped.
Roman said his brother-in-law was able to find the tree behind which Roman-Gat had been hiding. He told the Blade the searchers determined the militants had once again captured her and brought her into Gaza because they found her bare footprint next to a shoe print.
“They saw they didn’t go much farther from the tree,” said Roman. “They assume that somebody was carrying her.”
Roman said Hamas on Oct. 10 released a video that showed his sister’s mother-in-law and her three neighbors with whom she had been taken at the “end of the street in their own pool of blood.” Roman told the Blade that her husband and sons saw it on social media.
The militants also kidnapped Roman-Gat’s sister-in-law. Roman said the family believes that she too is now in Gaza.
Gat and his daughter are now living with Roman’s father at his home in Givatym, a city that is just outside of Tel Aviv.
Roman said his niece understands there were “bad people in front of their house, their safe place and took them and she was supposed to hide.” He also said she knows that he and his family are working to find her mother.
“They were inseparable,” said Roman.
Roman’s mother passed away 10 months ago. He said his niece was “very close to both of” her grandmothers.
Roman told the Blade his sister’s father-in-law is “doing his best.” He said he visits his family in Givatym every day.
“He’s a refuge in his own country,” said Roman. “He lost his wife, and his daughter is kidnapped and his daughter-in-law is kidnapped. It is very, very tough on him.”
Roman, 39, is a teacher who was previously the principal of the Eastern Mediterranean International School near Tel Aviv.
The school’s mission is to make “education a force for peace and sustainability in the Middle East.” Israelis, Palestinians and Arabs are among the students.
Roman has been a member of the Nemos LGBTQ+ Swimming Club for the last five years.
The Jewish Federations of North America brought Roman and his cousin to the U.S. They will travel to New York before returning to Israel next week.
CNN’s Jake Tapper is among the other reporters with whom Roman has spoken about his sister, who is also a German citizen. Roman noted he celebrated her 36th birthday last month when he spoke at a pro-Israel rally in Berlin that more than 20,000 people attended.
“It was very powerful, but also very evident that she was not there,” he said.
Roman when he spoke with the Blade was wearing a black baseball hat that read “Bring Yarden home now.” He also had a dog tag around his neck that had the Star of David on it and “bring them home now” engraved in Hebrew.
More than 1,400 Israelis have been killed since the war began. This figure includes at least 260 people who Hamas militants murdered at an all-night music festival in Re’im, a kibbutz that is a few miles away from Be’eri. Thousands of other Israelis have been injured and Roman-Gat is among the 240 people who militants from Hamas and other Muslim extremist groups kidnapped.
Hamas rockets have reached Beersheba, Tel Aviv, Jerusalem, Ben Gurion Airport and other locations throughout central and southern Israel. Media reports indicate Hezbollah, which the U.S. and Israel have designated a terrorist organization alongside Hamas, has attacked IDF posts and launched rockets from Lebanon into northern Israel.
The Hamas-controlled Gaza Health Ministry says Israeli airstrikes have killed more than 8,000 people and injured thousands of others in the enclave.
The Israeli government’s decision to cut electricity, water and food and fuel shipments to Gaza has made the humanitarian crisis in the territory even worse. The IDF’s ground incursion into the enclave began on Oct. 27.
Gazan authorities on Tuesday said an IDF airstrike in the Jabaliya refugee camp near Gaza City left hundreds of people dead or injured. The Associated Press reported the IDF said it killed a Hamas commander and dozens of other militants.
Calls for a ceasefire continue to grow louder around the world. Acts of antisemitism and Islamophobia have also increased in the U.S. and in other countries since Oct. 7.
Roman specifically applauded the Biden-Harris administration and the German government for their response to the war.
He said he “understands” and “relates” to some of the criticisms against Israel. Roman also acknowledged the “liberal world” and the “progressive world” and the global LGBTQ community “is very divided” on the war.
“I understand why people are hurting because of the lives that are lost right now in Gaza,” he told the Blade. “It’s not easy for me as well. I probably know more Palestinians than the people here.”
Roman said Hamas has “done harm to the Palestinian cause.”
“What happened in the South is not a Palestinian story,” he told the Blade. “The Palestinian ambition for liberty and for self-independence is very legitimate, but the jihadistic ambition is completely illegitimate.”
“It’s not something that anyone should justify in any way,” added Roman. “It’s pure evil, the desire to murder anyone who is either not Muslim or supports the ambition to create a Muslim empire.”
Oct. 7 was ‘the biggest failure of the Israeli state’
Roman pointed out he did not vote for Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and did not support the right-wing coalition government he formed late last year. Roman also noted he supported the protest movement against the proposed reforms to the country’s judicial system that activists said would harm LGBTQ Israelis.
He described Oct. 7 as “the biggest failure of the Israeli state.” Roman also reiterated the constant threats of rockets from Gaza is the reason that his sister and her family moved away from Be’eri.
“My sister wasn’t willing to accept it and I wasn’t going to accept it, but what can we do,” he said. “We are not government officials, but for years the world has accepted, Israel has accepted that we are consistently under fire, and this is how it let it happen.”
Roman told the Blade it is going to “take a while to control Hamas” and for the IDF to have military and political control in Gaza. He also said Hamas has a lot of support in the West Bank.
“It’s not something that you are being done with like a month or two,” said Roman. “It’s very necessary, but it’s going to be extremely hard.”
Roman told the Blade he is most concerned about what will happen once the war ends.
“There could be compromise with the Palestinians as a national entity, as a people, but there can be no compromise with the jihadists,” he said. “As long as they prevail and as long as they are in power and as long as they get so much support from the Palestinian people, you cannot even sit at the table and discuss. What can you discuss? They want you to be eliminated. There is no conversation.”
“We need to get to the point where the Palestinians realize that those two missions cannot be together,” added Roman. “They cannot wish to eradicate us and also get independence alongside us.”
He said Israelis also “need to get a lot of trust they didn’t have in the first place in the intentions and ambitions of the Palestinians and of the Arabs around us.”
District of Columbia
Bet Mishpachah welcomes release of last hostages from Gaza
President Donald Trump helped broker ceasefire between Israel, Hamas
Bet Mishpachah on Monday welcomed the release of the remaining hostages in the Gaza Strip as part of a ceasefire agreement that President Donald Trump helped broker.
“As we enter into the holy days of Shmini Atzeret and Simhat Torah, we are flooded with a mix of emotions,” said Jake Singer-Beilin, the Washington LGBTQ Jewish congregation’s chief rabbi, in a message to members. “The great joy of these holy days was smashed two years ago on Oct. 7, 2023. Hundreds were murdered on that day, and many — alive and dead — were taken hostage.”
“Today, as the last living hostages return back to Israel, we find great relief as well as pain for what has happened to them up to this point,” he added. “This year, we will celebrate with exuberance knowing that a ceasefire is holding, and that the captives have been redeemed. We will also hold within us the grief that we feel for Israelis and Palestinians who died on that day and since. With these swirling emotions, we offer thanks to the peacemakers and to the One who makes peace on high. We pray that peace will reign in the region, and that those who have endured so much will find healing and hope.”
The Israeli government says Hamas militants killed roughly 1,200 people on Oct. 7, including upwards of 360 partygoers at the Nova Music Festival near Re’im, a kibbutz that is a couple miles from the Gaza Strip, when it launched its surprise attack on the country. The militants also kidnapped more than 200 people.
(Washington Blade video by Michael K. Lavers)
The Hamas-controlled Gaza Health Ministry says Israeli forces have killed more than 67,000 people in the enclave since Oct. 7. Karim Khan, the International Criminal Court’s chief prosecutor, has said Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and former Hamas leader Yahya Sinwar, who the Israel Defense Forces killed last October, are among those who have committed war crimes and crimes against humanity in Gaza and Israel.
The Israeli government has strongly denied it has committed genocide in Gaza.
The ceasefire between Israel and Hamas took effect on Oct. 10.
The last 20 living hostages returned to Israel on Monday, while the Jewish State released 1,968 Palestinians who had been in Israeli prisons. Hamas on Monday released the bodies of four hostages who died while in captivity.
Trump, Egyptian President Abdel Fattah el-Sisi, Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan, and Qatari Emir Tamim bin Hamad Al Thani on Monday signed the ceasefire agreement in Sharm el-Sheikh, Egypt. Trump earlier in the day spoke at the Israeli Knesset in Jerusalem.
“This is the historic dawn of a new Middle East,” said Trump in his Knesset speech.
The ceasefire and its implementation remains tenuous, but one Israeli LGBTQ activist with whom the Washington Blade spoke on Monday celebrated the hostages’ return.
“Emotions are high and everyone is with their loved ones or celebrating in the streets,” they said. “It’s definitely a historic and joyful day for the Israeli people.”
Ga’ava, an LGBTQ group that is affiliated with the Toronto-based Center for Israel and Jewish Affairs, on its Instagram page proclaimed the “hostages are free, war is over.” A Wider Bridge — a group that “advocates for justice, counters LGBTQphobia, and fights antisemitism and other forms of hatred” — described Monday as “a joyful day.”
Comics
Lesbian comedian who performed in Saudi Arabia apologizes
Jessica Kirson invited to participate in Riyadh Comedy Festival
A lesbian comedian who performed at a comedy festival in Saudi Arabia has apologized.
Jessica Kirson joined Dave Chappelle, Pete Davidson, and dozens of other comedians who participated in the Riyadh Comedy Festival that began in the Saudi capital on Sept. 26 and is scheduled to end on Thursday.
Kirson performed on Sept. 29.
Saudi Arabia is among the countries in which consensual same-sex sexual relations remain punishable by death.
A U.S. intelligence report concluded Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman “likely approved” the murder of Jamal Khashoggi, a Washington Post columnist, inside the Saudi Consulate in Istanbul in 2018. The Saudi government has also faced criticism over the treatment of women, migrant workers, and other groups in the country.
“On Sept. 29, I performed at the Riyadh Comedy Festival. This decision has weighed heavily on my heart ever since,” said Kirson in an exclusive statement to The Hollywood Reporter. “I like to express my sincere regret for having performed under a government that continues to violate fundamental human rights.”
She said she was “surprised” as “an openly gay person” to receive an invitation to perform at the comedy festival.
“I requested a guarantee that I could be openly out as a lesbian on stage and perform gay material. I hoped that this could help LGBTQ+ people in Saudi Arabia feel seen and valued,” said Kirson. “I am grateful that I was able to do precisely that — to my knowledge, I am the first openly gay comic to talk about it on stage in Saudi Arabia. I received messages from attendees sharing how much it meant to them to participate in a gay-affirming event. At the same time, I deeply regret participating under the auspices of the Saudi government.”
Kirson in her statement to THR said she “donated the entirety of what I was paid to perform there to a human rights organization.”
She did not say how much the comedy festivals paid her, or the group to which she donated her fee.
“I made this decision because I want that money to go to an organization that can help combat these severe issues,” said Kirson.
THR notes Marc Maron, David Cross, and Atsuko Okatsuka are among the comedians who criticized the festival. Kirson in her statement said she respects her “fellow comics who have spoken out against” it.
“I recognize the concerns and criticism this has raised. I hope that this moment sparks dialogue about how we can use our platforms for good — to support people without a voice and to find ways to be less divided,” she said. “In the past, I’ve faced criticism for choices I’ve made, both on and off stage, and I rarely responded. This time, I felt I needed to speak up. I could not remain silent.”
Kirson ended her statement with an apology to her fans and others she has “hurt or disappointed.”
“I have a special relationship with my fans because of the vulnerable nature of my comedy and the trust they place in me as part of the queer community,” she said. “To my fans: I see you. I hear you. Your voice matters to me. I love you all, and I am genuinely sorry for making a poor decision that had repercussions I didn’t fully consider. I will take full responsibility for my actions and dedicate myself to making amends, so that my words and choices reflect the respect and care you deserve.”
The 2034 World Cup will take place in Saudi Arabia.
Qatar, which borders Saudi Arabia, hosted the 2022 World Cup. Consensual same-sex sexual relations remain punishable by death in the Middle East country.
President Donald Trump in May visited Qatar, Saudi Arabia, and the United Arab Emirates.
Israel
Activist recalls experience in Tel Aviv after Israel-Iran war began
Marty Rouse was part of Jewish Federations of North America Pride mission
A long-time activist who was in Israel last month when its war with Iran began has returned to D.C.
Marty Rouse traveled to Israel on June 6 with the Jewish Federations of North America. The 5-day mission ended the night before the annual Tel Aviv Pride parade was scheduled to take place.
Mission participants met with Israeli President Isaac Herzog and several LGBTQ activists in Tel Aviv and Jerusalem. They visited the Western Wall, the Nova Music Festival site, and Nir Oz, a kibbutz in southern Israel that is less than a mile from the country’s border with the Gaza Strip. Mission participants also visited Sderot, a city that is roughly a mile from the Hamas-controlled enclave, a veterans rehabilitation facility, a new LGBTQ health center and the Aguda: The Association for LGBTQ Equality in Israel in Tel Aviv.
Hamas militants on Oct. 7, 2023, killed upwards of 360 partygoers and kidnapped dozens more at the music festival that was taking place at a campground near Re’im, a kibbutz that is roughly 10 miles southwest of Nir Oz. The militants killed or took hostage nearly a quarter of Nir Oz’s residents. They also took control of Sderot’s police station.
Tel Aviv Deputy Mayor Chen Arieli spoke at the mission’s closing party that took place at the Sheraton Grand, a hotel that overlooks Tel Aviv’s beachfront, on June 12.
Rouse and other mission participants planned to stay in Tel Aviv for the Pride parade, which was scheduled to take place the following day. He and Gordie Nathan, another mission participant who lives in Palm Springs, Calif., had checked into a nearby hotel that was less expensive.
“We said our farewells,” recalled Rouse when he spoke with the Washington Blade in D.C. on June 24. “We went to our hotels, and we get the warning, and then all hell broke loose.”
Israel early on June 13 launched airstrikes against Iran that targeted the country’s nuclear and military facilities.
Rouse said mission organizers told him and other participants who remained in Tel Aviv to meet at the Sheraton Grand for breakfast and dinner — Israel’s airspace was closed in anticipation of an Iranian counterattack, and authorities cancelled the Pride parade.
He said he went to bomb shelters at least twice a night for three nights.
Israel’s Home Front Command during the war typically issued warnings about 10 minutes ahead of an anticipated Iranian missile attack. Sirens then sounded 90 seconds before an expected strike.
Rouse and Nathan walked to the Sheraton Grand on June 13 when the Home Front Command issued a 10-minute warning. They reached the hotel in a couple of minutes, and staff directed them to the bomb shelter.
“You know to walk slowly, everything’s fine,” recalled Rouse. “You get 10 minutes, so everything was fine when the alarm goes off.”
Rouse described the Sheraton Grand shelter as “well lit” with WiFi, a television, and air conditioning. He was watching an Israeli television station’s live coverage of the Iranian missile attack when he saw one hit an apartment building in the Tel Aviv suburb of Ramat Gan.
A 74-year-old woman died and her boyfriend was seriously injured.
“I go over to look at the TV, just to watch,” recalled Rouse. “All of a sudden, you watch, and you see one bomb go and land and explode in Tel Aviv on TV. It landed and blew up.”
“I was like, okay, this is real, and so that was scary,” he added.
Rouse said the bomb shelter in the hotel where he and Nathan were staying after the mission ended was far less comfortable.
“It was dark. It was humid. It was hot. It was very uncomfortable,” said Rouse. “You really felt alone.”
Rouse and nearly everyone else on the mission who were in Tel Aviv when the war began left Israel on June 15. They boarded buses that took them to the Jordanian capital of Amman, which is a roughly 2 1/2-hour drive from Tel Aviv through the West Bank.
Rouse described the trip as “like a field trip” until they drove across the Jordan River and arrived at the Jordanian border crossing.
“You walk into this room, and instead of being in a well air-conditioned airport, you’re in this hot, humid, small place in the middle of the desert, packed with people, and those big, large, loud fans and pictures of military people on the walls,” he said. “It was almost like a Casablanca kind of feeling.”
Rouse said Jordanian authorities brought mission participants through customs in groups of 10. A Jewish Federations of North America liaison from Amman who previously worked as a tour guide for A Wider Bridge — a group that “advocates for justice, counters LGBTQphobia, and fights antisemitism and other forms of hatred” — went “behind closed doors” to ensure everyone was able to enter the country.
“It took a really long time,” Rouse told the Blade.
Mission participants arrived in Amman a short time later. They checked into their hotel and then had dinner at a restaurant.
“Now we feel like we’re safe and we’re in Amman,” recalled Rouse. “We’re sitting outside having a beautiful dinner.”
Iranian missiles passed over Amman shortly after Rouse and the other mission participants had begun to eat their dessert. They went inside the restaurant, and waited a few minutes before they boarded busses that brought them back to their hotel.
“No one was openly freaking out, which I was surprised by,” said Rouse.
The group was scheduled to fly from Amman to Cairo at 11 p.m. local time (4 p.m. ET) on June 16. They visited Jerash, an ancient city north of Amman, before their flight left Jordan.
“[The Jerash trip] actually took our minds off of everything,” said Rouse.
A Jewish Federations of North America contact met Rouse and the other mission participants at Cairo’s airport once their flight landed. Rouse arrived at JFK Airport in New York on June 17.
Trump-announced ceasefire ended 12-day war
President Donald Trump on June 23 announced a ceasefire that ended the 12-day war.
The U.S. three days earlier launched airstrikes that struck three Iranian nuclear sites. The ceasefire took effect hours after Iran launched missiles at a U.S. military base in Qatar.
Iran said the war killed more than 900 people in the country.
The Associated Press notes Iranian missiles killed 28 people in Israel. One of them destroyed Tel Aviv’s last gay bar on June 16.
The war took place less than two years after Oct. 7.
The Israeli government says Hamas militants on Oct. 7, 2023, killed roughly 1,200 people on that day when it launched its surprise attack on the country. The militants also kidnapped more than 200 people.
The Hamas-controlled Gaza Health Ministry says Israeli forces have killed nearly 55,000 people in the enclave since Oct. 7. Karim Khan, the International Criminal Court’s chief prosecutor, has said Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and former Hamas leader Yahya Sinwar, who the IDF killed last October, are among those who have committed war crimes and crimes against humanity in Gaza and Israel.
Rouse upon his return to the U.S. said he “was never as aware of the comfort of another human being than I was during that time.” Rouse affectionately called Nathan his “bomb shelter boyfriend” and even questioned the way he reacted to the missile alerts.
“He’s sitting on the edge of the bed and he goes, okay, I’m going to put on my socks and my shoes, and I say, really? You’re going to put on your socks,” Rouse told the Blade. “The fact that I was nervous, that putting on socks might have changed the direction of our lives, to me was like I can’t believe I said that to him.”
Rouse quickly added Nathan helped him remain calm.
“If I was by myself, those nights would have been long enough,” said Rouse. “It’s a totally different feeling to be with another human that you know than to be by yourself.”
Rouse also praised the Jewish Federations of North America.
“JFNA really sprung into action and started to figure out all options to get us all safely home,” said Rouse. “It was all about logistics. Staff worked around the clock identifying and then mobilizing to get us back to the states. It was a great team effort and I know I speak for everyone in expressing our deep appreciation for their dedication to getting us safely home.”
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Calendar: November 14-20
